I met this guy on line, he lived in MD i live in CA, we would talk on the phone like all the time he was really nice and someone i thought i would love, after 3 months of talking on the phone and exchanging pics he moved in with me, the first 2 weeks was great but now he changed and we always fight, he gets mad for any little reason, he is always in a bad mood, im a happy go lucky person so im not used to being around someone like that, my question is what do i do? i cant just kick him out, he don't know anyone he don't even have a job yet, he has been her like 2 months. any advice?. no sarcastic remarks please. PS. i'm very unhappy
2007-01-26 20:54:28 · 9 answers · asked by fallen_angel 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's too bad you weren't asking for advice before he moved out from Maryland and in with you in California. Now you are kind of trapped.
My only suggestion would be to tell him you want to move to a different place and suggest he get a job and keep the place you are both in now. I realize that may be difficult if you like your current place, and are not in a financial position to move. But, you're right, kicking him out would be cruel and unjust since he left most likely his job, home and state to move out here to be with you.
Two months is such a short time to really get to know someone, and you obviously didn't spend enough time on line or on the phone really getting to know each other.
It is also possible that he's in a bad mood because he hasn't located a job yet, is scared and nervous, and after all he's in a different state away from his friends and family I would gather. He may be different if he was working and feeling more like a man and a provider. You may just want to give him a bit of space, and try to help him find a suitable job. Are there some other nice qualities you do like about him? Is it really a total loss or do you just have cold feet and second thoughts?
Give it some more time. I do wish you the best,
2007-01-26 21:11:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a grl too. Maybe I might be able to give u a more girly answer. Haha. Cheer up girl! Even I'm a happy-go-lucky person, but can be very emotionl at times.
In ur case, u ll need to tlk to him and ask him y he is behaving like tht. Do not just kick him our and end the relationship. Maybe he has sth bothering him. Try tlking to him first, and explain how u feel to him as well. If he doesn't change, u ve nochocie bt to end the relationship then and there. Give him some more time, but make sure u confide ur feelings to him first. Then, ull ve to tell him to leave if things dun change. If he gets violent, dun keep quiet. Call the police!
All the best. Just be happy and dun wry :)
2007-01-26 21:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definately bieng used and its going to be a hard time for you for awhile until hes gone. Make sure he gets a job, anything even if its mcdonalds. Then let him know that you are not ready to live with someone because its too uncomfortible for you Or try to talk him into going back to where he came from to visit if he is so unhappy even if it takes you buying the ticket then once he is there call him and let him know its not working out. Its Gotta be torture. Im happy go lucky too and a downer su*ks.
2007-01-26 21:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by JAMI E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you got yourself into this, my dear, but your only choice now is to 'throw him out.' If he won't go, then you'll have to notify your landlord (if you rent) or sell your house (if you own) and get out yourself ... you can go to any 'domestic violence shelter' for women if you can't find another place he couldn't find you ... and DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY MONEY or ANY ACCESS TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNTS. This man may never hit you, but he is still abusing you ... and he probably went online to find a woman he could abuse -- by being 'open' and 'vulnerable' that's what you showed yourself to be, even if you didn't know it -- and if you don't either throw him out (and get a 'restraining order' is a good idea, too) or get out yourself, you'll be the one who is STUCK with a man who makes you 'feel responsible' because he 'doesn't know anybody' and 'can't find a job.' HE DOESN'T WANT A JOB because he has you to support him. And when you go out to work every day, what is he doing? I'll bet he does know people, and some of them may even be his friends, but you'll NEVER MEET THEM because he's running his 'I'm dependant on you' scam and abusing you at the same time. END THE RELATIONSHIP NOW! And get some 'help' for yourself from a mental health professional, because his abuse has 'damaged' you and you need time and good help to 'get better and get over him' ...
2007-01-26 21:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say definately give him an ultimatum. Lose the attitude or get out. I understand that he dont know anybody, but does he really think he can move cross country with someone he never met in person and just do whatever. If he if treating you badly and making you unhappy, you really just need to think about you!
2007-01-26 21:02:59 · answer #5 · answered by jennafisch1285 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should tell him,"This isnt working out. I know you moved a long way for this, but its not what I want. To be fair I am giving you until (a set date about a month from now) to move out."
2007-01-26 21:01:54 · answer #6 · answered by salinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him y he's being that way. if he continues to act like that then u will have to kick him out. theres no other choice exect to be unhappy
2007-01-26 21:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by PhatCat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ignore him
2007-01-26 20:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by shrey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him what you told us
2007-01-26 20:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by q6656303 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋