here's all the facts abt my bf not spending money on me?

Question

ok, i left out info on my last posting...I'll lay it all out.

been w/ my man for 3 months. care about him a lot. he goes to school and so do i. i have a job, he doesnt. I pay for everything when we go outl. he does nothing nice for me....he can't b/c he doenst have money to. he doens have a job because he says school wont allow him to. but he misses school every other day so that doesnt make sense. Do i dump my BF that i care about so much because he can't do things for me? when he does get money, he waste it on fast food and a bad habit. He knows how i feels, but says it will be better in a couple of months. do i wait and keep paying, or do i call it off until he can get stable? im sad b/c xmas, & my bday passed and he did nothing. I just want him to do nice things for me.i pay all the time and im tired of it.

we have our own separate apartments. separate cars. he can get a good job, he just doesnt want to work right now

Answer 1

There is a difference between "doing nice things for you" and "paying for things for you."

I've gone out with my friends and spent all of $10 but we have an AWESOME time. We'll make a picnic, go to the park, go swimming... we do things with each other that don't cost a dime. Its possible and its usually more fun than anything else!!

If you want him to pay for things, you're obviously not into the relationship--- you're into THINGS. THINGS don't make a relationship. And it does make you shallow and vain.

If you want him to do nice things for you and express his interest/affection, that's different. He can make you dinner with food you already have. He can give you a back or foot rub. He can help you paint your toe-nails. He can have a movie night with you wihle you watch all your girly chick movies and he's not allowed to complain. l

These don't cost a single penny to do -- if that's not the type of thing you watn from him , you're not in the relationship for anything more than THINGS. And I'd re-evaluate what, exactly, you want.

If you DO want him to be attentive and affectionate, set the stage with example. Start doing these things for him. Stop going OUT.

Better yet sit down and talk to him. "Hon, we've been spendign lots of money going out lately and I need to save some more. Can we stay home the next few weeks? Maybe try and be creative with how we spend time together?"

If he's smart, he'll get the picture.

Answer 2

You should tell him how you feel. Have a serious heart to heart chat about it. Tell him that it would help if he payed for things sometimes, and he should at least be considerate and make you a gift if he can afford it. He could write you a song, or make a card, etc... Also make certain he knows that you can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't at least do something sweet for you occasionally. If in a month or two he doesn't change after you mention this to him, I would tell him that it's over.

Answer 3

That's tough. Does he stay with you? If so, then sounds like he is just looking for a free ride. Think about it. If you pay all the bills and he doesn't even have a job and barely goes to school, sounds like a free-loader. I do not know you nor him, but judging from your story, I would say toss him out with the trash.

Answer 4

A relationship is 50/50.... this is more of a 90/10 thing... I think he's just using u to get through school financial times

Answer 5

u do realise dat u screwed mightily here. u seem to forgot the fact that dere is no me in relation ships. for 4 yrs dat guy was wid u n dat too widout sex i appreciate him 4 dat. u didnt even gave him physical pleasure as well emotional one. u left him thinkin dats best for u, u didnt even stand up for ure love. now when he is over u n U realised u cant live wid out him, again u came back. see honey have u ever considered dat he might b hurt den n so hurt dat he even dont wanna see ure face just b'coz he was being frnds wid u after all dat doesnt mean u can get him back in life. forget abt him. he moved on in his life. n u shud do it too. marry a boy wid loads of money n in ure religion. n for sure he wouldnt have slept wid any other gal as u want. MOVE ON ...........

Answer 6

Dont waste your time to that guy....Maybe he is handsome guy or good in b....so your the one who spend money for him when you go out every time.... Why dont you ask him a call off... So you know him if he really loves you. When he back to you and he is stable already... and pay with your dinner or lunch when you have a date,,,hehehe......and give you a gift when the occacion come.......

Answer 7

I'd probably leave. But if he makes you happy, you need to talk to him about his situation. Tell him, you care about him, but you're starting to feel used. Tell him you want to feel like the woman in the relationship. You're playing his part. Its 50/50 sometimes he should pay, sometimes you should. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

He's taking advantage because you've allowed it. You're smart though, because most people keep allowing it for another 6 months before they start considering ending the relationship.

Answer 9

He's a leach. Keep seeing him if you think the relationship has staying power. DO NOT keep paying for everything though.

Answer 10

I would dump him. He isn't working now he won't be working later. He isn't treating you right now he won't be later. Face it there is no future with him, dump him now, and Never look back at him again.