I have chronic achilles tendonitis, which is like having 2 sprained ankles all the time and I have a bulging disc in my back. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm really depressed because since I had to quit going to biblestudy, only one girl called me one time. It's like I don't even exist. I live with my mom because she has to take care of me, so I talk to her sometimes and my counselor, but I don't have any friends anymore. Everyone left me. Do they just not know what to say? Are they so busy that they don't even think about me? I'm really sad because I can't drive and I'm in a lot of pain and no one will call me or come by to see me and I'm afraid to call them. I'm afraid that I don't have anything good to talk about because I'm so depressed, so I'll just make things worse. So, I don't call anyone and they don't call me and I'm all alone and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me?
2007-01-26 19:48:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Pain & Pain Management
You maybe right, your friends may not know what to say to you and they may be a bit uncomfortable. Remember, if they feel this way it's because they care and don't want to hurt your feelings. Just like you're self conscious about calling them, they too maybe self-conscious about calling you. So, break the cycle. Rid yourself of your depressed feelings, you have no use for them. Take a few moments and write down some topics to break the ice. Discuss what's going on with you so long as you are comfortable doing so. Just make sure not to make your condition the sole topic of the conversation. Though you are in a great deal of pain, if you give yourself a little pep talk before making your first call you'll feel more confident on the phone and you'll sound more upbeat, which will help your friends feel more comfortable. You can do it and you deserve happiness!
2007-01-26 20:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Christine D 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh you poor child and i'm sincere wen i say this chronic pain is hell it changes are life don't give up i know its hard believe me i know , have you tried calling them up and starting a conversation sometimes people just become busy with there on lives they have there own problemes and its not because they are avoiding you its just life keeps everyone so darn busy so you try calling them and ask about them try even if its hard talking about them and there lives and try to avoid just talking about to many of your problemes or aches and pains make it about them once and awhiled people need us to listen to them it works both ways and most people like to be around positive folks so in the beginning fake it and at some point it will rub off on you and become truth
2007-01-26 20:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by lorie v 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I, too deal with constant pain and understand chronic constant the problems that it can cause. I, too, have lost many friends because of it.
People do not know how to deal with people who suffer in constant pain. They do not know what to say or do, and they often feel helpless. Althought suffering in pain is difficult, it is also difficult for others to see you in that pain.
Try seeking out support groups. Your therapist could be a good place to start.
I do have one friend, who herself deals with constant chronic pain. This has put our friendship on a level that others cannot contend with because we understand how each other is feeling without having to talk about it.
If you would like to send your e-mail address or yahoo IM, I would be happy to chat with you. Believe me, when someone who is going through something similar to what you are going through it creates a common bond.
If you have a relationship with Jesus, you might find prayer helpful. Considering that you were in a bible study group, I think you might want to give it a try. I pray for strength to deal with the daily pain and everything else that I have to go through.
God bless - I hope you have more good days than bad days.
2007-01-26 20:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by sisbee8 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My brother had an operation due to the same thing you have. You sound like a thoughtfull person, people understand that your not at your best when in pain. Dont worry about it. Its very hard to remain cheerfull when in pain, I think your friends know this. Why not go back to your church, you will meet new friends and maybe see some old friends. With what you have, you should let people know that you are never without some pain , even tho you take pain killers, but you are doing your best to cope. good luck to you.
2007-01-26 20:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I do. You are a bible reading person and you know how God works. Maybe He's isolating you so you will realize what you really need. We always need God in our lives and He wants to help us to help ourselves.
Your letter talks about what others have done to you. You need to straighten up and get your body back on track. God will help you every step of the way. Read His word and keep praying every day. Make up your mind that you are not going down like this. You deserve a better life than this. You need to do what it takes to get it. Find out what you need to do to get your health problems in some kind of normal order. What has to be done to get on your feet? What can be done for the bulging disc in your back? Get serious about living. You have only one chance to make your life your success. You know God will help you, but you've got to get some serious determination. Get your body working and get back to your friends and bible study. Find encouragement and hope for your future. I feel so good about what you can do that I feel like you can do it. Try to get your pain under control. Sometimes getting your mind on other things in your life can help the pain along with your medication.
You've got a lot to do. I hope in one month from now you will have made a big difference in your life style. Set goals for yourself each day. When you wake up each morning, think, what am I going to do today to help me get my future in gear? To get people back into my life?
I am a winner.
2007-01-26 20:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by Barbra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Overcome your fear and start calling people. Invite some of your friends over. Also try visiting with your mom’s friends. Your some of your mom’s friends probably have offspring. Use networking to find more potential friends, incase your old friend turn out to be fare weather friends.
2007-01-26 20:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bud#21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you go to your doctor and get medication that is both that has both pain killing properties for nerves and is is also a mood stabilizer. Neurotin is one such types of medinces. I've been in chronic pain and its very depressing. You need to get your pain level down so that you can function and go out with your friends and have a painfree evening.
http://www.askapatient.com/viewrating.asp?drug=20235&name=NEURONTIN
2007-01-26 20:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Rockford 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call them...it's hard to keep in touch sometimes
they may be worried that they might be bothering you if they call.
You should make the first move
2007-01-26 19:59:47 · answer #8 · answered by Dreamer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see a doctor who will do a check up
2016-05-24 04:41:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋