Is it worse if parents only stay together to raise the kid and hate...?

Question

each other, or if they split apart and the kid is raised by one parent. Because I know that my mom definately stayed with my dad only to raise me (I think she was at fault here, not my dad) and I think this was very selfish of her. What do you guys think?

Answer 1

I definitely think it would be better if the parents separate.I'm in the same situation.My mom stayed with my dad only to raise me and my sister.And how did it end up?He often beated me and my sister and we only suffered with him.Now my sister is 20 and somehow gets on with our father and I'm 15 and almost don't talk to him and just wait for the day when I'll be able to leave home.Till that time I don't think I will ever look at him as a father.He will always be an obstacle for me and when I leave home he won't be anymore.

Answer 2

Children will get hurt no matter what parents decide to do in a situation like this. The best alternative will be to try to fix that marriage which is always possible if just both parents really want that. I am against divorce as a believer but it there is a real reason for separation like adultery or abuse, I think the lesser of the two evils will be to separate. Who can live under the constant bickering of two people who hate each other?! Even grown-ups can't stand it, let alone a child.

Answer 3

I don't think it was selfish of her, I truly think she probly did it thinking it was the right thing to do for you, most likely thinking it was better than have you go through poverty which many singles mom's do, and not come from a broken family. Not to long ago Mother's always got the children in a split which would have had an ill affect on your relationship with your Father. Always remember there are always 2 sides to every story and not everything is as it seems.

Answer 4

I think that the child should be raised in a loving environment and if that means there is only one parent that so be it. I couldnt think of anything worse than living with my parents when they are at each others throats 24/7 I would much rather live with only one of my parent and see the other one regulary. This means that I am being raised in a loving environment and my parents are happy as well

Answer 5

The children will inevitably pick up on the lack of emotional connection as well as the negativity. It's unhealthy for children to grow up around that type of atmosphere because they will think it's normal. Later in life they risk having problems forming loving relationships of their own. It's terribly irresponsible and selfish of parents to stay together just "because of the kids." It places undue responsibility on the child, making him/her feel as if it's somehow their fault the parents are not getting along in the first place.

Answer 6

Falling out of love with someone can be handled two ways. You both acknowledge it and just stay together and get on with it.
Or, you become so angry, jealous, hurt etc. that you choose to not be together. If you both love the children and can organise it, go for shared care. At least they will see both parents.
It is unfair on the kids to force your adult feelings and emotions on them to totally stuff up their lives.
They are ENTITLED to love and care from all their family including both sets of grandparents aunts uncles cousins etc.
It is possible to resolve differences without involving the kids. Do not speak ill of your spouse in front of them or to them. If abusive or violent behaviour is happening in the home then definitely put a stop to the children's exposure to this. One of you move out short term and only see each other away from the kids until you can conduct yourselves respectfully in their presence.
The short answer now?
Kids are more damaged by parents together that fight , than parents apart and tranquil, or even (dare I say it) happy

Answer 7

I think it is better to just separate cause if you say together the kids still see how much you resent each other so they know you are only doing it for them and does not make things any better i don't think it's your moms or dads fault cause they were both just trying to do what they thought was best for you even if THEY were wrong mistakes happen

Answer 8

I think that people can do bad or silly things for reasons they really believe in.

It totally stinks living in a household where people are fighting all of the time or are cold to each other. However, maybe your mom was concerned that your standard of living would go way down if she and your dad divorced. There are also people who just plain don't believe in divorce, who treat marriage like it's something to be endured.

I'm sorry if that was the situation you grew up in. Speaking from personal experience, it makes it darned hard to develop romantic relationships that are healthy.

Answer 9

I think it is better to separate, and make joint decisions when it comes to the kid's future. That way, the kid will not be exposed to fights and tensions. Now so many families are blended, that kids whose parents are divorced are not unusual.
However, do not blame your parents. I don't know how old you are, but if you are a bit older, remember that 30-40 years ago children of divorced parents were teased and somewhat ostracized, so maybe your mom didn't want to expose you to that.

Answer 10

i think its worse to stay together children always know.....
besides dont u think a chid is better brought up in a happy home rather than a home full of hate and dispair even if the home is only with one parent
i dont think it was selfish of your mum to do this as she had good intentions she obviously thought it would be better for you, if anything i feel sorry for her that she stayed with your dad and never had a chance to find happiness and true love