I accepted the position of a bridesmaid to a friend, even tho I knew I didnt want to. She's 1 of those 'friends' that no-1 really likes, but put up with her basically becos she's the girlfriend of one of the 'boys'. She does have many good points, & I grew very close with her over the last 2 years, but then the bad started to outweigh the good, & she became even more manipulative & just a plain *****. After about of month of craziness, I wrote her a letter, & said I can't be your bridesmaid etc.. This happened last August. Her wedding is coming up in April, & while I still was a bridesmaid, she asked my partner to MC the wedding, which he still is doing. Since then, her partner, & her fam, have pretty mcuh ignored me. & I can totally understand why! All our other friends have supported me through this tho, but I just think it would be easier not to go, since it's obvious Im not wanted. But not going might make an even bigger statement? Appreciate your opinion!
2007-01-26 18:40:14 · 16 answers · asked by *~Ally~* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
They clearly do not want you to attend. Likewise, you do not want to go. Why create unnecessary friction by going somewhere you are not wanted. No matter how much you dislike her, she is entitled to a beautiful wedding day. If your presence will cast a cloud over this occasion, it is better for everyone if you do not go.
2007-01-26 18:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh! I can totally understand where you're coming from. But, for the sake of taking the higher road here's what I would do. I would attend the wedding - sign the guest book. Go thru the line and tell her she looks beautiful and tell him congratulations (keep the "good luck with this one" unsaid) and gracefully leave before the reception. Your partner can still MC and you won't have to worry about any ugly looks. I think not going will really make the bigger statement you're wanting to avoid. It's one of those times you've got to suck it up and put the big girl panties on and do something because it's right and not because it's something you want to do, I'm very sorry to say. If it makes you feel better, you're not the only one who has been put in this situation but you can be the bigger person. Good luck! You're tough - you can do it!
2007-01-28 07:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that since you declined the offer to be a bridesmaid, you will only draw more negative attention to yourself and feel uncomfortable if you attend as a guest.
It sounds like you would prefer to not be in her life at this point.
When you attend a wedding it is a happy event for the couple, and it is a wedding couple you would like to see after they are married, which doesn't sound like the case with you and her.
When you attend a funeral, it is a sad event shared by all who attend, and you know you will be unable to see that person ever again.
If you attend this wedding, it will feel like a funeral for you.
Get together with some friends the day of the wedding and go somewhere nice to get your mind off of it.
But do send a Congratulations card to the bride and groom, nonetheless. Good luck to you.
2007-01-27 02:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, isn't your life drama filled. I don't think you should go. You insulted this girl. I can't understand why. You accepted the offer and then threw it back in her face because you were lying about your friendship all a long and got tired of the lie or maybe just lazy and selfish. Being a bride's maid isn't really that big of a deal. You just have to stand there and look nice for awhile. If you didn't want to be a bride's maid maybe you shouldn't have accepted it in the first place. Don't go to the wedding.
2007-01-27 02:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would have more fun going to the dentist! Really, don't go to the wedding regardless of any support you have received. Your decision to not be in the wedding seems like a good choice, but if you attended the nuptuals and reception, your presence would be awkward for the bride and her family and whoever else is ignoring you. Why would you want to be some place where you are" not wanted"?
2007-01-27 02:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by lydlykarug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Clee, Go to her wedding,she is still your friend. Let her know you are there as a friend,and wouldn't miss her wedding for anything.Help her enjoy,and be happy on her special day. You will feel a lot better about yourself,and this shows her,you are really a good friend. Relax,and have fun. A Friend
Clowmy
2007-01-27 02:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a toughie for you.Either way they will talk about you and if it was me i wouldn't go unless i spoke to the bride and resolved the issues before the big day.You will feel uncomfortable on the day and she will be annoyed at your presence if you don't sort it out.If it cant be sorted out stay home and let your partner go alone.
2007-01-28 09:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you still invited? Check to see if it's OK for you to go and then go. Try to fade into the background as much as possible but make sure the bride sees you so that she knows that you didn't just blow her off. If she is marrying one of your friends, and you want to keep the friend, then it would be better to not make her an enemy. You wouldn't want her as a close friend but it's best to keep things as friendly as possible.
2007-01-27 02:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by Tabitha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should definitely still go. putting hard feelings aside. i think the people that have the most success in life in general are the ones that think about tomorrow first and today second. example...... years and years down the road when you pass what would you like people to remember you for. the answer with this one ? believe it or not will help you with a lot of things in life.
2007-01-27 05:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by davimich1975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Action speaks louder then words and if her family and friends are ignoring you then your not wanted. But you could try to talk to her and see how it turns out, then just ask her about coming. If you just don't want to go then don't. Drop it and move on.
2007-01-27 02:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋