feeling guilty!!?

Question

I want to go back to work, but I'm having second thoughts....I was raised in a home where mom stayed with the kids and dad went to work...........I don't want to miss any of my kids especial ocassions like their first day of school, first field trip, first play, etc, etc....So I would feel really guilty if I missed any of that.......Any advise??

Answer 1

i plan on staying home with my kids forever! my brother, sister and i are all grown up now, but my mom still doesn't have a job. she appreciates being free to help us out whenever we need it, and we all appreciate it too. you just dont have that freedom when you have a job. we all live across the country, and she is still available whenever we need her. i am about to have baby #2, and she is flying out for 3 weeks to help. she would never be able to do that with a job. personally, as long as your family is financially supported by your husband (and he doesnt mind doing that alone), i would stay home. but i also totally understand that some moms really feel a need to get back to work! that is such a personal decision, but i would really hate missing out on anything in my childrens lives. you could always try to work part-time.

Answer 2

Look if you have the choice to stay home or work then it is just that your choice.I can not tell you what to do.But I will say this, think about it first. If you get a job will your work be effected by your feelings of guilt and your longing to be home with your kids?Or if you stay home will you resent the fact and take it out on your family?I know many mothers {me included }who are stay at home moms but plan to go back to work when the youngest goes to school full time.That is always an option.I also know mothers who work and still find the time to do the things they want to do with their kids. It truly is up to you. If you have the money and can afford to do so why not work part time so you can have the best of both worlds? As I have said if you can afford it take the time to think about it and make the decision from your heart. Your are not going to be a bad mother no matter what you chose,as you odiously care a great deal about your kids.

Answer 3

Rest assured that a lot of moms feel exactly the same way you do. They enjoy their jobs and would like to keep their skills up to date, or they just plain go nuts if they have to stay home with the kids. They also feel guilty for feeling that way. ("I love my kids but ...")

Is some compromise possible? For example, can you find a part time position that will allow you to work but also enjoy some of those special times with your kids? Sort of ease back to work?

Some other things to consider:
- The happier you are, the better off your kids are likely to be.

- The older your kids get, the less your working is likely to affect them.

- Women traditionally have less money set aside for retirement than men because of taking time off to raise kids.

- It's important to keep your skills and job history up to date in case (heaven forbid) something ever happens to your husband and you have to support your children alone.

Are you feeling less guilty yet?

I say go for it and see how it goes. If it doesn't go well or you're still consumed by guilt, you can always quit the job!

Answer 4

Ever thought of working from home? I am doing just that and I love it. I am a mother of two young children and I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I make my own hours, so my kids have me when they need me. I found a WONDERFUL company that is so family friendly and supportive that I love what I do.

If this is something that would appeal to you, email me and I will give you any info you want about the company I work with.
[e-mail]

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 5

I know how you feel even though I'm 13!!! I have an eight month old sister I want to be there for every moment! It's fun seeing them excited.
Anyways, I would say that if you could you could get a not so difficult, work at home job. You would be able to work and be with your kids. So you wouldn't be far and be stuck behind a desk until your lunchy break. Also remember it's not like you'll have to stick with home jobs for a while, later they will be too embarressed to have at middle school and up.But its fine that wont be for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Its hard to be a stay at home mom now. And most us have to go back to work. Don't feel guilty for making sure that your family has everything they need. Believe me, when your kids look back in life they will be happy they had food instead of you being there for every moment. And remember, you can always take time off of work for these special occaions. You can make it work.

Answer 7

1) You can always go to work later if you do not like it.
2) Find a job you can do at home.
3) Find a job you can do part time.
4)Find a job that goes around your type of social calendar.
5)Your most important job in the world is to be a good mother.

Answer 8

Get a job where you'll be able to take time off for your kids' special occasions and have the best of both worlds. Family is important but so is having a work life, even if it's just part-time.

Answer 9

U an still go back to work just do the best u can and make sure ur kids know that u love them very much.

Answer 10

do what you feel like. It is easy to feel guilty if you let your parents expectations live in your head. I would want to work to (if I had a choice)... at least part time... being wtih the kids all day wears you down. You need away time to come home fresh and energized...