A question about molestation...?

Question

Is it necessarily rape if the "Mother" is trying to humiliate her daughter? Without going into many details, she hit me many times with a hairbrush, and then put it where brushes don't belong. She said "I'll make it so you'll never be loved again!" It's been 6 years, and many doctor's visits Ob/Gyn, and I cannot have children because of the trauma. My mother who lives very far away recently called after finding out that I can't reproduce, and said "See, I told you, no one is going to want to love you now!" I never did anything about this because I knew that it would end up being my word against hers, and she could easily say that I hate her so much I did it to myself.

I was fourteen, and am now turning twenty in a few days, and I know it's something I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Answer 1

I'm sorry this happen to you.
Your mother sexually assaulted you & yes it's a crime.
Yes, even now you can bring charges. I'm sure there were doctor
visits when your mother injured you, so there are records. Have you ever discussed what happened to you with anyone else or are you just now talking about it? Have you talked to a counselor about this or joined a support group? Have you confronted your mother about this? It all depends what you need to do for yourself.

Answer 2

Rape is actually forcing sex upon another person, so this wouldn't be the case. However, it is First Degree Sexual Assault. Placing an object inside someone is first degree sexual assault, no matter WHAT the object. Each state has it's own statute of limitations, most are around 2 to 3 years, so I would check to see what your state's is... if it is still within the time frame, you can press charges. As long as you have documentation from your doctor's visits, I would say you have a solid case against her. You are a better person than your mother, and please don't allow her to make your life painful and affect your relationships with others. It's probably too late for her to change, but it's not too late for you to get help. You should definitely try to pursue a case, the sooner the better. Don't let her get away with this. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 3

I would talk to the police and find out what the statue of limitations are in your area. You might also ask your doctor if he can provide any medical proof to verify the damage that was done by her. After six years, it may be too late to press charges. If it isn't through, I'd strongly suggest you consider pressing charges. Remember this isn't your fault, your mother needs help.

I'm very sorry you went through this. No matter what you do, you should seek the advice of a counselor. If I were you, I wouldn't contact your mother unless she's willing to apologize for her actions.

Please think about taking these steps, even if nothing becomes of reporting her you at least could try. It may be embarrassing, but that's just what your mother is counting on to continue your silence. Don't be fooled by her anymore.

Answer 4

You can be loved, and you should be loved.

Your mother is mentally ill. That does not give you an excuse to be that way. Get with support groups --- there are plenty around in most major towns and cities -- so that you can make a plan to move forward. The rest of the world, and probably some frightened little children out there, need you to be strong, loving, and successful. There is much love you can give to others, and there is much you can contribute to relieve the pain of others.

Nothing heals the heart as much as a child's grateful smile. Take the bad experience and use it as a reason to do good.

Answer 5

First I am so sorry that this has happened to you. We must all come to a point of forgiveness for others--and not necessarily for them--but for us--so that we can let this go. Perhaps your mother was traumatized as a child, but that is no reason for abusing you. We all have a responsibility to stop cycles of abuse and violence.
I can only say that if I were in your shoes, I would tell my mother that I will have no more contact with her until she gets some help, and treats me with the compassion, love and dignity that I deserve as her child. As for you, you need some professional help getting through this, because if you don't the cycle will continue and if you have children, you will do as your mother did--and I know you don't want this. Like most people I had childhood issues that I had to work through--had to forgive my parents--but I had professional help, and the help of God to heal my heart, mind and spirit.

Reverend Drew

Answer 6

Do what you can sweetie, fight this one to the death. Tell evertyone who will listen, even the one's that won't. Family is family, but she has already broken this trust. It's time to clean up your past and put an end to something that many children suffer at the hands of. Go to the police, go to local agencies that handle this stuff, sue her civily if you have to, your medical records and recolections with be the shield and proof you need. No one would believe you would do this to yourself as a child. Your mother obviously has you in this battered abused syndrome state to this day. Stand up and fight, you need to take something bad that happened to you and turned it into something good, this will help you heal and understand. Send a strong message to the world that it is unacceptable to treat anyone, let alone children, like this. Good luck and God bless, I'm glad you have someone in your life to support you right now. Know that you are loved and that there are good people out there.

Answer 7

That's terrible. I'm sorry but I think that rape it firmly used on males doing it against females, and I haven't heard of a case about a mother and her daughter. I believe that is abuse/molestation. Have you told your doctor? What has she/he said? I think you should take it to the authorities. No one should get away with that. Oh! and DON'T believe what she says, someone will always love you, no matter what happened. I have to say that you are very strong for going through that. God bless. Oh! It may be considered as a hate crime also.

Answer 8

With a therapist, it can all come out. Not only can you begin the long road of healing and becoming whole, but the therapist could vouch for you.
I'm sorry that was done to you. I don't think you should try to keep it to yourself or just 'let it go', for any reason. There's nothing in this world a child could do to warrant that kind of abuse. Nobody's going to believe that a child could do such a thing to herself. The MD will substantiate the extent of the damage. Please tell a therapist/counselor. Start out by saying there's something you want to 'get off your chest', and the therapist will take it from there.
Best wishes, hoping for your complete healing and recovery.

P.S. Nobody here knows you personally, but we all have a measure of love for you. Your mom's wrong.

Answer 9

I think the most important thing here is that you ARE loveable.

Your mother is despicable, but you already know that. I'm sure that being raised in an enviroment like that has caused some self doubt. So I am going to repeat this and cyber shout it.......

YOU ARE LOVEABLE.

Take care of yourself. Surround yourself with people who can support you. Forget about your mother, unless you need justice as a form of closure. If you do, know that you are valuable enough to deserve justice and persue it.

I send you love and light and healing.

Answer 10

Oh my god. Sweety, that's one of the most horrible, evil things anyone can endure. It's hard enough to be violated in such a way, but by one's own mother... I'm just speechless.

Even if it were your mother, it damn well was molestation and rape. If the trauma was enough to cause you to be sterile, that should be proof enough to make it more than just your word against hers. At any rate, people like her make me hope there IS a hell with many levels - so we can drop kick her in the face right to the bottom!

I admire your strength to survive that and I hope she gets what she deserves.