my boyfriend of 13 months wants me to move away to louisana with him which i think is a great oppurtunity for us the only problem is i dont want to leave my family and i have nothing also to mention i would have to transfer schools my boyfriend tells me he would support me finacially and i have nothing to worry about i always wanted a new start at life and think this could be it but i also have negative thoughts to like if the relationship does not work out and so on, we are both in love and have talk about moving together for a while i already told him yes and i dont want to upset him if i happen to change my mind can someone give me some advice on whether i should take this jump at life and go or sit back and wonder how things would of went.
2007-01-26 17:40:02 · 7 answers · asked by terrificlady 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, just go for it. It may be a gamble but there is still a chance at getting something good out of it. Unless you feel you can do better by staying with your family.
2007-01-26 18:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by rezruf 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The most important thing to think about is if you two break up , will you be able to continue school without his support or would you be putting your entire future in this guy's hands you've only known known him a little over a year and if he was so sure he wanted to be with you forever he would have asked you to marry him. He hasn't so he is still not officially committed to this relationship and he could change his mind about being with you any time he wants. At a very minimum, have a back up plan, never totally depend on anybody. Moving to a new city can be a very stressfull situation that will also add stress to your relationship.
2007-01-27 01:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Rollo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you get caught up in the idea that someone will "take care of you" ... you need to sit down and write a pros list and a con list to figure out if you should/want to really relocate.
If you have the self motivation to support yourself if the moment came when you had to, then that's a very good thing. You should be able to support yourself. It's great to have a partnership, but making sure you have a pillow on your own butt will help you if you ever fall.
My dad once told me, if a man really loves you and wants the best for you then he will follow you around the world and back and not make promises he just doesn't know for sure he can keep. - I'm not sure the same applies to following the man.
Statistics aren't crazy... they are what they are, and nothing is promised besides death... people get together and people go their own ways in relationships. Just look at friendships out of highschool when they get to college... people just change when they are figuring themselves out. You're at a stage in your life where it's very important to concentrate on yourself and make plans for where you want to be --- outside of your relationship.
If you can make plans for yourself and be self motivated in getting yourself there, then by all means that should go in your pros section of your list. If you already know that you're not motivated and lack common sense (not entirely a bad thing) then that should go in the cons section as it will cause problems when you find yourself somewhere you really just don't want to be and don't know where to begin to get yourself out of it. If you have a pattern of that type of outcome in your past then you've answered your question already.
Your family is important, but they will "be there" (or should be) no matter where you go. Technology can be wonderful with helping with that. You love them, you'll put in the effort to keep in touch, even if they don't.
remember : what you do now will determine your future (huge concept, but true). Especially in this stage of your life. Be strong and don't let anyone make you feel bad about whatever you decide. DO NOT RUSH. NOONE should force you to do something you're not wanting to do... boyfriend and family included. FYI creating strong bonds with some people will get you through anything. Within a year or two you'll want to ease yourself into "Life", if you up and go before preparing yourself you've got a greater risk of just getting "scooped up" and caught up.
2007-01-27 02:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by TVSPBT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to really look at this from all angle, you are leaving everything behind, family, friends, also school and he may
be there for you, but things changed when you in a new
surrounding and to have to depend on someone else for
everything until you get on your feet could be a problem down
'the road, dont jump to soon in the water . take time to see
if this is what you really want, because want you go there
no turning back. so just keep that in mind. good luck iwth
what every your decision. hope that help.
2007-01-27 01:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, this is a real mess looking for a place to land and it will be all over you. Tell him that you may join him when he is established and proves that he has a stable home for you to move into, and an income adequate to support you.
Be smart .... stay in school right where your at. After you complete school move on to higher education and get a good career. Don't assume that this is your one and only chance at a new beginning.
2007-01-27 01:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by terrya1750 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you should finish your semester of college and try staying there for a while, and I know it might suck to leave the loved ones behind but trying out things in life is what life is all about!! Try staying there for the summer and see how it works and if it works then success! If it doesn't at least later in the future you'll say hey I tried it and it didn't work. Also talk to your parents and ask them what they think of the situation and what would they do if they where in the same shoes that your in now.
Good Luck!!
2007-01-27 01:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by natali3x3 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Tell him you'll move with him the day after he marries you.
Seriously, do not make a life change of this magnitude for someone who is just a boyfriend.
2007-01-27 01:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋