A few nights ago I told a female friend who I've known for 8 years that I had strong feeling for her. She was nearly floored when I told her. She said it was a total shock. She also kept saying that I totally caught her off guard and that she doesn't know what to say or think right now but that she was glad I told her. I was really expecting a clear yes or no answer but she's kind of left me in limbo. Any thoughts?
2007-01-26 17:32:31 · 18 answers · asked by Sub Xero 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well if she has honestly never thought about you like that (which it sounds like she hasn't by her reaction) then it will take her a while to decide how she feels. You should NOT pressure her or put a time limit on it. I would await about a week or maybe even two, and then call her up to hang out (or whatever you all normally do together). Tell her, when you are in person, that you didn't mean to make her feel akward and that it's cool for the two of you just to be friends.
This way now her eyes will be open to thinking about you as a romantic possibility, but she won't feel pressure for an "all or nothing" type thing, and start to ignore you altogether. Then if she does want more with you, she will let you know (subtley probably...) and if not, then atleast you won't lose a good friend.
2007-01-26 17:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me and I did have to collect my thoughts but it was the next day after that I told him that I also had feelings for him too. I think if she doesn't say anything for 3 days then maybe you should email her (would be less akward for the two of you rather than being face to face...especially if you don't hear what you'd like) and ask her what her thoughts were to his feelings. Also, be prepared...she may say that you are a great friend and that she only wants friendship from you. In that case if you want to keep a good friend you need to tell her that you will respect her decision...if it would be too hard to be "just friends" with someone you have deeper feelings for then maybe you wouldn't be able to continue being a freind. Good luck.
2007-01-27 01:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry dude ....... If she hasent answred yet she may not ever. She may try to pretend it never happend and try to go on like every thing is like it was . And then youll act funny and shell eventualy start to avoid you and then the next thing you know she dosent hang out in the same places, or with the same people and her phone # is different. And even if she does go for it after a few weeks shell start to fight with you and then itll be over.
BUT I dont know her ........ she may be formulating some romantic reciprication for you and you may live happily ever after.
Dont call and when you see her next you might not even feel that way any more.You may have needed to say it to let go of it . In which case, say sorry Blame it on the booze and tell her you dont know what came over you but your always open for a roll in the hay ( as a joke.......unless shes goona do it).
2007-01-27 01:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by manhattensally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight years is a long time to be carrying that around. I am assuming she is not married, but that she may be currently involved with someone. I think she was very honest in her answer to you. If the feelings were mutual, she would have expressed that. She probably loves you as a friend and now does not know what to do and does not want to hurt you.
2007-01-27 01:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't stalk her.
If you have already told her and she told you that she is floored then its a good indication you are not thought of as a love interest.
Be cool but do not be aloof. You did not do anything wrong but you sure did not win any points with her.
She proabably does not think you are her cup of tea but hey a women has been known to change her mind.
Always be a gentlemen. Chicks really don't know whats good for them anyway. JK....lol
2007-01-27 01:39:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I took a shot in the dark with the information you said, I would say it's not looking good for you. Usually that response is a cop out of saying thier not interested but I don't want to hurt your feelings. I've been in a similar situation. I hope I'm wrong though, Good Luck!
2007-01-27 01:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by NOTW70X7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your friend and she cares too much to hurt your feelings. You've told her, now let it go. The ball is in her court. Give her space and time. Anything more and the friendship could become uncomfortable...
2007-01-27 01:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by shees_a_challenge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her some time. it's a shock to her because u've known each other for so long. she might need a week or two. shes probably confused where this came from. i no u wanna no but b patient
2007-01-27 01:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by Vampire Kisses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Politely ask her when should you be expecting a decision from her. Until then giver her time and space so she can think clearly.
2007-01-27 01:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by mahindraoye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a friend tells you something like that you really do have to think about it. You start second guessing your feelings. "we have fun together," "he is cute," "could i see myself kissing him?" "what if we got in a fight, would we stop being friends?"
just give her time.
2007-01-27 01:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by March Mommie 07 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋