My cat is just plain MEAN. Can I chang her?

Question

I have a 3 year old tabby cat I named Saber. I had no idea when she was a rambunctious little kitten that she would grow to live up to her name. She is just flat out MEAN. Sometimes she likes me to pet her, but it's only on her terms. If you try to pet her otherwise, she'll bite the hell out of you after she scratches the hell out of you. She's really crazy. And I recently got a 2nd cat hoping Saber might make a friend, and she won't have anything to do with my new kitty, Sahara. So now Sahara bullies Saber. Sahara is the sweetest most affectionate cat I've ever had. Saber is the meanest. I love her to death, but what the hell can I do to change her pissy attitude? She's NUTS! I never abused her, never hit her, always LOVED her. What gives? She really loves to follow me into the bathroom, and she hangs out in there all the time. She likes to lay by the sink and will beg for me to turn the water on to a trickle so she can drink it. She's sweet at that time. So??

Answer 1

I'm not sure you can really do anything to change Saber's attitude. I've had a couple of cats like Saber over the years - hardly ever seem happy, is "touchy" (that is, doesn't like being touched), and seems to just want to tell the world to take a hike.

It's interesting that her one "sweet spot" is the bathroom. Maybe she feels that the bathroom is the only place where she can have your absolute, undivided attention. And in there you do something that she finds delightful. My advice would be to keep up that ritual, and as she drinks, talk to her in a soft voice and keep repeating the same phrase over and over, and one that you will always tell only HER. Something like, "you have pretty stripes (or long whiskers, or whatever). Keep repeating that phrase to her while you're in the bathroom. Do it EVERY time she follows you into the bathroom. She'll learn to associate that phrase with pleasant feelings. Then, when she's outside the bathroom, say the phrase again, over and over. Speak in soothing tones. Observe her body language to see if it has any effect. It might take a while, but I've known this technique to work with a lot of unapproachable cats.

But if it doesn't work, don't feel bad. Sabre may just be one of those kitties that are so independent she feels that she has to "assert" herself again and again. And with Sahara beating up on her, that may only reinforce her resolve. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm just laughing at your retort to Philip. Class!!! I kinda agree, some answerers go too far- rather than taking the time to explain WHY they really need to get the pet checked out, they just hurl abuse. Thats especially important if you're talking to a kid who can't convince their parents to get the pet to a vet- the more info you give the kid, they more ammunition they have to bring to their parents and get them to change their minds! There are plenty of things that don't necessarily require a vet trip- but can usually be cleared up by ringing the vet. I can imagine someone who had never heard a cat pass a furball would flip out with worry. i know the first time I heard it, I was on the verge of performing the Heimlich manoevre on the poor puss!! I have taken cats to the vet and been sent home again told to 'monitor' it and come back/call them if it carries on (in the case of vomiting for example- there was no way the vet could tell me if it was a furball or a food problem or parasites like giardia) ANd that costs £76 rather than £38. It's trial and error sometimes and keeping a close eye out and trying different things before resorting to an all out ultrasound/ biopsy/ cat scan. Just like you don't take your kids to a doctor everytime they have a cold or an upset tummy- thats what milk of magnesia is for. And a watchful eye. People come on here to find out what experiences other ppl have had and can be a valuable tool in knowing what to look for while you're waiting for the vets appointment- the more info you can give a vet the better he can do his job! The better questions you can ask while you're in there too. What I cannot tolerate is those people who repeatedly ask the same questions repeatedly rather than do something about it? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has spotted them- asking the same questions three days on the trot, getting more hysterical each day. They annoy me very badly and I have snapped at them! There are ways to get around the vet payment- I have never met a vet who would turn away an animal who needed treatment badly if the pet owner could promise to pay in installments. Most vets got into vetinary because they care about animals, and would hate to not find a payment plan that will work. And there are other options here in the UK such as NSPCA Animal Hospitals that offer other options- they have a free helpline that is excellent and goes through checklists of things you need to look for to be able to tell you if it sounds serious or treatable at home (wasp stings for example) And I was just wondering- have you ever been worried one of your huskies would eat the chihuahua? Or does he ride on their backs like a Queen?

Answer 3

I have a cat like Saber, and I sympathize with you! My cat, Bailey (named after the alcohol because he acts drunk), runs around all day and if you try to pet him then he is likely to try to bite off your finger. What I found to work best is to get a spray bottle and fill it with water. When Saber does something you would consider "bad" then spritz her one time. Cats usually hate getting water on them so she should settle down. When she wants to be petted, then pet her but when she is done you have to stop. She needs to know that if she does not like an activity, then she will be able to leave without harm. You should find that on her terms she will come to visit you more often. The other thing I can suggest is that she seems to want more attention from you. Try getting some toys you can use to play with her, like wands or things you can hold from afar. See if anything here helps you, I know it helped Bailey and me live together happily!

Best of luck!

Answer 4

OK-this should take care of that wild-woman. First, is she spayed? If not, get that done ASAP. If you pay close attention, (assuming she is NOT spayed), you'll notice these episodes seem to go in cycles, and it's when she's in the "breeding mode". Then, get yourself a spray bottle filled with plain tap water. Every time she bites/scratches you, give her a good "blast" right in the face and firmly say "NO!" After a few times of this, it should work as a great attitude adjustment--I know it does with mine. All I have to do anymore is say (and he knows what I mean) "Do I have to get the blaster bottle?" Rarely do I have to spray it anymore, just the sight of the bottle does it. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hi
About all you can do it talk to her and love her and spray with a water bottle when she acts up,
so she will no your upset with her. But you tell her you lover her but it hurts you when she bites you. Many used this trick for many things for behavior and for keeping them off furniture and othe things. After awhile they get the message and they sometimes do better. Was the Mother of the cat who acts out abuse or miss treated.
Cause that can be a reason too. Sounds stupid.
But its true. The Mother of my cat went crazy and had to be put down she was violent and attacking everyone. I had to raise Samantha and Bubba and feed them with a eye dropper.
Bubba turned out so loving. But Samantha was different she was scared of everyone and everything. She trust no one. She better now about somethings but not alot. She never wanted anyone but me. But she older now and her brother Bubba passed away 2 yrs ago and she has began to be around people more. She has days she still hides but now she so much better. Before she hide under the bed and cover sand behind the furniture. I don't know if it will help but it worked on Bubba he was a handfull atimes he climbed everywhere and I was worried he would fall. He love to attack the Christmas tree or torment Mother Kitty the older cat who passed too.I would spray him once and he would tear out of the room and he was leary at frist. I would tell him I love you but thats a no no . I hope this helps.

Answer 6

From your message it sounds like both your cats are indoors. I have a cat also that was supposed to be an indoor cat but he turned out to have a very bad attitude. Once we started letting him out doors he was better. Give him attention when he does request it and he will calm down eventually. He is much calmer now. As you probably noticed they are just like people. Many types of personalities. My other cat is much sweeter and likes being indoors more.

Answer 7

You won't be able to change her. I had a cat that only liked me - was openly hostile to everyone else in the house. The kids would tell me that she would stalk and harrass them at night.

Answer 8

cats have weird psycologies give it alot of milk and pet it behind its ears thats all i can say

Answer 9

Get her fixed it will calm her down and keep from any kittens!