i really need help, my bf's mom loved me then found out about my religion, and now hates me?

Question

everything was giong great, his mom absolutly loved me to death, invited me over EVERY weekend! told me i was the best thing that ever happened to her son. then she found out about my religion, and all the sudden i'm the worst thing that can happen to her son. me and my bf have discussed it and we've agreed that it doesn't matter to us, we still love eachother and he said nothing would change that. but all the sudden he isn't calling me or returning my calls, he's stood me up a few times and i can't get a hold of him. i would be extremely surprised if this was his doing, i think his mom might have something to do with it. but how do i handle this situation? i don't have a prob. with his mom, as long as she leaves my beleifs alone. i've never said or done anything to offend her, in my knowledge anyway. i really need help becuase i'm still in love with him and i'm sure he is too. i dont' know what to do. =* ( PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

wow. i wish i knew what to say to help...his mom sounds like a real bigot!! and i'm really sad that she's able to turn him against you.

for whatever comfort this may be, my brother's best friend's parents are of totally different religions and have been married for over twenty years.

i wish i could help more...

good luck!

Answer 2

Regardless of the reason, if he has backed off then there is nothing you can do about it. As if he is that much under the control of his mum (as you think that is the reason for him not calling) then you have no hope with a relationship with him anyway. His mum will always have the upper hand and control of him.
I think I would just be up front and ask why he hasnt called and if it is over to let you know instead of avoiding you. If he does say it's over then you can ask him why.
But in the big scheme of things you are most likely better off without him if his mummy is going to call the shots.

Answer 3

Well, what you need to do is to leave a message or contact him somehow and tell him that you both need to talk. Ask him if this is the reason why he is avoiding you. Sounds like he has already made his decision though. If he has, then he never really loved you as much as you thought he did. Otherwise he would have had the decency to at least tell you that he can't see you anymore. If religion is going to make him act like this, what other reason could do the same thing.

Answer 4

i think that you need to talk to them and let them know how you
feel your religion beliefs should not be a problem if both of you
discuss this openly as a couple then it should not be a problem
it sound like he was dishonest withyou and it was a issues with
him and that not good. when you not honest with each other
then you dont have much change for this to work out. and
if he mother is also telling him this, time to move on. it about
honest and trust, and also how or what you believe is your
choice and and no one should stop you, if he cant respect
that then he not the one for you.

Answer 5

Does your religion matter to you?

If not, maybe you could look into converting to his, if you want to continue the relationship with his mother's blessing.

However, if your religion does matter to you, I respectfully suggest that you look for someone who shares it. It makes things a whole lot easier when you're on the same page about something as deeply felt as religious values.

Answer 6

he's not calling you, and not returning your calls. Walk away, why want someone who doesn't want you? Walk away, let him go. If he comes back fine. If he does--maybe you'll talk to him, maybe you won't. A real man would not let his mother get in the way. Are you sure that is the real reason?

Answer 7

In the end you two are going to have to stand up for yourselves. I hate ultimatums, but in this case I think you need to give your boyfriend one. Tell him that either he needs to stand up to his mom and be with you despite your religion or you're going to leave him. You at least deserve enough respect to break up in a respectful manner if it comes to that and not break up because he just disappeared on you.

Answer 8

don't convert like that one person told you. you stay with what you believe...unless you truely believe what they believe is right. don't let some bf's mother change who you are. the fact is...she loved WHO you are, she loved your personality, your charm, your beauty, everything. until she found out you had a different religion. i have zero respect for those kinds of people. its bullshit. religion doesn't automatically make one bad. see...im a christian...and my girl is from pakistan, making her muslim. i never had the chance to let her parents love me the way your bf's mom loved you. they hated me from the start. it ultimately came about to her being kicked out and my parents letting her stay at our house. now we live together. my girl had the choice...she could stay with her family, or she could stay with me. to her mom and dad, there was going to be no comprimise. they hated me from the start. i say you had the better situation. however it sux to know that someone that loved you now hates you. i wouldn't've worried about it if your bf wouldn't've stopped calling and stuff. but its obvious that his mom is either brainwashing him or forcing him (either financially or through threats) to try and break up with you. i don't understand why its a big deal to her...but she's just one of those super religious people that put religion in front of respect...which is hypocritical in most cases seeing how mostly all religions teach you to respect thy neighbor...even if they're in a different religion. (shi-ite muslims are an exception to this, they're taught to kill those who aren't their religion, which makes it hard for me and my girl seeing how she has some shi-ites in her dads part of the family). i say talk to this kid, if he loves you, he won't let mother push you away from him. but you have to understand that if its her threatening to kick him out...where is he going to go? you have to think from his point of view on that one. are your parents gonna let him live with you? furthermore...do you want him to leave his family? i'm almost sure this has something to do with why he's more distant now...just talk to him. tell him your worries, and i hope for you the best.

Answer 9

If you want to talk religon......the bible says "the time will come when a man must leave his family"....... "unto each man there shal be one woman"...... if she cant accept that than she really dosent love her son. She is entirely to selfish aka apron strings, and untill shes ready to let go, he wont be abel to leave. move on a ,momas boy is too much comprimise youll loose to much trying to make it work........it realy has nothing to do with your faith and everything to do with her ability to controll you.

Answer 10

He's not treating you right & you should blame him, not his mother. If he really loved you he would be a man and stand beside you. I'm afraid this is a 'red flag' of things to come. Beware!