I would like to know if it's just that I'm a single mom feeling bad for myself over such a comment or what! Ok we've been best friends for ten years, together the last two. I have 3 kids age 7, 4, and 3. My two youngest kids know very little of who their dad is. Not envolved at all, basically. We ended up moving into his parents house. Plan on moving sooner than soon.... Anyways, I love his parents. They are good people. But, this evening his dad made a comment to me when hearing in on our conversation. I got invited to go to a concert with a girlfriend of mine. His dad walks up and says, " I think you should think about who is going to babysit your kids first." "Hopefully, it's not going to be him." "See, I take care of him, he takes care of you, and you take care of your kids." "They are YOUR kids!" Now, umm does that seem a little odd to be making point of? I know they are my kids. We are not married. They are not his kids. But what was his meaning to that?
2007-01-26 17:03:08 · 12 answers · asked by sexy_lop 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Apparently Dad thinks you are taking advantage of his generosity. He is right to say you are responsible for the children,and while your under his roof he has the right to express his opinion. Where I feel he's wrong is that he should not be keeping his son from helping you with the kids. If he's with you,the kids come with the package. My advice would be to talk it over with your boyfriend first,then the two of you can talk to Dad.
If you can't resolve the situation peacefully,maybe it's time to find a place of your own. Good Luck!
2007-01-26 17:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by mopjky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I simperties with what happen to you with your job and that boy friend had to spend time in jail. But now, you or your boyfriend have to get a job and take care of the family? Parents want what's best for their children. He wants to see both of you all doing things to better you all lives.
How is going to a concert look like to him? You all are single and going to a concert! Is your boyfriend supportive of this? He is thinking that it's possible for you to make a new relationship. He doesn't want to contribute to the "breakup" by babysitting. Think how he is feeling, he wants you all to stay together.
Hope that help Good Luck
2007-01-26 19:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by . 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think ya'll should be married before you and your kids move in with your bf's parents, or at least engaged. I think it is important to have a strong commitment before living together, especially if you are living with his parents!. Plus, I bet that they would be much more friendly towards you if they knew you and your bf were in a serious, committed relationship. Anyway, the point is that if your bf is with you, he is with your kids too. It is really important for your bf AND his parents to understand that. To them, your bf is the male figure in their life. They are looking up to him whether you realize it or not.....as far as the nasty comment. Tell him to mind his own business, in a polite way. I would just say "I understand I need a babysitter, I have been a single mother for 7 years, I know how to get a babysitter." Seriously, he should not be questioning you, although I bet he made the comment because he was really trying to say, "don't expect me to watch your kids while you are out having fun at a concert." Make it clear to him that you don't intend to use him as a babysitting service, and you appreciate all his help......if that doesn't work, just stand up to him and tell him to respect you.
Take Care!
2007-01-26 17:48:33 · answer #3 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
His meaning to this, apparently, is that he thinks it’s inappropriate for you to go out with your friends and leave the kids at home with Boyfriend. I’m guessing he might think that you’re taking advantage of Boyfriend.
So, did you plan on having Boyfriend watch the kids? If so, did you ask him or just assume that he would? Even if you asked, did he agree merely because he felt like he had to? Have you done it (leaving the kids with Boyfriend while you go out with your friends) before?
And I’ll just add this too, although it might not have anything to do with it…he’s got 5 extra people living in his house, only one of which he’s even related to. Maybe he’s upset that you’re spending money on something like going to a concert instead of saving to move out (because I assume the plan is not for you all to live there indefinitely). If I were him, that would be my concern.
2007-01-26 17:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would wonder about the obvious as well. It sounds like his parents do not want to be left with your kids nor do they believe that their son should have to look after them either, If this is so, then the next time you go out hire an outside baby sitter and go and enjoy your self.
2007-01-26 17:13:37 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That was abit confusing but I think I understand the point of it - I think that they don't want to look after the kids anymore, so maybe you should consider getting a baby sitter in before you go out
2007-01-26 17:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
people are often uncomfortable with kids without their parents around. you are the mom, you are the only parents these children really know, if you are gone, and the kids are left with who ever this person is, he is prbably worried that if something goes wrong, what is he going to do? how is he going to calm the child, etc. For example, my fiance let his nephews come over tonight, and we were going to take them to the museum , and i was cool with it, until i realized that their mom is not going to be there, like i thought she was. i don't know how they are going to act and i don't want to take them somewhere that i am unfamiliar with with kids i am unfamiliar with.
so, to cut to the chase, i don't think it was to be rude, but he is probably uncomfortable with the fact that he might have to watch them, or be there and not know what to do...i guess.
2007-01-26 17:13:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you taking advantage of the situation because they are there all the time? Did you ask them if they had any plans?
Remember to give them the respect that they deserve. They are wonderful, loving people for helping you and your family out. Don't take them for granted.
2007-01-26 17:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by autimom 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everbody needs to look at what they are putting in and what they are getting out of a relationship. It sounds like you are getting way more out than you are putting in. Hopefully that thought will keep you from feeling too bad for yourself.
2007-01-26 17:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by my_evil_twin_41 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
move out. if you're not married then he has no obligations to you and your kids. don't make it hard for your kids. this is the reason why it is hard to live with your in-laws. and it is definitely harder if you are not really married to the guy. you'll just hear lots of nasty comments.
2007-01-26 17:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋