It's been about 2 months since my baby daddy and I broke up. Tomorrow would have been our 4 year anniversary. I'm so broken inside, but everyday I pretend that everything is ok. I feel so lost and alone...and I wish I could just get over all this. I am still in school, I work out everyday, and I am there 100% for my daughter. (He is too.) But, my problem is that, I hate him. I don't want to but I do. I feel like he stole my dreams away from me, and now he's pursuing his. This makes me so angry. He left me for some one else, and he pretends like everything is ok when he comes around. I don't even want to see him really, but deep down inside I miss the hell out of him. I don't know...I really don't anymore. Is that normal?
2007-01-26 16:12:02 · 12 answers · asked by Stefi13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, I'm a guy, but I have to say: "what the hell is wrong with guys!" You had a family. How could he just leave you? I'm sorry, but he used very poor judgement in leaving you.
As for you, YES, you're very normal. Your feelings (as you describe them) demonstrate to me that you are a caring and sensitive lady. I think he blew it by leaving you.
You should know that in time your sadness will lessen.
Yes, it sucks to be abandonded... and while i don't know you, I have to think that his leaving was about his selfishness and not about the amazing person that you are.
You seem like a very sweet person... don't let this terrible thing turn you bitter. Keep your head held high, continue your education, and use this time to transform yourself into a confident and independent lady.
2007-01-26 16:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by i_tunes_junkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal. Is it part of the grieving process. You lost something you thought was special. Too bad he didn't have the same feelings. Words are just words and float away on the breeze. Actions are grounded in the earth. If he was committed to the relationship marriage, responsibility, etc would have been part of him. This bird didn't have the right stuff.
Your responsibility now is to your daughter. Totally. You have to give him access to see her and you need to be civil........nothing more.
I sincerely hope you do not start looking for another man to fill the void. I see too many badly abused children, even dead children, at the hand of boyfriends who have no stake in the child's welfare. In fact the child becomes an impediment to a new relationship. You are now the main protector of that child. Your needs come second to her emotional and physical need.
Cry into your pillow, we all have. But get up, wash your face and move on, but don't make the same mistake again.
2007-01-27 00:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by fluffernut 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal. He didn't steal your dreams away. It is up to you to dream and carry out those desires. Obviously, you are ambitious. You state you are still in school (I am assuming college) and working out. Those are very positive steps. Bottom line is no one wants to be on the end of the rejection stick. I's okay to feel anger toward someone, but it really is doing you nor your child any good. He may not be pretending - he may really be happy currently. You could be somewhat depressed as well. Just keep concentrating on you and your child and someone new is going to come along and love you both.
2007-01-27 00:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not sure what to say here,but I will give it a try. The way you feel sounds perfectly normal to me. Also their is one thing in your life that needs you; so hang in their. Some time people don't realize the affect these things can have on children. Maybe some professional help would be good right now. It shouldn't hurt. Good luck sweet heart.
2007-01-27 00:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Todd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely....it's good that you're working out and there for your daughter....you're not sitting around thinking about him, you're keeping busy. And YES it is ok to hate him. Just don't take it out on anyone else. Let him know how you feel and put it past you. If he's moved on, you should try to too. Once you meet someone new, it'll be easier to move on. Just resolve stuff and move on. I know it hurts, I've been there.....but TRUST me, when you lay the sh it on the table, it's much easier to move on and get rid of the hate and anger you have for this guy. Anger and hatred is poison in your body so resolve this ASAP and continue being your beautiful self, not only for you, but also for your daughter!
Good luck girl! He doesn't deserve you!
2007-01-27 00:19:16 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hate is not normal but instead all to common.
don't hate .
he did steal from you . he failed to marry you to honor you and to be faithful to you . that's a big deal
don't hate.
what you want is not so much him but instead what should have been and that is love marriage and a happy life.
i hope you find it with some man . lots of good guys in this world
don't go back to trying to fix this one he is busted as in busted your life and his and your child's is that the one that sounds right
i don't think so .
find love leave hate find hope and find accept Christ life wont be all better in one second but it wont fall apart in one second too
your life is on a good foundation if it were not it would have collapsed from this Storm .
be thrilled you have a child he Will love you for all time. you will love him for all time . Christ loves you as you are his child
and some where there may just be Mr good guy waiting around
in some shopping mall or under a tree just for you .
2007-01-27 00:25:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very normal. You just need to look deeper inside yourself to find the real reason for your emptiness, or loneliness...
Its not him you are missing so much, its the idea of him. Everything you expected of him and wanted him to be for you. You are broken inside because you haven't learned to fulfill your dreams for yourself. Remember that you have to be able to make yourself happy before anyone else can. Focus on how to be your number one fan and you'll be surprised how life will change for you!
2007-01-27 00:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Kass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound normal....he was a part of your life for almost 4 years...its going to take a little while for you to get used to NOT having him around. Also, though you may feel like you HATE him you probably don't. But, it does sound like he hurt you an awful lot and that will cause a great deal of anger, and bitterness. Again, NORMAL. Take some time for yourself, try to enjoy life, and get used to depending on yourself.
2007-01-27 00:18:17 · answer #8 · answered by weeewah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to get over someone hopefully you will find the love of your life and realize the guy who left you with a child was a jerk
good luck with rebuilding your life
2007-01-27 00:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by M S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say this but after reading this i saw my past.i did the same thing.i left my 1st.wife to go to someone else.she had our child 3mo. later.she hated me sooooo bad, at the same time she loved me.but it would have never worked we we're 2 different people .she wrote me a letter about how she felt and she felt i stole her dream of a happy family.it,s been 7yrs.we are just now on talking terms.7yrs.......my little girl has had to live thur that....i love her with all my heart.now my x is still hateing me.but life goes on....try to be cool with him for your child....his the father and if you live your life thur your childs eyes is hate what you want to see......i'm sorry to see another person going thur this ...good luck ...ED
2007-01-27 00:27:19 · answer #10 · answered by ED S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋