What do you love and hate about being a stay at home Mom?

Question

Also, how many kids are you home with and how long have you been home with them? Do you incorporate some form of money-making into your schedule (like home biz or computer work from home)?

I've been home w/ my baby for 8 months and I love being w/ him but hate feeling so left out of the "real world" and esp. hate the way I feel people look down on me for "doing nothing" all day. (Their perception, nowhere near reality!!!)

Just wondering how others do it and how they feel about it.

Answer 1

I used to be like you and felt that people looked down at me. I have two cousins who are total career hounds. They have no kids and are very, very ambitious. For a long time I allowed them to make me feel inferior because I stay home with my kids. I even had a girl I know tell me that she is just too ambitious to stay home. "I have too many goals." She implied that I must not because I stay at home. But I no longer feel that way at all. I know that what I do is important. I know that I'm not lazy. I know that I do much more than nothing all day. I also now feel sorry for those career hounds. They have to answer to a boss. They have a set schedule. I don't answer to anyone and my hours are flexible. In the summers I get to sit on the beach. In the winters I can stay home and not worry about driving through the snow to work. My time is my own. Why would you want anything less?

I have two kids, ages 6 & 4. I'm expecting baby number three in just a few weeks. We home school. We keep to a daily schedule to help us get things done but we are still flexible. I don't feel left out of the real world at all. How do you define the real world? I certainly don't think you have to sit behind a desk or work in an office to be part of the real world. I do volunteer work in the community. To try and bring in a little money I started selling some crafts at our local artisans' store and I also work there once a week. I also started my own business consulting busy moms with time management and healthier eating. Things are slow right now because I'm very pregnant and tired so I'm not really taking on clients. But that is my choice. I don't have a boss telling me I have to work. For a long time I was involved in community theatre. After this baby arrives I'm going to join Tae Kwon Do. Both my boys take it and I want to as well. You're only left out of the real world if you allow yourself to be. I don't feel that way at all.

I feel we're a very lucky family. My husband works shift work. So he is on for three days then off for three days. He is home a lot. The kids are home schooled so their schedule is flexible. I run my own business so my hours are flexible. I see these families who have to get up every morning and rush around so everyone can get to school and work. Then they're apart all day just to meet up later for dinner or to rush around to activities. I'm so glad that we are not like that. We get to do whatever we want when we want. When everyone else is at work and school we're shopping, having lunch, sitting on the beach, going to museums, etc. That is the way life should be.

Enjoy that you get to be home. Try to look at it in a positive way. You're LUCKY!! All those people who think you do nothing are just jealous.

Answer 2

I've been home from work since august of last year due to a on the job injury. I can not wait till I get back to work. I have a 7 yo girl and 4 and 2 yo boys. I love them to death but by the end of the night I'm ready to rip my hair out. My hubby works days fo it's nice that we can all be together for dinner since when I worked I was on swing shift. But I think that some people can handle things better then others. I had no problem when I was working but being around them all day and night day after day takes it toll. I feel bad because at some points I want to pack up and just leave. But I know that I could never live without them. Another thing that is hard is that our house is small we are getting ready to move to a bigger place so I know that will make a huge diffence. Stay at home moms have the best of both worlds it just takes a strong woman or man to make it without breaking down and cracking.

Answer 3

Boy can I relate! I have a 5 yr old who just started school and a 4 yr old. I have been a stay home mom for 5 yrs now and there is nothing I love more than my kids, however I really miss having the social aspect of a job. Baby talk and Toddler conversation are great but between them and the diapers and laundry and dishes and feedings and changings you really feel the need for adult conversation and intellect. I dont regret staying home as long as I have I am glad I could be there for them during these years. However I do think we as moms need time for us too, schedule a playdate that you can drop your baby off and maybe go do something for yourself. Go grab a latte or something at the coffee shop or get your hair or whatever done. Keep in contact with those you have worked with that you have a friendship with and do lunch or something. It will keep you in the loop ,give you a small break and make you feel better about your choice. You arent a bad mom for wanting that and you definitly can be a better mom when you feel good about yourself and what you are doing. YOu need a strong healthy mental attitude to be a good mom so when and if you feel you need more than by all means do it.

Answer 4

Im sure moms who work could be envious. IT goes both ways. SOme days I envy moms who arent putting up with the screaming and get to actually be an adult sometimes and get out in the world and be important to a company than just a family. Then there are the moms who are behind the desk with writers block just thinking about what they wish they could be making for lunch for their little one. The grass is never greener on the other side, so I wont hate moms for working or staying home. That would be immature. A question for those moms who work and hate SAHM's. Do you hate your child's day care provider? I would consider them a form of stay at home parents. Weather they be a parent or not. Some one has to take care of the kids.

Answer 5

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 9 week old. My last day of "work" was 11 days before the oldest was born.

I love knowing that the things they know are the things I've taught them.

I hate that when I do finally find time to go out without them there's always some point that I panic and look around for the kids before I realize I don't have them with me (kind of like if I move the car just in the driveway so my husband can get his car out, but I don't put on my seatbelt and it just feels weird).

My husband owns his own business, so I spend about 3 hours a month at home doing the books. I also dabble in ebay, mostly with finding clothes at the end of one season for about 90% off, holding them for 6 months then selling them for a small profit.

I've never personally encountered people looking down on me for staying at home, mostly because I tend to associate most with other SAHMs.

Answer 6

I have 3 children 3,5, and 11, and worked about 4 months when my first one was about 1. I couldn't stand it and have been home with them ever since. I just feel like when you work an 8 hour job that the sitter is raising the kids. My 1 1/2 year old neice cries for her sitter instead of her mother. It does kinda stink depending on my husband for money, but his money is our money. He wouldn't have it any other way. I used to worry about what other people thought, but I actually realized the only ones that have a problem with it are the ones who are really just jealous because they have to work. Being a stay at home mom can be stressful sometimes, but it is the best job there is. It's only a few years you will have your kids at home all day, so enjiy it while it lasts. You just have to go shopping or something sometimes to get a break. I have alot of women who ask how I do it, and that they had to work, because it was much easier to work than to be at home with kids all day. I'm thinking about having one more child, but worry what people think of me having 4 kids. I guess I am the one raising them, so it doesn't matter what they think. As for making money at home, I have no idea. Babysitting gets to stressful, and I haven't found any legit home buisnesses. Good Luck, and you may have to give up some luxuries to be able to afford to be home.

Answer 7

HI , yes this is a big question for SAHMS to answer. I am new to being a SAHM. i'm only 2 months into this. I have twin boys who just turned four. What I love is that I can see my son Jonathan smile, a really big smile and know why he smiled so big, and what made him so happy, and not just hear about his adventures second hand from my mother in law. Yes my mother in law helped me so much to watch my boys, but I noticed that I grew jealous of her closeness with my boys. Then I realized that that was not healthy. When they would spend a lot of time at my preschool later as well, I realized that I also missed being with them. I came to the decision to stay at home with them. Financially it was a big risk, but my husband just had mercy on me. That still is the nicest thing he's ever done for me was to let me be a stay at home mom. I do make a little money on the side by watching another set of identical twin boys two days a week at my home. That has been a positive thing for me though because I have a strong passion to help other twin families like myself. So, that opportunity just clicked for me. My boys are doing better with this arrangement also. For me what I hate about being a stay at home mom is that your day can be so vague. What to do today? When I worked the days were very clearly defined, but at home I have to make my own rules, and rules to govern my kids. So, this is something I'm working on. Im getting my sons started with helping me more around the house. I love that I can have a bigger impact in my sons' lives. This is why I am doing this to be a SAHM. I feel I can be proud of what I can accomplish in my sons. To anyone who might look down on me I would dare to ask them: what kind of relationship do you have with your children or are you a parent yet? Everyone has to do what they can live with at the end of the day. I came to a point where I couldn't live one more day with so many other people having a bigger role in my children's lives than me and I needed to stop everything, quit my job and do something about it!

Answer 8

GOOD ON U!!!!!!! more people should want to be with their babies rather than dump them in day care........i know what u mean about pepople making you feel bad for not doing anything but remeber what u are doing is very important.....what u are giving your child now will make him into a better person as an adult.....i know some people in some countries cannot stop working but u shouldnt feel bad for being a stay at home mum......i to am a stay at home mum......i have 1 son who is 22mths and i have started looking for some part timer work juat because i miss working and the feeling of independance it gives you and being in "the real world"....so in reply to you love and hate question i would have to say i love the fact that i am the one who is introducing my son to the world not some daycare teacher....that i havent missed out one things like 1st steps or 1st words and the wost thing is losing independance and the freedom to do spontaneous things ohh and SLEEPING IN but it is all worth it to have my little man by my side and close to my heart

Answer 9

I have 3 girls. They are 10 8 4. Not only am I a stay at home mom but I homeschool. What I love is watching my children grow up, teaching them new things, playing with them, noone else raising them, having help around the house and just being a mom.

What I hate is I am always home. By Saturday I am ready to get out of the house and see the world out there lol. Just a minor drawback to being a homemaker.

Answer 10

Well I have a 18 month old.. which I have been at home with him all day everyday since he was born... and I have a bun in the oven right now due May 2nd. So I love being able to be here to teach him everything he knows, to see each and every milestone he goes through, and to be able to just play and watch him grow.. not I hate not being able to go out and to get a job and just to get away once in awhile. I mean I love my son.. but sometimes i need me time and need to get away for awhile. I hate not really knowing whats going on and what the current events are sometimes. I don't work from home... I haven't found a good computer work from home job.. which I have been looking for ever.. paid survey are not going good here with me. I am glad i haven't found anyone who looks down on me for staying home.. but its not like you don't do anything all day.. you take care of your child.. that is a full time job.. let them take care of a child 24/7 and let them tell you they did nothing all day. That will be a laugh. I do miss working and being able to interact more with adults... but in the long run I love it more than anything and really wouldn't change it for any reason