me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months and we have gone as far as i feel comfortable going. He obviously wants to go farther but i wont give it to him and he knows because we have talked about it once before. He asks when we hookup but i continuously say no. He likes me a lot for me not just action but this annoys me sometimes...what can i do that will substitute and give him the satisfaction of going farther without being sexual?
2007-01-26 16:02:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You it it right on the head - you have gone as far as you are comfortable with. Guys will always try to push the boundaries just to see how far they can get. If he is realy persistent, tell him in no uncertain terms that this is what you are comfortable with now. If he leaves, he was never worthy of you to begin with, I swear! Never do ANYTHING you are not 100% comfortable with or you will regret it! Good luck!
2007-01-26 16:09:25 · answer #1 · answered by TheAnswerChicks 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have been on the planet for years; you know what you like and don't like. "The relationship" with your boyfriend has only been on the planet for..."TWO MONTHS"!
Now go figure! On the idea of being "sexual"; Who has total control in "The Permission Department"? And The Answer Is..."YOU DO"!
The relationship in which your boyfriend seems to have total domination over you is demonstrated in the fact of your own statements of apparent fear of him on your part on this subject. Listen to yourself..."we have gone as far as i feel comfortable going"., "i wont give it to him", "he knows because we have talked about it once before". "i continuously say no.". "this annoys me".
Being sexual is a wonderful thing when it is given and received freely in love. For most of us there is no substitute except abstanance until "you" are truly ready. Present and future satisfaction for him will come in his knowing that you are saving yourself for "Mr. Right".
He may not be, or he is not, the one for you. How do I know this? Because, you state "He likes me a lot for me". You do not say that "you like him a lot" in this very important question you are asking, ...which is a very good thing because this is what sincere and intelligent people. like yourself do, when they are confronted with tough life issues like this one is.
With just the little information you have given (and I maybe wrong) here is my conclusion. 1. Show him some or all of the responces you are getting back. 2. Distance yourself from him for a while. 3.Talk to others (adults) you can trust. Get their take and thoughts on this. If he will not change (and wait for you) in a short period of time (like today) then you will have to be the one to break off the two month relationship. You will then become your old self and be "Fear Free".
Oh! By the way, instilling fear in others is a cheap bully tatic...and its illegal.
I'll be thinking of you in the next few days knowing you are going to fix this.
Bless you, Ed
2007-01-26 17:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that there is nothing better than frontal comunication. Just tell him that even though you know that he likes you for you and not just for your physical attraction, you would appreciate if he stopped bringing up the "going further" subject everytime you get together. The way he reacts will tell you a lot about the kind of guys he really is and what he really wants. because, trust me, 2 months is not nearly enough to know a person's true intentions.
2007-01-26 16:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's up to what you believe in, but in my case, all my life I tried to stay a virgin which is very unussual for a woman at the age of 35 and not until I found the person I thought my right partner but when he got me eventhough we had talked about it, he promised me of marriage, etc., after a few months he changed and I was pregnant. Due to emotional stress and other health complications I lost the baby but before I lost it he was urging me to abort it but I didn't want to until he kept distance from me and while I was in terrible misery he was dating other women and never even asked abotu my situation. So the decision is yours.
2007-01-26 16:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Macerb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want to go any further then there is no further. tell him how annoying it is that he keeps asking and knowing the end result is going to be no. stick to your guns, this guy is not respecting you for you if he continues to ask for it. There isn't much more you can do. You could do oral, but that is still sex, so there isn't anything really that you could do. Don't belittle yourself just to make him happy. This is your life and he should be happy with your decisions and respect them. It's all about you and your life not his! Good luck!
2007-01-26 16:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by lil' miss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really truly cares about you, he wouldn't be continuously asking you to have sex with him. A no is a no and he should respect your decision. Whatever you do, don't give in to his demands. If he proceeds to beg you to do things you aren't comfortable with, I recommend dumping him because whether or not you'd like to believe the truth, it seems as though he wants you for one thing and one thing only. Good luck.
2007-01-26 16:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by Desiree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babe, if he really likes you, he will be satisfied just by whatever you do. Try not to worry so much about it and just enjoy the time you have with him. This relationship is not that long yet, get to know him and let him know better about you to (and I'm not talking about sex), talk, go out, have fun and enjoy ;D
2007-01-26 16:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by kramellou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! means no. Simple as that, you don't need to explain to him
all these things. only give it to the right person. If he can wait for that day, Then he's the right man for you. Nobody should pressure you for it unless you want to .......
2007-01-26 16:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by jsAZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can let him know that you are not ready to take this further
since you have only know each other for a short time, you dont
have rush it, and if he has a problem with how you feel then
trust me he not the one for you.
2007-01-26 16:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we waited for 2yrs and 3 months before having sex...our first time was incredible and worth waiting for....
2007-01-26 16:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋