IS it good to pretend your happy all the time even if you know its not true?

Question

So I've always read that being happy on the outside presents a good sign of confidence to others, and all that good stuff. But what if I'm sick of pretending... because I'm not really happy...

And ahead of time, thanks for the laugh from responses like, "get a life" and "stop whining".

Answer 1

The issue here is the 'PRETENDING ALL THE TIME.' Yes, psychologists, schools of etiquette, personality development seminars and others preaching good human relations prescribe that we, as individuals, always start the day with a happy face, smile whenever you can and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

I think, however, that it should not be ALL THE TIME because others say to 'leave your skeletons (loneliness, desperation, disappointment, frustration, etc.) behind when you leave home' so that means at home, with your loved ones, with friends, with sincere people who can emphatize or with God, you can stop pretending and frown, cry out loud. But as soon as your boss or client walks in, smile like you just won a lottery.

Answer 2

You should not feel like you have to act happy to come across as confident because you can actually be coming off as upset and people think that you are faking being happy. It really isn't good for your health and emotions to pretend to feel happy when you really feel another way. You can exhaust yourself from pretending and your emotions can get mixed up and confused. If you want to come off as more confident you should just be yourself because the way you actually feel will make you feel confident because you know that you don't have to be something you're not. And besides, the way you actually feel can make people think that you're confident but how will you know until you try?

Answer 3

As a mental health practitioner with 20+ years experience, now retired, I can tell you that what you're doing is a wonderful prescription for insanity, ulcers and heart attack, to name just a few. If you keep it up, you can have all sorts of psychosomatic illnesses that can get you hospitalized and dead. If you take our answers seriously, and I recommend you do, you'll follow startrektosnewenterprisel's answer and seek counseling. Obviously, if I'm reading your question correctly, you've been doing this for quite a while, and so you need some professional guidance in the best ways to change your course of life so that you won't go nuts in the meantime, as Bojangles suggests. If you want to see some of the potential psychosomatic illnesses you can get, go get a copy of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) of Mental Disorders, and have a look. And realize, they cover only a portion of said possibilities, so you can have all sorts of problems that they haven't included in their huge manual. In the meantime, take our recommendation and go get counseling. Even if you don't go nuts or die from some psychologically imposed illness, I can guarantee you that you're not someone people like to be around. People can sense the psychological pressure that you're trying to deny, and it doesn't feel good to them, even though, they, too, have learned to try to smile and sound happy around you when they wish you'd go get help. Trust me on this one. God Bless you.

Answer 4

It really isn't healthy to pretend to be happy. The more you pretend (at least this is true for me), the more you feel like your real self is shrinking and whithering inside a fake, falsely happy, plastic shell. Eventually, there will be nothing left to hold this shell up and it will crack, and there goes the real, depressed, unahppy you, puddling up on the floor or bursting out at random, innocent bystanders. I find that sitting alone in my room at night and pondering my own miseries gets my being sad out of my system so I can be actually happy, or at least not upset, while I'm around my friends. If being happy all the time gets to be too much, just go mope somewhere later. Balance is the key, like yin and yang; you have to have good and bad in equal proportions to remain stable. Too much of one side and your whole person will eventually shift suddenly, dramatically, and unhealthily in the opposite direction to make up for the lack of balance. It's like internal karma.

Answer 5

No cause it will lead to ulcers. You need to vent sometimes. Everybody does. It is not a sign of confidence to present happy all the time. It is a sign of passivity and potential weakness. Think about people who you consider confident. Are they the people who are walking around smiling all day, saying everything is fine or are they the people who aren't afraid to speak their mind cause they don't really care what anyone thinks.

Answer 6

its not bad to pretend you being happy.. but u have to do some thing, materalize it, work towards it to bring in the real happinss...for example if a son in the family is borrwing money to get gifts for christmas to make his family happy and he also pretends to be happy.. he should some how find ways to keep this happiness going on for more.. find the ways to restore it through hard work, work out if misunderstandings happen between relations, speak out your heart and keep happiness besides you..that will be your moral boost to come up in life.. all the best

Answer 7

Emotions and feelings are natural to everybody. How seriously they take depends upon the attitude, bringing up, at times genes and the total personality. While we cannot change ones own personality, the expression of feelings in words, facial felings and actions can be controlled for social palatability. It can be practised wantenly, not the emotions as such but their expression on us. Anger, grief, insult, dissatisfaction, disliking, hatred etc are same to everybody but as explained, different people react in different ways, 0 to 100% explicitly. The more we can control the better for us. Then we have to make a vent for such suppressed feelings wantenly at designated place, time, manner. If it is not naturally comming, then we have to practise the controlling for our good. Some measures in aptitude correction, life-style change etc will help. Certain tips: a. Do not take every event seriously to the heart. b. Everybody's behavior need not suit our thinking. c. We need not necessarily be understood positively by others. d. Look at the good points always, express them, totally ignoring bad things in others always. e. Remember, you cannot change anything in anybody to suit you and therefore you have to change yourself. f. Be natural in your responses positively then everybody likes you. g. Never express any bad in others atleast outsiders, if it comes to that by force, keep silent and smile. Please try this formula for one month and revise/refine further gradually. Maintain quantitative data for comparison.

Answer 8

trying to pretend your happy all the time can get really annoying believe me beeen there done that...it's not human to be happy all the time so be happy when you are and when your not, then your not but there is a way of presenting yourself when your not happy...your going to feel much better if you just stop pretending

Answer 9

wow, sometimes that happens to me... Im pretty good about acting my mood and hiding my emotions, its easy for me. But I know, that isnt good, and sometimes i keep doing it. If you keep hiding your emotions, you get sick emotionally talking, and at any moment, you will just explode and send flying all those torpedo-issues you were hiding.... and you will get depressed and crying stuff. So its better to talk with someone you trust (a really close friend, sister, etc...) about your problems, and that way, you will get rid of all of those issues without exploding... and you will feel better and you'll not need to pretend anymore, happines will come naturally!!!

Answer 10

Bottling it all up is bad,you should find a way to express yourself healthily. I found mine; Writing and drawing. Some people like to run for hours,some put in on paper,some be angry and take it out on innocent people. Find yours. It helps when the times get hard.

To answer straight out: No. If the people around you can't accept you on your bad AND good days,then get new friends. I found mine.