How do I approach my mother in law about how she "tries" to raise my kids?

Question

I appreciate people helping me or giving their opinions, but when it comes 2 my kids, thats where I draw the line. My mother in law babysat our kids tonight so my hubby & I could go out & have a date night 2 try & re-kindle our relationship. I laid out my 22 mo old son's dinner (hes on a certain diet because he suffers from constipation) & I showed her where my 7 mo old daughters babyfood was if she was hungry. I dont give my son too much sugar, hes ornery enough without it. I dont give my daughter any either. She told me 2 get them 2 eat, she put a lil sugar in their food. I was appalled! If they arent hungry, I dont bribe them with sugary foods. She even gave my son a sucker. Its almost bedtime & now hes bouncing off the walls! Just a tiny bit & hes wired. She claimed my daughter was cold yet she took off her socks! I had cleaned my house from top 2 bottom & she made a huge mess in the kitchen. With food all over the mopped floor. She didnt put their diapers on tight enough & they...

were almost hanging off. When I tightened them, she told me I was doing it wrong & it would hurt them. She pulled my daughters baby swing out of the corner where we keep it into the middle of the room & there is no room 2 walk. I know somethings she does are small, but when I tried 2 talk 2 her, she got offended & told me she should be able 2 do what she wants because "shes grandma". How do I talk 2 her about this? I told her thanks for watching them, but she knows about my sons constipation problem & she feeds him what she was eating (some potato casserole or something really starchy). Does she do it just to spite me? I dont want to hurt her feelings but they are my kids, not hers.

Answer 1

It's nice that grandma watches the kids for you,but she should follow your instructions. You are the Mom,that makes you the authority. If grandma doesn't want to go with the plan you'll have to find someone who will.
The first person you have to speak to is your husband. It"s important that you both let Mom know how you feel. Don't let her think she can play him against you.It may create a problem at first,but your kids health is worth the fight. Good Luck

Answer 2

Honestly, I don't think she did it to spite you, I think she felt she had the right to how to raise your kids because they are her grandchildren too. I have that same problem with my mother in-law, only my son is only 5 months old so there's nothing much she can do now. I don't know though later if he's two and we ask her to babysit while we go out, most likely she'll meddle a lot. I totally understand how you feel, if you tell her how upset you are, she might even think you're ungrateful after all the babysitting she does. So far I never follow my mother in-law's advice (she even told me what brand of milk to give to my son!) and my husband agrees that when it comes to our child, the only people who can have a say is me & him. Anyway, you can't please everybody, even if you ask your husband to talk to his mother, she'll still feel upset & offended about it. So just think about your children & what's best for them and do exactly that despite what your mother in-law thinks what's good.