I worry about my parents opinion of me and it gives me anxiety?

Question

I am not a child I am 29, and I hate the fact that my parents opinion causes me anxiety. I allow what they may say effect my decisions. I have finally come to a place where I will no longer allow my insecurites and my parents control me but I am planning to move and I know they will try to stop me and I am afarid I will curse at them and get angry with them for being so insecure and trying to control me it makes me so angry I hate it so much my father is the worst he is a control freak he'll go so far as to cry and everything like a baby just to try and get me to do what he thinks I should do. Honestly sometimes really hate him a lot. I wish I did not have these feelings but I do? what should I do?

Answer 1

shine it on! don't care about what people think of u especially your parents. they are just people not gods

Answer 2

You're 29. You should have moved out years ago. It's not natural to still be living with your parents.

You KNOW that they are manipulative and controlling. So, why do you feel bad when your father cries just to get his way? Why do you respect their opinion of you when they think you should be living with them at the age of 29? Obviously their idea of how you should be is NOT what most people would think is healthy, normal, or respectable.

Quietly make your living arrangements elsewhere-- call around for apartments, sign the contract on one, etc. Then tell your parents you are moving out and just GO. Don't let all their yelling, tears, and manipulation break your resolve. You can't live there until you're 60. How else will you get away?

It really would be better if you could be honest and go through the process of finding an apartment in the open, trying to convince your parents this is the right decision, but you sound like you might not have the resolve to go that road. It is the better one, but the harder one as well, and you don't sound like you have the emotional maturity or strength to reach your goal if you take that path.

Whatever you do, DON'T lose your cool and get angry or curse. You already know how they will act. When they do so, just stand there calmly, like a mature adult, and state quietly what you have to say. Once you've said it, stay quiet and let them bawl their fool heads off. Then you can calmly restate whatever you think the most important point was. Don't be afraid to wait a long time in silence while your parents calm down from their tantrums.

They will look back on your day of moving out with RESPECT if it ends with you leaving like a mature adult instead of in anger and tears like a child. This day must come, and believe me, they will have a better opinion of you in the long run if you stand your ground like a mature adult than if you bend to their manipulation and get upset like a child.

Answer 3

i am 29...divorced bacause my exwifes parents wanted to run her life...they did not encourage her or boost her self esteem or self confidence...they made her feel guilty about wanting to have a life away from them....my ex is now 27 and twice divorced pretty much unable to make important decisions about anything in her life...she made a couple suicide attempts and spent many weeks under observation in a mental hospital....all of the therapy and counseling did no good...she was diagnosed with chronic major depressive disorder with psychosis, borderline personality disorder and anxiety. she had no self esteem or self confidence because she could never make her parents happy. she always worried about what they would think of her actions and they never approved and always criticized. she is an adult child...unable to handle any kind of stress. ALL of the counselors blamed her controlling parents on her conditions...her mom called her everyday to criticize and insult our marriage and criticize her mothering abilities....i feel sorry for my exwife...i still love her.....but she can never be the wife i need....this will be you if you let things stay the same in your situation....you will never have a family.... you will never have any self confidence.... you will NEVER be able to please your parents

Answer 4

Believe me i have the same problem sometimes, but usally not to your extreme. You are an adult now and you and your parents should be able to talk at an adult level. Your parents should respect your opinion because you're their daughter. Talk to them in a respecful manner and don't lose your cool. As for your father, just tell him not to cry and that you will keep in contact with them if you move. He should not be acting like that in front of his daughter. Best of luck.

Answer 5

i've been in your shoes, i know how you feel. i am the oldest of 3, my parents are no more. family who try to control you are so afraid that you will do better than they did in their life time.you gotta look at life like this, i gotta learn as did my parents, as long as you don't get up with the wrong crowd, take care of yourself. and please do not trust everybody that you met. the anxiet, that's cause your parents are smoothing you.

Answer 6

You are a grown woman. If you do not want to hear what they have to say, move out. If you don't want to follow their rule, move out. If and when you do move out, if you do not want to hear what they have to say, purchase a phone with caller id services and when you see it is them phoning you, simply ignore the call. You are way past the time of moving out of Mommie and Daddie's place.

Answer 7

Seek counselling.

Answer 8

take a dump on their bed

Answer 9

it time to develope a strong opinion of your self,live for your selves,see if you living please your parents or yourself.