How is a good way to deal with disgusting homophobic parents who won't let their child live as who they are?

Question

Let's say you're living in your parent's home and they're homophobic. They don't allow you to live as who you are. This behavior is obviously stupid and idiotic in so many way and there isn't much a child can do about it. The child already has enough to put up with, dealing with every other stupid homophobic behavior out there. But in this case, they can't really walk away from it or get away from it because they must live in their parents house. What really can the child do? Homophobia is stupid and needs to be attacked once in for all. How can we punish these stupid parents?

Answer 1

i can understand a bit where you are coming from atleast a little bit...email at [e-mail] and i will explain. maybe if you understand my situation alitte (which is to personal to post here), i can offer better advice! but here are some things i found for you that may offer you some support.
http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/phpnews/news.php?action=fullnews&id=91
Homophobic Parents won't stop me being who I am

Homepage > Real Life Stories >Homophobic Parents won't stop me being who I amSo here’s me. a 16-year-old bisexual musician. Happy with who she is, but afraid to tell her family because they are all homophobic.




Parents. They tell you your whole lives that whatever you do and whoever you are they will be happy for you. So here’s me a 16-year-old bisexual musician. Happy with who she is, but afraid to tell her family because they are all homophobic. This, you may agree is wrong. And you might say that I shouldn't bottle it up and keep things from my family, and that it will be better in the long run. But this does not change the fact that every time a LGBT person is in the news or on television, I am told that I am not allowed to read the article or watch it on the television. Why? Because my family believe that if we were meant to be LGBT then God would have made us that way. Which I think is complete rubbish. But of course every time I try to stand up for anything to do with LGBT people, I am told that I am too naive to understand what’s really going on and that my opinion doesn't count.

I think I am going to be forced to go through life like this because I am too scared to admit to who I really am. One day I will do something. But not just yet. In the mean time I am just going to have to carry on like this. But living like this will not change my beliefs in what I, and others around me are. We are normal; despite what we are taught and no matter how many times we are told to change our ways we don't, because our generation is a very headstrong one, that knows what it wants. People of an older generation may think we are loud and ignorant, but did they ever stop to think this is the only way we can get our message across? No. It is not only our parents and people of older generations that are like this; our peers are just the same. They have been brought up to think that we are freaks and abnormal. Children are bullied for being honest and trying to be happy. This must come to a stop now before it is too late. No matter how many times we are told to stop, and be quiet because we ‘don't understand’. We must carry on until homophobia is stopped. Everywhere.

Article written by 'bi_punk' [e-mail]

http://www.donshewey.com/1997_zine/homophobia.html

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/homophobia.html

http://www1.umn.edu/humanrts/edumat/hreduseries/TB3/act7/act7f.html

http://www.humboldt.edu/~essays/morgan.html

http://womens-studies.osu.edu/peerpower/prhomophobia.cfm

http://www.aclu-sc.org/News/Releases/2001/100165/
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Acceptance-Parents-Lesbians-Experiences/dp/0312167814

http://www.endhomophobia.org/homophobia.htm

i hope these resources help you, but like i said email me.

Answer 2

Try as we might, there is no sure way that we can try to rid people of their homophobia. A few people can eventually understand whats up even if they were strongly homophobic before. But as for the head strong ones, i really don't think there is an answer. Many factors go into this problem. It depends on their life expiriences, or how they were raised. Although many times parents are unsupportive of their childs orientation, there is really nothing we can do about it. The only thing that will give us hope is that if they love their child, sometime in the future they will learn to accept their kid for you they are.

Answer 3

Homophobia is not stupid.
Trust me- if these parents were straight, they might act the same controling way. There just want their child to take on their personalities or do something successful like them or like they never had. Any parent can be like this- homophobic or straight. So shut up that homophobics are stupid. I'm even straight and I think that what you said is disgraceful and it actually hurts me a lot. Why would you make fun of people that are gay for no damn reason? Its their personality. What if people bullied you because you liked the "'weirdest' girl/guy in school"? That would hurt a lot because maybe you'd like the person so much and/or is keeping you alive (emotionally).

Answer 4

Being angry isn't going to help this situation. I don't know how old you are, but you will get old enough to get a job and make enough money to move out. It just takes time and you need to be a bit patient. I know it is hard to live with people that don't accept you for who you really are, but you can't force them to change...it won't work and it will make you miserable. You have to accept that they don't accept you as you are. There is no suitable "punishment" and you need to move past those thoughts anger and hate only breed problems for the person that is harboring them. Try this one: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the ability to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.

Answer 5

I can only assume from what you are saying is that the child in question is still under 18yrs age, but old enough to be aware of their own sexuality in being homosexual. Nothing at all wrong with that,
Lets take away the word homosexual & replace it with rebellious teenager. Iam not calling homosexuals anything, just paraphrasing for the sake of the discussion. So this person is a rebellious teenager. They do everything that their parents don't want them to do i.e lie, cheat ,steal & generally make living in the home hell. People who live together must have general household rules in every family. If a member of the family is being utterly offensive & not abiding by the rules that everyone else has to , then they have a choice. Live by the rules or find somewhere else to live. Now in this case there is a homosexual person who lives with their parents. Their parents do not condone such behaviour, regardless of whether they understand their childs homosexuality ,or are just plain ignorant , the fact is they do not agree with it. So if the child wants to express his sexuality then he must find somewhere else to live. If he is not in a financial position to support himself then he must respect his parents wishs & not flaunt his sexuality in that household. It is his parents house, their rules. When he gets his own place he can make the rules, its really not that hard to understand.

Answer 6

The parents do not need to be punished. The childs need to come to terms with who they are, be pround of who they are, and start enjoying thier life without looking for acceptance from other who may not approve.

Answer 7

i don't think the answer is to punish them. i think the answer is to be persistant and show them that no matter what they do or say, you are who you are and can't change it and can't help it.

i would suggest talking to your mother first, alone.