The other night my best friends little sister who is 23 and I 27, were watch a movie at my place together. We’ve known, argued and played pranks on each other since childhood. My house is very big and creepy at night. Long story short I got a dim-witted idea to pull a prank on her (like we always do!), by scaring her once she got back from my bathroom. So when she was walking down the darkened hall I jump out and scared the crap out of her! She punched me in the chest and stormed off. I laughed, thinking it was funny at the time…until I followed her into the living room and realized she was crying really badly. Sitting her on my lap I stroked her back and hair, telling her I was soooo sorry. I was extremely SHOCKED because she NEVER cries! Well not when anyone is watching. Since she was a little girl she has always had this (I’m beautiful, smart, successful, I don’t need anyone) tough girl façade. Well I posted a previous question relating to this the other day…I got a lot of good answer. However everybody told me to talk to her and find out why she was really crying but to be honest I don’t know how to go about it. Every time I ask her why, she tells me without making eye contact “I don’t know.” And tries to change the subject…we both know that there was another major reason for her crying but she won’t say. I really do care about her… I know she’s not angry with me…and I could pressure her into telling me but I don’t want to make her cry once more. She seems to be unusually vulnerable from the other night.
How do I get her to open up to me, and tell me the truth, without making things worse?
2007-01-26 15:35:33 · 24 answers · asked by amesB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have asked this question before and would like some more opinions before I do anything…so if you have already answer please don’t comment unless you have some thing useful to say. OH she’s in town for the next few weeks and is staying with me.
2007-01-26 15:37:19 · update #1
Firstly i think its really nice that you care for her so much. If she is staying with you for a while then maybe just spending time with her will get her to open up to you. She may show a tough girl exterior, but normally it is used to hide feelings, and its incredibly hard to let it drop and tell sum one wats wrong and how you feel. Carry on how you are, let her gain trust in you, she will appreciate it. Hope it all works out
2007-01-27 03:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by pinkpetal86 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go along with that she has a soft spot for u, being u have know each other a long time played pranks etc. Your adults now and instead of jumping out on her u should have been telling her how u really feel this way she would then open up 2 u. See girls/women cannot handle rejection. Take her out telling her that u care for her and want the best and she can always count on u to listen whatever the problem is. GoodLuck
2007-01-27 14:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mary l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes things that happen can trigger a response in us that surprises us females, and we don't always know the reason why. You've already apologized and made every effort to make things right with her. I was married to an emotionally and verbally abusive ex-husband and I didn't realize how deeply this had affected me until a few nights ago when my fiance said something to me when he saw me crying, and it upset me a lot. I too, pride myself on being a tough girl and I rarely cry. Heck, I even barely shed a tear when my parents and brother died because I was trying to "keep it together". I didn't know why my fiance's comment upset me so much, but then with time, it gradually dawned on me that it had to do with things my ex-husband had said and done to me, and while my fiance is polar opposites of my ex (thankfully), the comment he made triggered an unpleasant response in me.
My advice is to just keep being supportive of this girl, let her know that you really care about her and that you are so sorry. Let her know that you understand that she may not know why she reacted the way she did, but that it's okay and that you just want her to know that you value her as a person and a friend and you will always be there for her if she ever needs you to be. I think that is all you can do. Good luck.
2007-01-26 23:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Are you that dim-witted really? She likes you, for heaven's sake! You look at her like a little sister and jump out and scream boo at her and she may very well have much stronger feelings for you and didn't appreciate the prank. Why are you being so insistent that she bare her soul to you. Do you want her to humble herself further by admitting that she's secretly in love with you or that the scare took her back to some deep dark trauma in her past? Forget that. She's not going to allow herself to become that vulnerable again to someone who plays pranks on her. What do you want from your relationship with this girl. If you want more than a sibling relationship, sit her down and apologize for being an immature idiot and open up to her about how YOU feel. Maybe it's your turn to be vulnerable. If you only want to be friends, then apologize for being the idiot and let her know that you appreciate her friendship and don't want to do anything to jeopardize it and leave it at that. She'll get your message loud and clear.
2007-01-26 23:48:47 · answer #4 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
sounds like you guys are really into each other. she likes/loves you and vice versa. so it's time to put it out there. your sorry your a jerk, you tease her because you like her and realize that you haven't made the transition from her growing up into a woman very well. can you still be friends if she's not into you like you her. put it all on you and she'll open up. tell her your the dumb *** and you were wrong and your sorry and if she wants you'll never prank her again. you don't want to lose her friendship cause she means so much to you. give her a hug. not just the kind a friend does but a full bodied one where you are rubbing/carressing her back her hair. end it with your hands cupping her cheeks and a forehead kiss were you lips linger just a little longer than necessary. tell her when and if she wants to talk your available. if not no pressure your still going to be in her life.
2007-01-26 23:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by sunshyne 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm currently dealing with somebody who frequently gives "I don't know" as an answer. I can tell first off that you need patience and really pay attention to what she says and her actions. This may take time but she will open up eventually. Try writing her a letter/email to let her know how this situation makes you feel and give her the OPTION of responding. If she doesn't then just wait a little longer. It'll come out eventually.
2007-01-26 23:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Cool Breeze 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would simply tell her that you were only playing a prank, that you didn't mean to scare her, and that you care alot for her. Tell her that it hurt you to see her crying like that and you would like to help her through whatever it is that bothered her so bad. Maybe something similiar happened to her before and it just brings up bad memories. Maybe she thinks that you 2 are too old for stuff like that now and in her eyes, you were just being mean. I would definately try to find out though if your friendship is that important to you.
2007-01-26 23:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by shortshooter04 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she loves you, but she's scared to tell you, cause she's not sure what your actions will be.
She loves spending time with you and you love spending time with her too.
It's difficult to love or care for someone and not being able to tell that person.
She cries alot so that you can comfort her and let her know that you care.
I think you should tell her how you feel, cause women like men to make the first move.
Good luck.
2007-01-27 12:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Playful~Beauty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to be patient with her and just keep trying to work out what happened to make her cry even thou you know that it wasnt the prank that you pulled. She has known you forever and she might think that you will think the reason she got upset is silly hope tht helps
2007-01-27 04:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anne J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you did was cruel in the extreme. People each year die of fright when some lunkhead jumps out of nowhere and scares them literally to death. You scare her and she is crying out of fear and remembrance of the cruel thing you did. Anyone who tells you to talk to her does not understand the consequences of fear - and that is usually teens and twenty somethings who find comfort in bloody, massacre, horror films. Stop compounding the cruelty by insisting that she tell you why she was crying. Duh.
2007-01-27 00:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋