What are the initiation rites?
2007-01-26 15:16:08 · 14 answers · asked by Aspurtaime Dog Sneeze 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
it is called hoffism, and the initation rites consist of putting your right hand on his album, titled "hooked on a feeling," holding your left hand in the air, palm out, and saying the words: "david hasselhoff is a respectable musician, and night rider was a decent enough show." upon speaking these words, god will immediately cast your soul into hell, where hasselhoff rules, for speaking such horrendous lies. you will then become one with the hoff. in his spiritual domain, you must give him foot rubs on the hour and tell him how he really brought a lot of admiration and respect toward lifeguards all over the world, or he will force you listen to live versions of songs such as, "highway to your heart," or "flying on the wings of tenderness."
i'd much rather be a christian.
2007-01-26 15:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by ccr152 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hasselhoffers
2007-01-26 23:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by Mike H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hasselhoffians. If you want a personal relationship with David Hasselhoff, I recommend you start by watching the entire Knight Rider series. It's way cooler than Baywatch, and K.I.T.T. is a very revered prophet. The Bible stole its idea of a talking bush from Knight Rider's talking car.
2007-01-26 23:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by Lee Harvey Wallbanger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The First Church of Orthodontist, Reformed. Also known as the "Boobitarians."
To become a member, you have to smear yourself with Crest toothpaste, clutch your talking K.I.T.T., and watch reruns of "Bay Watch" until your liver explodes.
Which usually takes somewhere between .03 and 1.2 seconds, depending on your brain's jiggle tolerance.
2007-01-26 23:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by Wolfeblayde 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kitism. Don't know the initiation rites; sorry.
Hi, buddy!
2007-01-26 23:21:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boobsism
2007-01-26 23:24:58 · answer #6 · answered by coffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hoffism... It's practice by middle aged German women known as Hoffists.
2007-01-26 23:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by Furibundus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Germans.
2007-01-26 23:19:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Kitians.
Talk to your car for 24 hours straight.
2007-01-26 23:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Tony C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grosse!
2007-01-26 23:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by Evil Atheist Conspirator 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋