That happened to me. This family member didnt' give a crap about my bounderies. So I told him to stay out of my life. Now I am second guessing myself. He doens't see a problem... am I making this up? He thinks I am being a witch... am I over exagerating.. do I really have a valid point? How can I believe in myself in this situation....? I am pretty sure I did the right thing. In my heart I feel relief that I don't have to deal with him any more. But I feel like a witch.. why should I feel like that.. when he is the one that can't stop something that hurts my feelings when I ask... why should I be the one feeling bad? How do I stand by myself on this one?
2007-01-26 15:11:20 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have four of five siblings left alive and I don't talk to a single one of them. I'm not carrying a grudge. I just want peace in my life. I wish them well. I pray for them when they come to mind. I just refuse to be abused verbally and emotionally. I will not allow them to bring the abusive voice of our mother from the grave to haunt me! That's what they do. They will never change. I have learned to understand my mother's abusive ways to have been a sickness that made our family dysfunctional. She did what she was able to do for us, but her mental illness almost destroyed me. I have survived that. I won't relive it.
In the meantime, God has given me a beautiful son, now grown, and a sister outside the family. A friend that is closer than I ever was to a single sibling. We have now loved each other as sisters for longer than we were alive before we met! Her children are my neices. My son is her nephew.
Pray for peace. God will provide your every need.
Stay away from toxic people. That is no more wrong than refusing to eat poison!
2007-01-26 15:28:03 · answer #1 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
respect is a two way street - but it starts with you and goes out.
if it is something you have set as a boundary and they don;t respect it - then you have every right to write them out of your life - no matter who they are.
I think he would be a controller so naturally he would say the problem is you and not him.
violating your boundaries is a form of dis-respect - they are saying what you want does not matter.
any name he calls you is a form of blackmail to get you to do as he wants. Stand your ground and stay away from him
If you were a witch - he would already be the toad he really is.
2007-01-26 23:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by earnest b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this person is only trying to manipulate you with guilt, because they don't have enough respect for themself to be able to respect you and your boundaries....
boundaries are absolutely important in maintaining healthy, constructive relationships, so do not second guess yourself, you are not a witch, just human, and kudos to you for sticking to your guns, never be afraid to stand firm....it could be years before this individual recognizes their own personal issues and own up to their responsibility to make some changes, etc, don't waste your life feeling bad, that's what he's hoping for because he wants to have the control back.......to bad so sad for him, he needs to seriously grow up....
2007-01-26 23:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you feel like that because a manipulative person is making you feel like that. people always let their family walk all over them. would you be friends with someone who treated you badly if you were just friends and not related? my advice is check out some Dr.Phil books, he's the best!
2007-01-26 23:23:00 · answer #4 · answered by bellatrix27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them to bite you, you refuse to budge an inch.
2007-01-27 00:22:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be strong set the boudaries, then don't give an inch, even to Sean
2007-01-26 23:16:34 · answer #6 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋