Okay, I like this guy that I work with and he likes me also. However, about 8 months ago he walked in on his wife cheating on him with one of his good friends. They seperated and he filed the divorce papers about 4 months ago. His divorce has been final now for about 1 month. Also, they have 2 kids that they are sharing custody over. I really, really, really want to date this guy, but I'm afraid it might be too early for him considering how his marriage ended. I know he likes me because everybody tells me. I also know by the way he always smiles when he looks and talks to me. Right now we are basically good friends who flirt a lot. We take our breaks together and for Christmas he got me a single red rose. I gave him an 8 x 10 blown up picture of his kids and framed it. I just don't know what to do. I realized I liked him about a few weeks after him and his wife seperated, so I've had feelings for him for months. What should I do? Please help.
2007-01-26 14:53:34 · 10 answers · asked by Xtina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best relationships start out as friendships first. Tell him you would like to get to know him better and you would like to develope a good friendship with him while he is recovering from his divorce, but you care enough about him that you do not want to be the rebound girl. He should respect this. Then start hanging out as friends and see where it goes... after a few months if you still really like each other and you have waited then you can be sure that there is a good friendship there to build on and you will build more respect for each other in the process. Most importantly, have fun! He certainly needs it right now.
2007-02-03 13:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by drjen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you must look at the entire picture, and not just base your decision on your feelings.
If this man were a newly single man, then head on over and ask him! However, there are fragile children involved.
Do you have children of your own? Could you live your life with a man and share it with his children whom he had with his (now ex) wife?
Are you a child of divorce? Ask friends about growing up with a step-parent if you weren't. Ask friends how they viewed step-parents. It's not easy.
I'm not trying to change your mind, but I'm giving my two cents as to what you might not be thinking about.
I'm sure if you were to date him, things would be wonderful... without question... but dating a single man, and dating a single father are two different.. and I mean completely different things.
You will always have to deal with the ex... in one form or another.
Single parents are wonderful. I am a mother of two, and still happily married.
My sister is a single parent and having a rough time trying to find love... Everyone deserves it, but I don't believe everyone knows what it's all about.
My best wishes to you... and if you choose to persue this, it's because you know you're ready for the whole thing!
:)
2007-02-03 21:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by swilkes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let this guy make the first move....he may not be ready for a relationship. who knows. but i think in the long run...it could end up being a rebound thing too....guys need time to heal just like us women ( after a bad relationship).
2007-02-03 22:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your move before someone else does! But don't sound to eager. Start with a lunch date or go out for a cup of coffee after work.
2007-02-03 22:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by shepardstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Later...if you truly like him. You'll wait for him to get his situation in order. It's still too messy right now. Good things come to those who wait, right?....=) Well, believe it because it really does happen to those who wait!
2007-02-03 22:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by Warrior Guardian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL RiGHT N0W HE NEEDS Y0UR FRiENDSHiP && THAT iS VERY iMP0RTANT BECAUSE HE iS G0iNG THR0UGH HARD TiMES. && THE FACT THAT Y0U GUYS SEPND AL0T 0F TiME T0GETHER MEANS THAT HE iS 0PENiNG UP && LETTiNG THE GUARDS D0WN. i THiNK H0NESTY iS THE BEST APPR0ACH. TELL HiM H0W Y0U FEEL && Y0U GUYS CAN FiGURE S0METHiNG 0UT FR0M THERE. G00D LUCK =]
2007-02-03 21:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by MiSz_LAYD3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know how you feel, He most likely feels the same, and if he isnt ready he will let you know. Take your time though.
2007-01-26 23:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him let him know you care,make an excuse to stand a little to close one day and see what happens.good luck
2007-02-03 16:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your heart... his marriage has obviusly been in the shitter for a while if they're now devoriced... and don't you know what a single red rose means!!!??? go for it girl!!!
2007-02-03 21:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by DSGG424 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him lust him?
2007-02-03 22:07:10 · answer #10 · answered by jimjackoff2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋