An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of Church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled,
"Stop! Acts 2:38! " (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,
"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a
scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!"
I got this in an e-mail today! Do you agree now that knowing scripture can save your life in more ways than one?? Take the advice of Acts 2:38 and you will save your life the best way!
2007-01-26 14:45:55 · 12 answers · asked by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes, I could have put it in the joke section but it's a religious joke so please humor me!
2007-01-26 14:46:26 · update #1
bishonenofcacophony
Seriously, I can tell you of plenty of real incidents and one includes a new testament in a man's breast shirt pocket in fact.
Another time though!
2007-01-26 16:13:01 · update #2
That is a hilarious story and yes I agree that memorizing scriptures is a life saver. We never know when you'll be called upon by the superior authorities who demand a reason for your Christian beliefs...see 1 Peter 3:15. We can follow the examples of Jesus Christ and the apostle Peter (who was the outspoken one of the other 12)
2007-01-26 15:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by sunny4life 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have yet to find a way, besides the thickness of the book, that scripture would stop a bullet or an incoming knife or other sharp implement.
The joke wasn't that bad though, but I was hoping for a more "real life situation" thing rather than a bad forwarded e-mail.
Also, if someone is desperate enough to be robbing you, I doubt they care about scripture. Or, face it, they could just repent.
2007-01-26 23:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by bishonenofcacophony 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
LOL,,,thats awesome,,,,yuppers Scripture will save a life,,,,,,,God Bless
2007-01-26 22:58:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetness 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I liked your joke. Thank you for posting it.
God Bless You....Peace.
2007-01-27 01:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does save you from so many calamities including the cycle of birth and death.
I am giving below an incident that took place in South Africa recently.
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We arrived home just after nine o'clock that night, not knowing at all what was destined to happen to us. We parked in the drive way and in a sort of routine way, we walked to the front door. We started to go inside when the sound of many footsteps startled us. We turned around and witnessed the most frightening sight. There were five men standing in a semi-circle in front of us. We were cornered. There was no where to escape except into the house.
They were all dressed in dark clothes and four of them had balaclavas covering their faces. They all stood in the same stance pointing their guns in our direction. My heart started to beat faster as dreadful thoughts rushed through my mind. Will I make it out of this? Will they hurt us? Will anything happen to my family? This is when I heard the voice of my father screaming "KRISHNA!! KRISHNA!!" The man who's face was visible commanded us to go into the house and deactivate the alarm. He said, "Be quiet or I'll shoot you!" Again, my fathers voice, "KRISHNA!! KRISHNA!!" As one enters our house, the first room visible is the temple room. The men could see our Prabhuapada deity and our altar.
They instructed us to kneel on the floor of the entrance hall, however my mother insisted on walking further into the house. When one of the men asked her where she was going, she replied mechanically, "I need to put the alarm off; I need to put the alarm off". He pointed a gun to her back as she walked off but for some reason, he did not follow her. They did not move beyond the temple room. I decided that the only thing I could do was join my dad. I screamed loudly with such anger and desperation in my voice, "NRISIMHADEVA ?€? NRISIMHADEVA". I started to scream Nrisimhadeva prayers at them, as if I was using it as my weapon. My dad then pointed to a picture of Krishna on the wall and very courageously exclaimed, "This is my Lord and He is going to save us!" The men were silent, they didn't say a word. They just stood there, looking really confused.
The man who did not have a balaclava pointed his gun towards my dad once again but his hand started shaking and he didn't pull the trigger. From his facial expression I could see how terrified he was. He was trembling. His eyes appeared as if he had seen a ghost. He turned around, picked up a set of our car keys and they all ran away. After they left, the police and the guards from our security company quickly arrived on the scene in response to my mum's phone call. Later my mum told us that she did not see them carry any firearms at all. Perhaps if she had seen them, she would not have been so brave as to set the alarm siren off and phone the police. So now the questions arise in my mind, why couldn't the men walk beyond the temple room? Why did they not follow my mother into the bedroom? Why did my mother not see their guns? What made us react to scream to the Lord for help and not be silent as the robbers demanded? Why did the men look so terrified? Could they see something that we couldn't see? The answer is simple, NRISIMHADEVA WAS THERE!! The Lord protected us that night and He saved us from being harmed by these terrible men. We could have all been killed. We do not question what we did to deserve this traumatic incident; but rather, we see it as an educational experience to increase our faith in Lord Nrisimhadeva.
Om namo bhagavate sri maha-Nrisimhaya damstra-karala-vadanaya ghora-rupaya vajra-nakhaya jvala-maline mama vighnan paca paca mama bhayan bhindi bhindi mama satrun vidravaya vidravaya mama sarva ristan prabhanjaya prabhanjaya chata chata, hana hana, chindi chindi mama sarvabhistan puraya puraya mam raksa raksa hum phat svaha. "O Nrisimhadeva, whose form is terrible by sharp and long teeth; who is very fearful to see with strong, large nails; and who is garlanded by flames-destroy, destroy my obstacles and kick out, kick out my fear. Scatter, scatter my enemies, destroy, destroy my karma. Flash, flash! Kill, kill! Cut, cut! Ever fulfill, fulfill my desire [to serve You] and protect, protect me and all around me."
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Having faith in scriptures saved this family.
2007-01-26 23:15:11 · answer #5 · answered by S D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It just shows that elderly women can't pronounce the word 'acts' properly.
2007-01-26 22:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by =_= 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Do you realize that it saves you in zero ways?
And in that horribly desinged joke- How are you supposed to hold an Axe and two .38 pistols? You couldn't shoot straight and, by the way; are you supposed to pull 2 triggers with one finger? Worst joke ever.
2007-01-26 22:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by Vader 2 · 2⤊ 6⤋
Preach it little sister!
2007-01-26 23:04:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was very cute!
2007-01-26 22:55:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
What about 'not everybody believes your holy book' don't you understand?
2007-01-26 22:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by eldad9 6 · 2⤊ 5⤋