I am in love with him and he loves as much or more than I do. We love each other and we want to live by ourselves. Currently, we live in the same house, my mom, my brothers and sisters, him, me. What should I do. HELPPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEE.
2007-01-26 14:37:40 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, I am not underage, I am 18 years old. I really don't know if I should stop this or not. He never forced me to do anything we've done, I would leave if I had somewhere to go, but I don't work, have money, or a car. I am stuck. I really don't know what goes through his head if he's been truly sincere or not. I really love him and I don't think he's taking advantage of me or anything like that. I need advise. I know family is more important than him, but there is also love. I need advise not judging.
2007-01-26 17:57:30 · update #1
I love how this person asks for help and all you people can do is say "ZOMG HOW SIIIIICK! EWWWWWW NASTY!". That's not very helpful at all.
Knowing your age would greatly help the answer but since I have to assume that you are underage, I can only answer based on that. It's really simple though...don't pursue it whatsoever. It's terribly illegal in just about every country in the world. At the very least, your stepfather should realize this and back off. You need to tell him that it's legally wrong to try to have some kind of relationship together. Also, if you are underage, the chance is very high that your emotional maturity is nowhere NEAR the level of his, and that factor alone means that it will never work out. You also need to realize that these feelings you have simply need to be put on a shelf as soon as possible.
I did notice though that your spelling and grammar are very good, so it's possible that you're perhaps close to adulthood (seems rare for really young people to have decent spelling and grammar these days...the public school system has gone to somewhere in a handbasket). If that's the case, then you need to handle the situation as adults...you need to talk about it, and you need to talk about it with everyone who will be affected by it. A family counselor may be able to help with this.
2007-01-26 15:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Nodtveidt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm going to assume that you're under 18. And I'm NOT sure what you exactly want help with. Do you want help with trying to find a way that the two of you can run off and live together, OR is he putting pressure on you and making you do things that are uncomfortable and you want help with ways to make him STOP?
HE is the adult (assuming you're under-age), he should be protecting you. But if you "love" him, and he "loves" you, then maybe you both might be feeling that this is OK. IT'S NOT!
You need to say something to someone. Talk to your mother; if that's not an option, talk to a trusted teacher or counselor. If you feel like you're in over your head, CALL THE POLICE.
Nobody should be forced to do things that are unnatural or uncomfortable. I'm not sure about you though because you say you both "love" each other. That makes this really dangerous for all of you because you both may not be thinking straight.
The way you're talking, if both of you are "into" this, is that you would ruin an entire family because of your "love."
Notice I'm saying lots of different things because I don't know the entire situation, and the feelings you both have about this. You DEFINITELY need help, and the only way you'll get it is if you're courageous enough to speak up.
Good luck!
2007-01-26 14:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by The Author 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine what you're going to put your mother through if you continue with this. I think first and foremost you need to put her feelings before your own in this. I've always been one to advocate love first in situations, but on this I think it's an exception. Judging by the way you still live at home with all your siblings, I'm guess you're pretty young. I think you're influenced by a strong older man and that appeals to you. I don't think it's love. I think it's something that you want, and you think it's like a fairytale ending. What happens when he finds someone else? He's cheating on your mom, what makes you think he isn't going to cheat on you? I think you should think of him as a scumbag for cheating on your own mother. I can't imagine what is going through his mind at this point. I hope you guys haven't engaged in anything sexual. He's taking advantage of a young mind and I think your relationship is very wrong.
2007-01-26 14:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me there is a reason why he is your step-dad, I don't think anyone in their own mind would want to date their step-father or mother, You won't get far anyway because your mother will find out and then you will have more problems on your plate then what you already have. I think I would pursue a relationship that does not involve the father and get a real, You might want to consider therapy if it will help you. First tell you mother what you are up, shemight be mad at you at first but she will be even madder if you wait to tell her.
2007-01-26 14:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek some help asap! Hun this is wrong...he is your stepfather! He is your stepfather, for heavens sake..
If you are feeling like you love him, its because he has manipulated you and taken advantage of you, Sweetheart, he dont love you, he wants to molest you or he is a PEDOPHILE, that is a man, that likes to hurt young girls..(in your case) and they use you to make you think they are in love with you, so you will have sex with him
He does NOT love you...HE DOES NOT.
Why would you do this to your mom and your brothers?
This man needs to be locked up...
Dont let him manipulate you and make a fool out of you anymore..Go get some help, tell your mom or go to the police...ASAP.
2007-01-26 14:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.M.G. what are you thinking, go and see a therapist asap, you're mum will have a fit and where does this man get off taking advantage of your emotions.
It sounds to me that he is a bit of a predator, how do your sisters behave when he's around take careful note as you may all be in danger.
2007-01-26 14:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by polynesiachick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe, you should seek professional help for the whole family.
Breaking the news will be tough on your mom, and... quite possibly ruin your household.
What i would say is, forget about the stepdad and move on. Seriously... older men... they really only want one thing, which most of the time is sex, especially when it involves a teenage girl.
So save you and your family the agony and find a new person to like.
2007-01-26 14:44:22 · answer #7 · answered by kira-love ^-^ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well apparently, he would be cheating on you mother if he likes "you". You don't want your mom, brothers and sisters to be disappointed at you. Your mom i am sure loves that man. I am sure you are beautiful but why would you put your mom in a situation like that. You don't need therapy just think this over and think how your action would affect your close family and friends
2007-01-26 14:44:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are underage you need to tell your mom and the police. If you are an adult then you should know better. This is not a healthy relationship. Get help!
2007-01-26 14:42:59 · answer #9 · answered by chemky1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
first of all u stepped way over the line. maybe ur young and mistaking ur feelings. but if not u need to talk to someone and get some help. if he told u he loves u in a romantic way u should tell ur mother cause she dont need to be with him. if ur thinking about running off to be with him think about how much that would hurt ur mom. plus i think he needs help also.......
2007-01-26 14:45:39 · answer #10 · answered by smooth sailing34 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋