Please help! I just think I'm so misunderstood!?
I want to show that I'm interested in something, for example shadowing someone in my chosen profession. But I feel like I come across as disingenous. I ask questions and smile, sometimes I'm quiet, but.....I just don't know how to else to prove to them that I'm interested in the profession which I REALLY honest-to-goodness really I am!
Its like now I don't know how to be anymore, when I try to show that I'm interested i come across as being disingenous and when I don't try I come across as indifferent. Please help. :)
I think its because I smile in the beginnng and then later on become normal, I don't know how let conversations flow well. I do say Wow, and Great and that's Good! When they are telling me something interersting......i just don't know how to act? I can be myself but........they will think I'm indifferent
2007-01-26 14:25:03 · 5 answers · asked by Rachel T. 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am 62 years old and have had a great life. I have done all kinds of things in my life and helped a lot of young follks in various ways. What you are saying is a common thread. Lots of people doubt themselves and how others see them. It is a phase of life that some people go through and others don't.
My suggestion to you is that first, don't push. After a while all you think about is making a mistake or being thought of incorrectly, so back off a bit and stop hanging on somebody's words. And also when you use words like Wow, Great, and thats Good people can think that you are patronizing them.
Perhaps the best thing is to think of how you would talk to your best friend or a brother, sister or parent. Use the same kind of language and stop being self concious of being misunderstood.
Also, smiles are important and I would not give them up. You know how some people smile and it seems kind of false. Well I think thats because the smile is there and then its gone. A person who smiles because they genuinely can't help themself has a smile for a while that does not suddenly disappear. They turn away and they are still smiling as though they are finding pleasure in something.
Interest is demonstrated by asking questions and then just listening. Some people talk a lot about themselves and this is a bit of a turnoff. So ask the question and then say nothing.
Interest is shown by taking notes. If what you are shadowing is involved or complicated, ask if its OK to take notes. Carry the notebook with you all the time and jot things down. People find that very flattering.
I think in general that you need to stop being self critical. Just relax and let it happen. Email me if you want to talk about it further. Good luck.
2007-01-26 15:23:04 · answer #1 · answered by The Answer Man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your profession?
Instead of worrying about superficial appearance, such as smiling or generic responses (Wow, Great), can you be more specific? Can you ask questions in more detail, delve into the actual content and personal motivations or philosophy of the person you are sharing with? Each person has such a unique perspective that when you focus this deeply and personally, the conversation is clearly not generic or superficial, but is focusing on the knowledge and experience that particular person has to share.
For examples, can you watch good TV interviews on news shows or documentaries, or read articles from reporters who ask about VERY specific issues and angles, where they dig and dig and dig to get to the points that they want to bring out.
From my experience, if you let people lead the conversation, and talk about what matters most to them, and then ask for more details and clarifications or explanations, then it is clearly about them sharing their personal expertise or experience. So I would recommend asking for more details and depth once you start asking about a topic.
2007-01-27 15:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truly pay attention, this will communicate via body-language that you're interested...
Why it really even matters, if the other person recognizes your interest, I can only wonder at.
2007-01-27 00:13:32 · answer #3 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop getting unnecessarily overconcious abt yourself
i think u're still in yor teenage
everything gets normal with time
deevas@hotmail.com
2007-01-26 22:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by Osama bin Laden 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Huh? I think you have the pretty girl syndrome.
2007-01-26 22:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lucy Lu 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋