i've been messing around with my friend for a while now and at first i thought it was just going to be a physical thing but now its something else. i'm afraid that i have fallen in love with him. i know that he loves me to because he told me this even before we started messing around. i dont kno what to do. i wanna start a relationship with him but the thought of him breaking up with me would tear my heart to millions and millions of pieces. so what do you think i should do? should i start a real relationship with him or should we jus continue being friends-with-benefits.
2007-01-26 14:11:17 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if it bothers you that much to the point to which you aren't happy, then tell him. You're happiness matters to a good friend no matter what the circumstances.
2007-01-26 14:14:31 · answer #1 · answered by lalalala 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been there a couple of times myself!
What (exactly) are you seeking out of this relationship? I presume it is more than just sex!
Do you (both) communicate well? This is a very important step in any relationship. Without communication, you cannot have a meaningful relationship!
Can you trust each other 120% (and then some)? Total trust is needed to make this work.
You could both be perfect for one-another or ... it could be a totally physical thing.
You both need to decide how this relationship will continue. Others (in here) cannot direct you without knowing both of you.
Hope this helps!
The Ol' Sasquatch Ü
2007-01-26 14:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by Ol' Sasquatch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, there is never a good chance that FWBs are going to end well. Just up front letting you know that FWB comes with a lot of complications, and most of the time it's because one fell for the other and that's all they can get from them.
If you know he's totally into you, then go for it! I mean, yes it would totally suck if he breaks up with you but in all honesty what if you have a chance to make a great marriage of it? Even if you didn't go for it and dated other people, are you never going to be dumped or dump someone?
You have to live life by giving it your all. The most important thing is to know that you were true to yourself, honest, and did everything you could to make it work. If it doesn't, there's nothing you can do about it.
2007-01-26 14:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by kswildangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a Friend with benefits is a dead end street, it will be just as bad as a split when your in a relationship.
Friends with benefits will only last so long and the hurt will be even worse when you lose the friendship.
If your not going to start a relationship at least cut out the benefits.
2007-01-26 15:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by Larry S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends with benefits is always a problem because one person always develops more feelings then the other. he's getting what he wants out of you without having to even be in a relationship. you're only making it easier for him. i suggest you talk to him about it and if he doesn't feel the same way you need to get rid of him or you'll self esteem will be at an all time low plus you'll feel extremely used. if he hasnt asked you out now then who knows when he will. maybe hes just using you until someone else comes along. the situation you're in SUCKS. i've been in it too. it's difficult but don't assume ANYTHING until you talk to him about it. i wish you the best :)
2007-01-26 14:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fear of breaking up is always very real, but it's also just looking ahead to failure. Instead of doing that, you should enjoy the time you have with this person. All good things come to an end eventually, so enjoy them while they last! I say that if you both truly love each other, you owe it to each other to be together completely. Fear is natural, but don't let it hold you back!
2007-01-26 14:17:56 · answer #6 · answered by Nodtveidt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he loves you and you love him to,go for it,because you are already FWB,and as it stands now the friendship level has already been elevated,since you and him are being intimate,as FWB if you should fight you still cant go back to just being friends,the friendship would end either way.
so have the relationship because,if it don't work out,at least you will have had that time together.
so you should just have the relationship,that way it can be more special for the two of you,and you never know he could be the one you spend the rest of your life with.
2007-01-26 14:23:23 · answer #7 · answered by moonwalk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bite the bullet and tell him. I was in the same situation and I didn't say anything and he thought I didn't care, so he started talking to someone else and ended our non-relationship. It is worth seeing what he says
2007-01-26 14:15:50 · answer #8 · answered by dab1121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he told you he loved you, and now you have feelings...this is pretty obvious.
You tell him. If you don't, even if he doesn't (even though he said he does so why is there a conflict), , you doom everything to you know where by hiding this very important fact.
2007-01-26 14:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not healthy to just be friends with benefits, have a healthy realationship. You cant live your life wondering what it would be like, if u never tried, cause no matter how u feel u ain't gonna die. Be Safe
2007-01-26 14:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by Christina L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That why F-W-B is a stupid idea. You are offering a guy all that tail he wants with no commitment. Women always end up falling for them, and then they are in your situation. If you want more ask, if he says no then end it or you will be even more hung up later.
Oh yea, if he says no shot him in the face......... just kidding.
2007-01-26 14:18:26 · answer #11 · answered by mike1985x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋