The other night my best friends little sister who is 23 and I 27, were watch a movie at my place together. We’ve known, argued and played pranks on each other since childhood. My house is very big and creepy at night. Long story short I got a dim-witted idea to pull a prank on her (like we always do!), by scaring her once she got back from my bathroom. So when she was walking down the darkened hall I jump out and scared the crap out of her! She punched me in the chest and stormed off. I laughed, thinking it was funny at the time…until I followed her into the living room and realized she was crying really badly. Sitting her on my lap I stroked her back and hair, telling her I was soooo sorry. I was extremely SHOCKED because she NEVER cries! Well not when anyone is watching. Since she was a little girl she has always had this (I’m beautiful, smart, successful, I don’t need anyone) tough girl façade. Well I posted a previous question relating to this the other day…I got a lot of good answer. However everybody told me to talk to her and find out why she was really crying but to be honest I don’t know how to go about it. Every time I ask her why, she tells me without making eye contact “I don’t know.” And tries to change the subject…we both know that there was another major reason for her crying but she won’t say. I really do care about her… I know she’s not angry with me…and I could pressure her into telling me but I don’t want to make her cry once more. She seems to be unusually vulnerable from the other night.
How do I get her to open up to me, and tell me the truth, without making things worse?
2007-01-26 13:29:06 · 5 answers · asked by amesB 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have asked this question before and would like some more opinions before I do anything…so if you have already answer please don’t comment unless you have some thing useful to say. OH she’s in town for the next few weeks and is staying with me.
2007-01-26 13:31:04 · update #1
Hi. While reading this a couple of things to came to mind. One of them being that she really may not know why she was crying. Myself, and many of my female friends are prone to cry over the silliest things when we dont mean to. I have had an utter meltdown over the most trivial thing.
But, you know her and I don't. You seem to think that there is something wrong and would like to help her. That is awesome that you are so caring. I dont think that asking her is the best thing that you could do (sorry peeps, who think it is.) I think that the best thing you could is to let her know that you are there for her and that you truly care for her, let her know that if she ever needs ANYTHING you will be there and then give her space. Don't press it. Don't even initiate it in conversation. Just be there and don't let her have any doubt that you are there. Actions speak louder than words.
2007-01-26 13:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by Wendy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, I'm alot like that, I don't cry infront of anyone, and I don't like it when someone sees me crying and comes to comfort me for some reason I start to cry harder. You scared her, man, when she wasn't expecting it. So she started to cry (hell if I know why we do when that happens) and you found her in a vulnerable state and you when you hugged her to you that turned on the water works. I don't know what ya'lls personal relationship to each other is, but the way you put this seems like you REALLY care about her. Since ya'll have known each other for so long just tell her "We've been close for as long as i can remember, & I've never seen you cry like that. If it was me I'm sorry... but I have a feeling there was more to it than me scaring you. Please, I care about you and didn't mean to hurt you if I did. But if it is something else it would mean the world to me if you told me what was go through your mind that made you cry like you did. You can tell me anything." Just remind her about ya'lls relationship and how she can tell you anything, no matter what. Hope everything works out.
2007-01-26 21:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by roxiluv05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her and say It really concerns me how you reacted when i scared you that night. I will be here for you when and if you feel that you can talk to me about it... Then leave it at that... don't push it because that would be bad or even devastating ... there might be something deep and secretive that may just take time and trust ... JUST BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!! good-luck
2007-01-26 21:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,jus tell her that your concered and that you know that she wasn't crying because you scared her and that you just want her to open up to you.
2007-01-26 23:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by tay-tay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when she is ready she will tell you, don't force her to tell you, let her tell you on her own time
2007-01-26 21:48:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋