LADIES ONLY PLZ- Why is it so hard to understand what women really want?

Question

Ok ladies, I work with this amazing woman and I have a big crush on her. she made the first move- one day she told me- "you look sharp" and the same day, she said- "you look marvelous". we had a couple of small talks and I offered to cook for her and i did. (I brought it to work and after she ate it, she said that next time i make this food, she will buy coffee for us). few weeks went by and i told her that i think that she's a gorgeous looking woman. she said that i made her day. just a few days ago, I went to her and asked her to join me when i go shopping in that store that we talked about before. she said-"i don't know if i have any days off soon". so i said-"how about sunday"? and she replied-"CAN I GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT??? she wasn't at work in the last couple of days so she didn't get back to me yet. but, I am so confused. I thought that I had all the signs that she likes me and when i finally made a big move i get rejected. What shall i do next? maybe just forget this woman??

Answer 1

just keep trying if you really like her you just can't let her go after one reject. you never know she might be the one. so don't give up. best of luck to ya!!

Answer 2

As to your first question, it's hard to figure out what a woman wants because chances are she doesn't even know what she wants.

As far as this other woman, you sound like you were reading things well. However, maybe she has a boyfriend and was only flirting and didn't expect it to go farther. I wouldn't jump the gun on this and write her off. The ball is in her court. Don't ask her again but don't act like anything is wrong or different. Go about the way you have been and if she brings it up then go out w/ her. If she doesn't then she didn't want to take it to that level. But give it a few days before you take it as her decision is made. She didn't say no right away so maybe there is something going on in her life that may determine her answer. Give her some time, i imagine the answer will be clear in a few days.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Give her a break - she was flirting, not saying her wedding vows. My guess is that you probably don't know a lot about her personal life and what reasons she might have for not being able to commit to a date: she might already have a date planned for that night, might have a child's school play to attend, might usually go to church Sunday evenings, might already have a boyfriend, might already have a girlfriend, or she might be trying to put you off indefintiely till you get the idea and leave her alone.

When she comes back to work, wait for her to say something about the coffee you suggested. If she brings it up, says something like "sorry I've been gone, I was sick. When can we get together?" then you know she's interested and had a legitimate reason for vanishing. If she never brings it up again, it's because she wasn't interested in the first place.

If you really can't let it go, ask her again a week after she comes back to work. She'll probably say no again, and then you'll be embarrassed. Chill out and see what happens.

Answer 4

She was flirting with you, and she was enjoying your attention. Now you're actually attempting to have a date with her, and so she's realized it's more than flirting -- and she's not sure whether she wants to take that next step.

That's the thing about "gorgeous" girls; they think that everyone gets the level of attention that they get, so they often give other people that level of attention, and then are caught off-guard when it means more to those other people than it means to them. It's very common.

So, don't sweat it. She wants to be chummy and flirtatious, but that's it; otherwise she wouldn't have given you the brush-off. Like I said, it's just because she's so inundated with over-the-top attention (from people who want something from her, because she's gorgeous) that she doesn't have a proper understanding of other people's boundaries.

To clarify the point further: go to a ballroom or swing dancing class, and you'll find (as I have) that generally the more attractive (or dolled-up) the girl, the less effort they put into dancing well. That's because the more attractive (or slutty) girls are used to hearing guys tell them they're dancing great, even if they're not; meanwhile, the somewhat less attractive (or slutty) girls don't get that level of undeserved praise, so they work harder -- and I find they're much, much better dancers than the gorgeous girls, and so significantly more attractive to me because of it.

Answer 5

If she is sending you mixed messages then I suggest just being straight forward with her and ask her if she is interested in you. If she says yes and you guys make plans again and she backs out then she is just playing games. Guys aren't the only ones that just want a fling and take that into consideration too. I would be careful about dating someone at work remember no matter what happens you will have to deal with that person for the rest of the time you work there.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are doing good so far. Do you think maybe she has some personal things going on?? I mean, does she usually miss work?? She might have something going on at the moment where she can't commit to the time. I would give it a week and approach her again.

Answer 7

it would want to correctly be countless causes a million. Your stalking her - leave her on my own 2. She is playing troublesome to get 3. She has been harm previously - supply her time and area 4. She is genuinely no longer that into you (see a million.) in reality, again off for now and be conscious what takes position. you've made your intentions frequent.

Answer 8

I've just go to say it .. .Most guys are just plain dumb-as*es. A woman compliments them, gives them a little attention, and the guys "expect" that means they will go out with them. How dumb is that?

You are not getting it, Jujitsu ... she was nice to you, she complimented you, and I'm sure she likes you in a friendly way. That doesn't friggin mean she wants to date you. She is trying to blow you off in a nice way. Why put her in a bad spot? Because you are a guy that's why. Be her friend, but drop this goofy idea any woman that pays any attention to you wants to go out with you. Sheesh ..when will the majority of you guys get it????

Answer 9

She was only making small talk with you. She only wanted to be friends. She was glad for your compliments but you read her all wrong. You said it yourself, it was "small talk". You want to why you didn't understand her? YOU DIDN"T LISTEN!!!! You were so busy reading between the lines that you didn't even read the lines. I won't say forget about her because friendships can blossom into something else, don't try so hard.

Answer 10

your feelings MIGHT be directed differently towards here,,,women flirt a little more than men do, and most of the time its unintentional....now, im not saying she isnt interested, but I would atleast back off her a little, that way you dont make yourself feel uncomfortable in this situation.... let HER make the next move...see what she says and what happens...dont ask her out or cook her anything....or do coffee....let HER come up with the next little date you guys have....that way you will know what she feels a little bit better...

Answer 11

maybe she's just scared. you should probably just talk to her. she might be scared of getting attached, losing a friend, or maybe she's in a relationship. but if ya really like her then don't give up. you dont want to be 10 yrs down the road and wonder what if.......?