Has anyone ever claimed to have forgiven you for something and then used it against you in the future...constantly? In my opinion, if they forgive you, then they should just drop it....what do you think? I don't think it's fair.
2007-01-26 13:00:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Has anyone ever claimed to have forgiven you for something and then used it against you in the future...constantly? In my opinion, if they forgive you, then they should just drop it....what do you think? I don't think it's fair.
When we first met, he insisted that he did not want a relationship and I made the mistake of messing around with someone else (I thought he was not interested and I suppose I was stupid for letting the other guy take advantage of me. I had been lonely for a REALLY long time and felt like I was not good enough)
2007-01-26 13:12:15 · update #1
If they keep bringing it up, it means they aren't over it. Address the issue again and see if you can deal with whatever it was.
It's also possible that this subject allows the other person to gain the upper hand and they are using it to manipulate the relationship.
2007-01-26 13:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Shelley 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and its not right at all. We have all had people do that to us. I could name a few names right now, off the top of my head, But I wont get into all that.
Forgiveness is a huge thing..It really is, and its something that should not be taken lightly. Some people get in a fight or whatever, and make up 15 minutes later, and say Oh, I forgive you, but they really dont, because they throw up all your words you said to them, constantly...thats not forgiveness.
Forgiveness takes time, Sometimes it takes years to forgive someone..Does this make sense?
Before we tell someone that we forgive them we need to make sure we really do, make sure we are healed up from the hurt that they caused.., make sure that once we tell them we forgive them, that we wont ever bring it up again.
God wants us to forgive, But we rarely forget, thats human nature, and thats ok..if we dont forget.
Talk to your boyfriend, make sure he is alright, and help him find ways to heal over this, apparently it hurt him, although you did not do it on purpose...Let him know, that him saying he forgave you but bringing it up constantly is really hurting you, Let him know that this will hinder your relationship, and it will be real hard for the 2 of you to move forward, and make progress in your relationship if he keeps doing this..
Im so sorry this happened, and I understand what you are saying completly..Maybe this will help some...
2007-01-26 21:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really thing constantly bringing up the past in any situation is right. The past is exactly that..the past. When someone forgives you for something you have done, then the issue should be over. Just the fact that they said the words, but did not follow through shows me that they actually did not forgive and I would tell them that.
2007-01-26 21:06:48 · answer #3 · answered by natashainka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are soooo right but in the real world sometimes they say they forgive you just to get more information to use against you. They should drop it and move on but some people have no life and the only thing they have to do is make someone elses life miserable to make themselves look good when it just makes them look like an idiot
2007-01-26 21:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you there, I don't forgive easily but I tell my partner I forgive him so as not to hurt him.... so there he is thinking I'm fine with him and I have to keep making remarks about the past because I can't still get my head around it, or let it go.... no matter how many times I talk about it....
I wish I wasn't like this because it's marking the end of our relationship
2007-01-26 21:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by bummy cheeks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are quite right. It's all too petty for them to forgive you then use it against you. Remember the old saying "forgive and forget"? It was made for a purpose. That person isn't worth the mud you kick off your shoes in the rain.
2007-01-26 21:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to you.....i cheated on my bf but I did it out of revenge and i was honest with him, even though he claims to forgive me he is always asking me about that one particular guy and you wont believe it was 5 yrs ago, he just wont give it a damn rest!
2007-01-26 21:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lady B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When forgiveness is real it's time to move on and leave the past behind. It's over!!!
2007-01-26 21:05:26 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course this is the way it should be but nowdays this isnt the case anymore since apologies aren't sincere anymore when someone says "i'm sorry" it doesn't mean im sorry anymore. For instance if you bump into someone instead of saying "excuse me" that person will say sorry when really its nothing to apologise for.
2007-01-26 21:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea i have had that problem before and i dont like it. if they say ur forgiven then they should drop it and not ever bring it up again
2007-01-26 21:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by carebear_destroyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋