An ex from a long time ago is still in love with me. I recently split up from partner and bumped into him. I ended up kissing him, which is what happens everytime I split up with someone. I don't mean to, but I have a drink, he turns up and before I know it . . .Well, he now wants to visit me for the weekend, and I really don't think it's a good idea. I don't want to hurt his feelings, so how do I let him down, or do I tell him to come up and not let anything happen?
2007-01-26 11:33:52 · 19 answers · asked by kittenwhiskers456 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well...Honesty is the best policy...Cuz once you start lying to not hurt his feelings...When he finds out that you were doing that he will feel even more than hurt, if you were to just tell him, because he will think that the only reason you didn't tell him was for pitty..and that would hurt more than your truth....So your better off just telling him the truth...
2007-01-26 11:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by grumpybear0718 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation.It's hard! To start I just made excuses then i told him it wouldn't be right and why.
If you let him come over something will happen and I think you know this. I think the fact you have just split from your partner makes you vulnerable. You can't think straight you just need someone to ease your pain? maybe. If you wanted him you would be with him. The fact you are not shows he is a kind of safety net. Just be honest. He will not thank you for leading him on but respect the honesty of your feelings. Tell him it wouldn't be right and you are not up to it. Good luck
2007-01-26 11:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by itgirl23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't let him come up and say you won't let anything happen because you have admitted it yourself, you cannot control your actions when you have a drink.
why do you think he's still in love with you? - because you let this fiasco continue time and time again knowing that you will never get back with him. It's your fault why he hasn't moved on.
You may not want to hurt his feelings but you have to be cruel to be kind. And it is yourself you will be kind to. Stopping this 'when you want it - drunk - knocking shop- and pull yourself together! - you have no feelings for this man and you are stringing him along! - whether you like being lusted after or not you need to finish with him and treat people with the respect you would like to be treated with!
2007-01-26 11:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its hard not to hurt him, so basically you should just tell him the truth. Tell him you don't think its a good idea for him to come and visit you because you don't feel for him what he feels for you. It is likely he will be hurt whatever you say, he just needs to be told that you aren't interested in him, and then you should try and avoid him, because he is likely to take you seeing him the wrong way and assume that you are interested in him. I hope all goes well, good luck!
2007-01-26 22:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by wiccanfairiekitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both adults, I would let him come over but tell him over the phone or before he comes over that you two are in opposite sides of the spectrum emotionally. If something physical happens, make sure at the end of the weekend that you tell him again that it was just that, a physical affair.
2007-01-26 11:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow--that's a troublesome place to be. i will fairly understand why you're so conflicted. at first, i want you to be attentive to that your existence is by no skill a shaggy dog tale; your babies are no longer a lie. You have been meant to be their mom, and you does no longer have been in case you had no longer been with their father. right this is what i think of: you have been together for 6 years and function 2 babies together, yet you're no longer married. i don't be attentive to how your relationship grew to become into until eventually now you chanced in this out, yet needless to say, something grew to become into conserving you from making that dedication. you're saying that that may no longer something which you would be able to recover from. That actuality on my own will preclude you from feeling fulfilled and happy in this relationship; you may by no skill have faith him. in case you may stay with those issues, then you definately ought to stay with this guy. in case you want to experience happy and fulfilled, you ought to circulate away. ultimately, you will discover a guy who might by no skill cheat on you while you're having this type of troublesome time. I understand that having 2 babies complicates this, yet you ought to additionally endure in innovations that this is undesirable for babies to enhance up in a family contributors the place their mom and dad are not happy with one yet another.
2016-09-28 01:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by heusel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is definately for sure, if he comes to you on the weekend, something will happen. Especially if alcohol is involved. So, if you don't want anything to happen, tell him your not ready or your just not interested in pursuing things again.
2007-01-26 11:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by Danru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you allow him to come see you it will end in bed tell him you are tryin to sort things in your head and need time alone you dont want to rake over old ground and ruin the friendship you pair have and need time to get over your recent split not a rebound hump.
good luck
2007-01-26 11:39:55 · answer #8 · answered by theoriginalbitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex from 6 years still loves me too.. and wants me back even though he has a gf... i would not let him see you if you dont want to see him because he may start an obsession with you because he will want you back even more knowing your single and that you just ened a relationship and you might " need that shoulder " and he wants to be it.
2007-01-26 11:40:36 · answer #9 · answered by Princess S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you have to hurt peoples feelings, let him know nicely that you don't think its a good idea...don't lead him on what so ever...if I was him I would be bitter due to it but over all would appreciate the honesty
2007-01-26 11:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by Fredrick D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋