Okay I have a brother that is the youngest and he is 14. I am 18 and my older brother is 21. The youngest is out of control. He has ADHA, and is in trouble with the law. None of us live at home expect when we come home from colloge and we hang out with him when ever we can. He is part of a ganag at school and has a 9 mm. My parents tried everything but nothing has worked. He went to bott camp and that just made hime worse. He is n=in trouble with the law. We even tried to shock him with bring him to a jail for the weekend and that just changed him to not get in trouble tith the law. Does any one have any ideas to help all of us out.
2007-01-26 11:27:47 · 23 answers · asked by Scott S 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
okay.......i got the gun from him but i left him in his room. He was mad. We called the cops and unless he shows a danger to himself he cant be removed from the house. I am going to be a police officer and my brother is going to be a stste trooper. He dosent do drugs and the meds. dont mess him up. Infact I am on them 2.
2007-01-26 11:36:29 · update #1
And yes the gun was knowen about by the cops but it was fake. It only could shoot out something called Paint rounds. They dont work. They gave it to him cause he saved a cat. And he did better.
2007-01-26 11:40:32 · update #2
Like i said before i am becoming a police officer. and he looks up to me because i got his da (we hae different dads) to stop yelling at him and making him sad. I have even bought him hunting with me. He would never hurt me or brother or our mom. He hates his dad. So far none of this helps us until the end. The 20th answer is the best so far.
2007-01-26 11:55:49 · update #3
Ok ppl.................i am home right now. My parents tried everything be4 calling me and my brother. and i have to type quick so i am using slang so that i can. I might be using diiferent things that what u r use to. And my parents tried everything and even asked over 10 officers and docs. and none of that workes.
2007-01-26 12:04:01 · update #4
Being 14 years of age is so difficult in this day and age. A lot of these kids are running around and acting 10 years older than they actually are. I would with young people in conflict with the law and can tell you that the only way a kid that age will change is when they are ready. It matters not how much programming and/or professional advice they receive as it is contrary to what their peers are telling them. In my opinion the turning point is usually between the ages of 21 - 25 when kids take a look at their lives and decide if they want to do live on the installment plan or try and change the way they live and take the other fork in the road. It is sad that he has been labeled with ADHA also as I'm certain he will use this label to his advantage whenever he needs or chooses. Perhaps there is some sport (basketball, hockey, etc.) that he has an interest in and if he could join a sports group like this he may meet someone with whom he can connect and look up to and trust. I have seen sports turn kids around and others walk away from promising careers in sports by making poor life choices. I remember one young fella who had been selected for a full football scholarship in the States (as I'm in Canada) and one night went to an after hours club that he had been removed from earlier in the night and shot another young man in the back. His whole life changed in these few minutes. Not only was he sentenced to three years custody but he lost his scholarship, some friends and a girlfriend that he thought would stick with him through thick and thin. Wrong!! If your kid brother does look up to either yourself or your older brother then maybe you can try and talk some sense into him and advice him that playing with guns is permanent and will follow him later in his life. I suppose that the doctor has prescribed meds for his ADHA and hopefully he is taking these as prescribed. But other then having a positive role model I cannot think of any other way that may help your sibling at this stage in his life. Best of luck to you brother, you and your family unit.
2007-01-26 11:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to show your brother the reality of his actions, or else he is going to hurt himself or someone else and then there will be nothing anyone can do. You have time now, and I am so glad that you want to help your brother. You have to turn him into the authorities, get him into some counseling, maybe he has to live in a place where people can help him, maybe there is something wrong with him. He needs help, so please get him help. Talk the councelors, they can point you in the right direction. Maybe juvenile hall? Or more jail time? If you report him to the police they will arrest him for possession with a gun, and maybe that will take the gun away from him and make him learn a valuable lesson. He will come back home after he learns, but he has to learn and I really am impressed that you are looking out for your brother. It will not be easy to go through this but you can do it, and he will be a better person for it!
Good luck
2007-01-26 11:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Uzlu2919 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, if he was older and perhaps if our president wasn't so morbidly content to watch good soldiers get killed for his buddies at Haliburton, I'd say that the United States Marine Corps is an outstanding institution for building discipline and helping turn somone around. I've seen that total transformation happen for more than a few people I know.
My brother sounds alot like your brother, weapons, petty crime, thuggery, the Corps fixed all that. They take that anger and restlessness and channel it - like the force or something, it's truly amazing. There is a sign that says "The Transformation Begins Here" , above the entrance to Parris Island, at least there, one can say there is truth in advertising.
Maybe see if the Corps has a youth outreach program. In another two years this war will be all but over and your brother 16-17 and just about ready for them.
2007-01-26 11:44:22 · answer #3 · answered by Mark T 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What College do you attend? I want to know because I am going to make sure that no one I know sends their child to that school. You need to go back to grammar school or Jr, High and learn how to write a simple paper. How do you get through an English report. I would kick you out of my class before I would bother trying to decipher your writings. You computer has spell check.
You brother has parents! If he is ADHA and is in a gang then what on earth has your parents been doing all this time? Maybe he needs to be put into a mental health facility for a while. Go down to Social Services and see if you can get some assistance. (Help for him). You can not do it from College. Your brother doesn't have time apparently and your parents are not doing anything so he needs to be locked up and get some mental help.
Good luck
2007-01-26 12:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, sounds like he is getting a lot of attention for his behavior!
I think he needs to be re-evaluated by another psychiatrist... this does not just sound like ADHD alone, this sounds like he might also have Oppositional Defiant personality. Is he on any medication, and for God's sake, has anyone taken the gun away from him?
If I were your parents I would put him into total lock down.. homeschool, parental controls on the computer, make him earn everything and cut him off from his gang...EVEN if that means moving to a different school district.
Other ideas- Military school or one of those working farm schools/ group homes....
Just remember, everything he is doing is his choice. You are not responsible for the poor choices he makes.. it seems like you all are trying everything that you all can. He is lucky to have you all in his life. BTW, do you all go to church or anything? Sometimes a youth leader can help getting through to teenagers when adults and sibs can't.
Good Luck!- dd
2007-01-26 11:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by dedum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get that gun away from him first. Call the cops and have them remove it from your home. I really don't know what else your parents can do it sounds like they have run out of ideas. Maybe he needs to go to jail for a longer stay than a weekend. If he's involved with drugs maybe you can get him into a rehab or something. Good Luck.
2007-01-26 11:33:01 · answer #6 · answered by CctbOh 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does the police know he has a gun? My first task would be to get the gun and turn it over to the police. They could track where it came from and possibly find out who is selling guns to minors. He needs to be on medication to control the ADHA and somehow be separated from his gang. Would it be possible for your parents to enroll him in a Military Acacemy or a private school for more one on one attention in the classroom and better dicipline at school? Your family will be in my prayers.
2007-01-26 11:37:22 · answer #7 · answered by Country girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your parents should move him out of the neighborhood permanantly. Keep him very busy....karate, music instrument lessons, volunteering his services for the needy. He sounds like he has too much time on his hands, keeping my 14 yr old busy has been the answer for us. Good Luck. Oh, and you can also try military school. He should be on medication for his ADHD to help him focus better which will give him the ability make better discisions.
2007-01-26 11:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by jupitor 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, but my only advice is to see professional. I dont think putting this question on yahoo will really help, because theres not much you can do now, and punishing him even more won't do much, or he might get even more mad and do worse things. Just see a professional.
Good luck with ur brother
2007-01-26 11:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by xhalfangelicx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you're a christian there's always prayer, but i know thats not the answer you're looking for. I have a lot of family members who have gone through this and they have paid there dues by now buit the only real way for him to do better is for him to want to get better for himslef. This may sound harsh, but he may have to get put in jail or get caught doing whatever he's doing for this to stop. My cousin just stopped selling drugs not to long ago but even though we had tried a lot of things it took him WANTING to do better for his own sake and for his own special wants for him to finally calm down. Maybe if ya'll are having family issues he can only find comfort in being rebellious, maybe he's doing it because of peer pressure, or maybe he just needs Jesus. I don't know why he's doing this but he has a reason. Couseling........maybe! But it's going to take a serious change in HIM for him to get better.
2007-01-26 11:34:41 · answer #10 · answered by noella. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋