I am a very attractive woman in my 30s. I have always felt sexy and sensual and always had many compliments from the opposite sex.
So, why is it that, a guy who is short, bald, fat (no offense to anyone) finds that it's ok to tell me that I don't "measure up" to other women in the physical department?
By the way, he has never seen me in person and made this judgement based on what he saw through a web cam...
This is the FIRST TIME any guy has ever said this to me, that I'm not pretty enough. I know this will sound dumb, but... WHY do I even CARE???
By the way, because he is alledgedly "inteligent" and "smart" he feels like women are just so crazy about him and ALL of them will readily sleep with him whenever he wants to...
What do you all think? Should I tell him EXACTLY how I feel about his stupidity? Or should I just let it slide and move on??
2007-01-26 10:43:44 · 32 answers · asked by Sweetheart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you've been corresponding with George Costanza. lol
Anyway, all levity aside, it IS rude, what he said to you... regardless of what you look like. Typically, when people are insecure about themselves for whatever reason they do one of two things: 1) Tear down another person in order to make themselves seem better, or 2) Inflate their own qualities in order to make themselves seem better. This is called "leveling." And in this case, this guy is doing both.
He's probably been bullied and teased his whole life. He more than likely has been rejected often by the opposite sex since adolescence. The guy sounds classically insecure to me. So he has to compensate for his own short-comings in order to bolster a pretty low self-esteem. He launches pre-emptive strikes against people in order to protect himself from the pain he's used to feeling. In other words, better to be on the offensive than have to suffer pain on the defensive.
Of course, all of this is conjecture. I'm not a therapist and it sounds like this guy could use some counseling. But that's got to come from him. He has to recognize his need. In the meantime, politely tell this guy to buzz-off. You don't need someone negating what you know to be true about yourself. And despite what SOME doofuses may think, being in your 30s by no means is the beginning of the fall for women. 30 is the new 20, baby. I happen to be 40, look 30, and feel 20. So, don't let anyone tell you that you're not attractive or that you're slipping. As long as YOU feel sexy, confident, sensual and attractive, then you are. Sexy is first in the mind...then the body. You GO girl!
P.S. And yeah, isn't it funny how we can be told 1,000 times that we're pretty and all it takes is ONE voice to undo that? It bugs you because you're human and it hurts to be told something mean-spirited like that. But believe me when I say this: what he said is NOT about YOU......it's about HIM. No need to get into a pissing match with him, giving him an opportunity to say more nasty things. Be the better person here. Let it go...move on.
2007-01-26 11:04:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, why should you care?
He's just another face on the computer. Let's face it, I don't think you want a short, fat, bald man...it's just not the first picture you think of when you think of the man of your dreams.
Don't waste your time thinking about this anymore. He's living in Lalala Land, as in he wished women were lined up to have sex with him. What an idiot, and that's why he's on the Internet looking for a date?
Obviously he's looking for a trophy and not a woman.
Move on, you know looks will fade....that guy is a great example, but if he's a jerk...his looks are just not going to do it for him anymore.
You've got your looks, you're available and still on the prowl...so go get those men that are seriously considering a relationship!
2007-01-26 10:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you never met him, then why do you care?
Perhaps he DOES get fashion models (or call girls) to sleep with him. So what? There are a lot of ugly guy/knockout gal couples... at least for a little while. Who would marry Woody Allen for his looks? Billy Bob Thorton, Mick Jagger, and Lyle Lovett are all ugly enough to peel the paint off a wall with one look and all married hot chicks. Who cares? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if some web cam perv doesn't want to look at you, then fine! Count yourself blessed that YOU don't have to hang out with a fat bald short guy.
Me? I'm not tall, not skinny, and get sunburn on the top of my head. Do I CARE that you implied that I'm not blessed enough in the looks department to marry a lovely young wife with which to raise a house full of beautiful babies? Well, I don't need your condescending negative vibes, (just like the ones he gave you), but you know what? I have dated one of the loveliest women on the planet and SHE thought that I was the cutest guy in the world... THAT'S what mattered!
Move on and don't even think twice about it.
2007-01-26 11:09:52 · answer #3 · answered by Truth be Told 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that this one comment really hurt your ego, and you really shouldn't let it, but we're only human. If this guy thought he had the right to tell you just what he thought about you, then I think you have every right to return the favor. My step dad acts alot like the man you've drscribed. He thinks he is so much better than he really is, and that is such bull. I can only imagin his nerve to say something like that, he must have no respact at all and some one needs to tell him the truth...that's he's not as hot as he may think and that there are pleanty of other men that are better look and more respectiful that piece of ****. I can't see why any woman would want to be with someone like that. That was problably a lie anyway about all the women that want him because he is smart...he can't be too smart to say something like that. All I'm saying is, if you don't take this chance to tell this *** whole where to shove all his remarks...the next chick in line will have the honor. He has it coming...you just as well have the fun of being to one to do it. (And throw a dew more lines in there for me and the rest of us women who have to put up with ***** like him)
2007-01-26 10:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by Som31 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why do you care? A very good question.
This person (I hope he is not a coworker, friend or someone you need to associate with) is not worth thinking about, responding to, chatting with, asking a question on Yahoo answers about, worrying about his opinion, any of that.
Do what you want. I wouldn't blame you if you told him off in the nastiest way possible, but personally I would say Guys like that will never "get it" so just let it go.
Oh, and it was YOUR chat room he was in, I sure hope you banned him.
2007-01-26 10:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by clueless_nerd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, a stupid remark like that is not even WORTH your response. This is a good reason for not exposing yourself to others thru the use of a cam. Impersonal and phony forced intimacy such as that afforded by the use of the web and cams can set us up for all kinds of unnecessary hurt and humiliation.
Go to a mirror, remind yourself of every beautiful thing ever said to you by those who KNOW you, pick up your self respect and move on. Sweet thoughts to ya honey.
2007-01-26 10:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by Ande 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ignore George Costansa!
2007-01-26 10:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Mawm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, by asking this question, you've already given this more attention that it deserves. It's obviously a ploy to get a rise out of you, so try and let it go. Your lack of response will likely irritate him more than a ticked of response to his immaturity would, so screw him. You know you're hot, so who cares what anyone else thinks. As long as you are happy with yourself, it doesn't matter who thinks what. Just keep strutting your stuff and block/ignore the stupid prick :-)
2007-01-26 10:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by jpiglet86 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Because you're not pretty enough to his standards. Guys have different tastes. Some like skinny girls, some like fat girls. Some like donkey's while other's sheeps. Are you that fragile that if a guy tells you that you have the 'desperate house wives look' you automatically fall apart? Look just be fair, it's everyone's right to tell you that you're ugly. There's always someone better looking than you.
2007-01-26 10:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because he thinks he is so hot and women are "usually crazy about him" he probably said that mess to u to ease his own pain of being shot down. People always have to put someone down to bring themselves up. Dont even dwell on that crap...u know your hot! Let him go about his way if u tell him off he's gonna know those words got to u and we never wanna let them see us sweat :)
2007-01-26 10:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by JAY 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋