I need help making an arguement against cohabitation before marriage.?

Question

I firmly beleive that living together before you're married is immoral and a stupid thing to do but I'm really not sure why. I suppose it's just because that's what I've been taught all my life. I'm looking for some solid reasons why that I can use when talking with friends/family who aren't necessarily very religious. Any non-religious reasons that anyone can give me as to why living together before you're married is a bad move?? Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

be sure to see your minister about this and remember Adam and Eve had no certificate....its about love..

Answer 2

Unfortunately - I can't give you any good reasons why cohabitation before marriage would be bad. For me, personally, it was probably one of the best things my husband and I ever did. First, it helped me get used to sharing my space. Second, it's true that you don't really know a person until you've lived with them. IMO, it helps a lot if you know beforehand if you can put up with eachothers odd habits and know if you can respect eachothers space before making a lifelong commitment like marriage. I personally believe that if more people lived together before they got married, there'd be less divorce. Because if they couldn't stand eachother - they would decide against getting married in the first place. But that's just my two cents.

On that note - do you really think you should be advising others against cohabitation when you really have no clue why it's bad and you've never experienced it yourself? That would be like telling others how to raise their kids when you were an only child and have no children of your own. Personally, I wouldn't take advice about investing from a person who never invested. Why should people take advice about cohabitation before marriage from someone who's never experienced it?

Answer 3

The cohabitation laws are being knocked off of the books. They are rarely enforced and the supreme courts of various states have ruled against them. There is a reason for that. It is none of the government's business if a couple want to live together and not be married.

What you are looking for is some study or something that indicates that pre-marriage shackups are a bad thing. I have never heard of a study indicating that. Of course, some people of a religious nature pick and choose which studies they want to see. There are studies that show that same-sex couples stay together longer and have children who perform better in school.

Answer 4

1) How can you be 'firmly convinced' that something is immoral and stupid if you don't know the reason why??? In order to be 'firmly convinced' of something, a person MUST know the reason why!

2) You probably cannot find a non-religious reason why, because THERE ISN'T ANY!!! Living with someone YOU LOVE without being married, IS NOT IMMORAL! IT'S LEGITTIMATE AND NATURAL!

So, my question is, ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THIS PERSON, OR ELSE....????

Because if you're not, then, AND ONLY THEN, IT'D BE WRONG TO LIVE TOGETHER.

Answer 5

I lived with my husband for almost two years before we married and we are very happily married over seven years now. Personally, I couldn't imagine making such an important and serious commitment without living with someone first. I don't think its possible to really know someone without living with them. I think our marriage is in part so solid because we made sure we were really right for each other and committed to making it work. I don't think we could have been that sure if we hadn't lived together first.

Answer 6

I agree with above - forcing *your* religious morals and beliefs on other people is the bad move here, not cohabitation. And if you "firmly believe" anything - and are "not sure why" - you're a jackass and a fool. To try and then go apply that belief to others is moronic.

Answer 7

Statistics show that 60% of couples who cohabitate before marriage will never make it to the alter. However, the 40% that do, generally have a lower percentage of divorce.

Answer 8

Have to disagree with Nicholas H--on the contrary studies show that people who don't live together before getting married are more likely to stay together.

The reason is simple--if you live together before getting married, you are indicating that marriage isn't really that important a part of a relationship. Therefore when a relationship gets tough--and they all do sometime--you're more likely to just "chuck it in".

Also people who live together before getting married are generally less willing to make a commitment--that's why some people live together, they aren't willing to make a real commitment--so their commitment to marriage may be less firm as well.

Answer 9

NOT living together before marriage is the biggest mistake 2 people can make...you do not really know someone until you live with them...until you share every moment with them...when there is no more my space/your space...your stuff/my stuff...a relationship can truly be tested...living with someone takes time, time to learn what works and what doesn't...how to balance the needs of the individuals against the needs of the household...

Answer 10

you are fighting a losing battle. Statistics show that marriages are more likely to last if the people live together before they get married. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong or immoral about living with your future spouse. (I am NOT saying anything about premarital sex, and neither are you. There is NO REASON that 2 people should not live together before they are married, and it is a GREAT way for them to learn if they are capable of living with one another)

Answer 11

I would never marry someone that I didn't live with first. How would you know if you really could stand them the rest of your life?

I'm happily married 10 years and change now.