Favouritism?

Question

Im the eldest of 4 children.

My elderly parents rely on me to do their shopping, collect prescriptions, tidy their home, cook food for them, walk their two golden retreivers, wash the windows and look after the garden.

My brothers and sisters do nothing. They are all over 22yrs old.

I have my own three children and a husband and I still go out of my way to make my parents happy and comfortable.

The problem is that my brother who comes after me in the line up is appreciated more than me and he does nothing much at all. I don't dislike him, in fact we get on very well, but I do not understand it. My parents told me tonight that they want to leave everything in their will to my brother. When asked why, they said that he deserves it. they would not say anymore than that.

I am gutted. not at not being in the will, but the fact that they think HE deserves things and I don't. I am hiring a 'nanny' for them on monday to be paid for by them, am I wrong!! I am fed up!

Answer 1

Explain calmy that you don't think it's fair and ask for a proper explination. If they refuse then tell them that you can't remember the last time he's done something nice for them. Some parents like to play children off against each other (yes i know its wrong!) for the fun of it. If you think this is the case then i'd reconsider doing as much as you do for them.
It wont mean you only do things because you expect to be paid back or that you're a bad daughter, it just means that you deserve a bit on thanks and appreciation. If your not appreciated for what you do then stop doing it, however harsh it may sound.

Answer 2

No you are not wrong, if your parents can afford help they should pay for it and not rely on someone who has 3 kids to care for, even if that person is their daughter. Ask them outright why they are leaving everything to your brother, tell them how hurt you feel about it, not because of the money or whatever but because it is perhaps the lowest blow parents can give to a child, how do your other siblings feel about it?

Answer 3

NO you are NOT wrong, your doing the right thing. They dont appreciate you at all and you don't get not one thing in their will then its time for them to get a nanny.

Thats wrong for them to tell you to your face that you arent getting anything and that your brother is and he does nothing. Something is wrong with that picture.

Answer 4

just tell them u cant go out ur way u have children and a huddie to take care of ask them why cause ur not alway going to be there u should do the things they want u to do once a week anyway gooood luck !

Answer 5

Gee, for someone claiming she would not recommend to offend all of us, you effective are truly offensive. honestly, Judaism become no longer equipped on self-adoration and narcissistic beliefs. that's between the few important religions that considers non-believers to be on par with believers, as adverse to Christianity, Islam and Hinduism, all of which seem down on non-believers as inferior, in accordance to their scriptures (i'm no longer declaring that maximum human beings of those religions who you meet imagine that--i have met very almost no man or woman who does trust that--notwithstanding that's extra a count number of what it says contained in the scriptures on the topic of who receives saved and who is going to hell or is condemned to three different undesirable destiny by technique of no longer being a member of the religion. And that's honestly been believed contained in the previous, and resulted contained in the deaths of 1000's of thousands). as well to, Judaism become equipped on kindness to animals, between the first religions to have humane treatment of animals as an fundamental area of it. It become equipped on popularity of alternative human beings's religions--they have as a lot correct to trust what they do, as Jews do, and are not regarded down upon or considered inferior. And no, the god of the OT and the NT isn't an same. for sure, if one is a believer, then they should be an same, because there is in user-friendly words one god. yet when one isn't a believer, then one is conscious that both the NT and the OT were written by technique of various diverse human beings, which charges for why there are this variety of tremendous number of diverse tones throughout different e book, some conceited and military, some sympathetic and expertise, so harsh and unforgiving. in spite of everything, Jewish concept is nearly a rose, with many layers. on the middle is the middle concept, the concept existence should be secure--ALL human existence, no longer merely oneself or one's human beings. The further layers merely upload to that concept contained in the safe practices of existence, extending it with the help of regulations meant to maintain existence, human and animal, and safeguard the organic surroundings.

Answer 6

Just tell them how you feel, and ask them why they did what they think it's best, good luck.