I have three kids, 25 yo boy, 22 yo boy, 12 year old girl. I have never raised my voice to them, never spanked them, and never had any discipline problems at all. I treated them with love and respect from the moment they were born, and they have returned that respect by getting good grades, being nice and considerate, and keeping their rooms and appearances well cared for. I overhear ppl in stores yelling at their children all of the time, and the kids being rude right back. My daughter has a friend who got grounded just for not turning her pants right side out before she put them in the laundry basket! Another was punished for spilling her milk! Am I just truly blessed with wonderful children, or did calm, rational parenting make a difference? I just wonder why people chose to have children if all they are going to do is yell at them and be frustrated by their every move? would like some input.......
2007-01-26 08:35:23 · 15 answers · asked by beebs 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Calm, rational parenting, all the way.
I don't know if you've watched the "nanny" shows, but usually, when the kids act out, it's because the parents are doing something they shouldn't or not doing something they should.
Lots of parents treat their kids as though they weren't capable of rational thought: imagine how you would react if the people you were around all day thought you were an idiot...
If I were you, I would find all of my kids and give them a huge hug because they've grown up so well (and because you deserve a hug for raising good kids). Not all of us are lucky enough to recognize that children are adults-in-training. They are all capable of becoming wonderful, loving, responsible people. It's just a matter of how they're treated.
2007-01-26 08:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly it ought to, yet no longer in that yelling is a right away cellular-shrinking result. If that is authentic it must be that yelling motives a baby to be 'companies' to diminish IQ, in that it fosters low difficulty-fixing skills, adverse parental modeling for managing conflict, lack of preparation a baby to artwork by ability of thoughts, etc. this stuff would foster decrease IQ, yet does no longer propose that each and anyone little ones that are yelled at have decrease IQ. those skills would properly be discovered after leaving domicile, as an human being
2016-10-16 03:45:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you did a good job - maybe you can come here and teach me how to be calm when my 11m/o is scartching my leg and i have to cook a meal for 5 people, plus tend to animals, rest due to a high risk pregnancy and, keep a close eye on my 2y/o who finds it absaloutly hilarious to climb on windowsills!
Seriously.
I'm all by myself.
My husband works sometimes 6 days a week, 14 hours a day just so we can get ahead (due to theft!) to pay our bills and take the kids on a vacation to disney.
It's hard sometimes to keep your cool when in-laws turn their noses up at you and refuse to help out, even though they live within arms reach!
I get wore out. I didn't expect to get pregnant so soon after my 2nd and i thought it was being prevented and it didn't happen that way - i'm exstatic to be pregnant and i absaloutly love my 2 lil girls to death, we have so much fun together and they are always laughing or saying something that has me crying with laughter.
I hug them till they can't take it no more lol, we say I Love You like every 10 minutes, my 2y/o relays that, even to strangers. She blows them a kiss and says i love you. Both my girls are so affectionate and inpecibly well behaved in public. But there are those moments and you can't tell me you've never had one of those moments, unless your popping pills or a robot, where, the kids are loud and wanting something, and you have like 5 things to get done at once and you feel all hell is going to break lose, that you didn't snap, not even a snap, at your kids.
Now given, your kids have a good age gap. My pregnancies didn't go as planned and my 2y/o is only 17 months older than my 2nd and my 2nd will be 15 months when this one gets here. And trust, we're done lol.
Like i said, i'm on my own, i don't get to go out, i can't let my kids play in the yard because it's being leveled and new grass planted and trees being pulled down etc, it's just not safe right now, this is temporary. So when my 2y/o starts climbing furniture again, and i've told her a thousand times not too while i'm cooking or tending to something, then i'll yell "i've told you once to get down now listen to me or it's time-out!"
I never yell vulgarity, i don't cuss at them. I think your friends mother is harsh...i mean, come on, not turning pants right side in equalls grounding. that's wrong.
2007-01-26 09:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Kat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The way you raised your children is really how all children should be raised. My mom did the same thing and in return she got 2 great kids (yes, I can pat myself on the back) compared to the kind of kids there are now. The parents that do yell at the children and not take the time to correct them properly or explain the right way to do something, deserve to have bad children. You get what you put in.
2007-01-26 08:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Les 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I don't know why they do it, but I totally agree with you. I hear it too and it drives me crazy. I have an 11 year old daughter and she is a great girl. I don't yell and spank and she doesn't talk back. My sister yells at her kids all the time. She has 2 boys 4 and 8. They are rude and disrespectful. I have heard them cuss at her and yell at her. I believe it is because that is how she talks to them.
2007-01-26 09:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by KatC 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are very lucky. Kids need discipline but they don't need to be yelled at. Thats a good way of screwing up the kid mentally. And when they are too hard on their kids they turn kids into mental cases and make them very resentful of their parents. Some people shouldn't have kids if they themselves are not mentally healthy and parents who scream and yell are not mentally healthy.
2007-01-26 08:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by HiTekRednek 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people teach their children proper behaviour and other just correct the bad behavior...
Also... how do you learn to be a good parent... usually from your own... and if yours were bad then it takes some intervention of some sort to break the cycle... for me it was studying child development... child psychology... and studying behavioral modification...
it really set my mind correctly for being a parent... (parent as a teacher not a cop)...
...
2007-01-26 08:47:52 · answer #7 · answered by AvidBeerDrinker 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All children are wonderfull, and so special its just that they are not taught to reach there potential.
By parenting with control and grace, your children respect you and in return they give you control and grace. It is a mutual respect. It is due to your parenting.
A friend of mine asked me why her 3 years old keeps hitting all the time !!! I asked if she smaked her, need i tell you more !!!
Hopefully we are a majority, but my heavy heart says we are a minority.
Alls they want to do is please mum/dad !!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-26 08:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by bambam 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious than you got lucky. Most kids who grow up with out discipline are spoiled brats who ruin their own lives.
Kids need structure, they need discipline, and yes, sometimes discipline is yelling. It sounds like some of your friends are little too hard on their kids, but that doesn't everyone who doesn't do it your way is that bad.
2007-01-26 08:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by tabithap 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
The people you mentioned in it ya there a little over the top. I don't like to be mean to them but they do need discipline.
2007-01-26 08:46:14 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋