Here is the story. I met this guy on vacation and we hit it off. We kept in touch since and he invited me to visit after three months. When I arrived and we got to his house he informed me that he had been seeing someone for three years, that it was a long distance relationship and that it would never go anywhere because neither he nor she would ever move. Also, they only see each other once a month for a weekend. However, she keeps clothes at his house for when she visits. I went nuts and said I was leaving so he paid for me to stay at a hotel.
That first night he took me to dinner and it was so romantic that next thing you know the hotel wasn't necessary. He paid for the hotel but I stayed at his house with him. We had a great time and have been talking on the phone nonstop since I got back.
Since we haven't known each other long enough to demand exclusivity, I am trying to give this a chance, am I a fool? Should I not see him any more?
2007-01-26 07:20:15 · 28 answers · asked by LDR02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your right its a little early for you to negotiate terms of a relationship nor should you be jealous. That fact that he was honest I find admorable. Perhaps he`s even honest with the other girl. So long as you TRULY know where you stand its OK. Understandably, in time you should be able to negotiate terms better suiting YOUR needs.GOOD LUCK>
2007-01-26 07:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by grtoo9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. The fact that she keeps clothes at his house makes me think that she thinks this guy is her serious boyfriend.
If you can, you need to find out if the other woman believes that they are in an exclusive relationship. If the answer is yes, then he probably isn't a trustworthy and faithful guy, and wouldn't be good for you. It could even be possible that he's collecting girls from all over the place who he can see now and then, to keep things exciting.
If it's something more casual (as in the girl is also seeing other people) than if you REALLY want to risk it, the only thing you can do is give it time til you guys have been dating awhile. At some point he will have to choose between you -- and you should be prepared that he may not choose you.
Personally, I would not see him again. I do not like to and will not share a man. But that's me, not you.
Good luck!
2007-01-26 15:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by mistaken4sane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well why are you starting another long distance relationship with someone who already has one? There are lot of people in this world to have to settle on someone who doesn't live close by and who already has a girlfriend. Its pretty permanent when you keep your clothes at someone's house, no matter what he says and they have SCHEDULED time they spend together. He just wants the best of both worlds and if you are desperate and have a few years you just want to waste on someone, then go for it, but just b/c you hit it off doesn't make it a match made in heaven. Bottom line: he's a liar and a cheater... this still makes him attractive to you? He lied about having a GF, he lied to her about you I am sure. What prevents him from doing the same thing to you? This seems like a pretty easy decision to me but then again there are certain women, and I hope you're not one, who live from one dumbass decision to the next and then wonder why they're lives are so empty and crappy.
2007-01-26 15:31:12 · answer #3 · answered by Princess~C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he will cheat on her he will cheat on you. He is not big enough to break up with her, even though he says that it will go nowhere. Are you a long distance relationship too??? He sounds like he has a different girl on every weekend of the month.
Sorry, but this guy is a player, run while you have your heart and your dignity in place.
Remember players are smart. They know exactly what you want to hear, and they know which girls to try. They sniff out the vunerability.
Get some self confidence and dump him before you are hurt. You might be missing out on meeting mr perfect while you are wasting your time on the phone to him.
2007-01-26 15:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by Ang H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, this is one of those guys that is not going to be monogamous in the relationship he is in. He will always be the one married with a girl on the side. I would stay as far away from that scene as I can. He is a cheat and guys that cheat never change until they can't get it up anymore. Even if you did succeed in getting him to give up the girl that he has been in the relationship with for 3 years, he will do the same thing to you eventually. Save yourself the heartache and find a really nice guy that isn't screwing around on his girlfriend.You wrote you didn't know him that well, but you have already slept with him. What do you think that tells him about you?
2007-01-26 15:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have given him the time or day. Does he take this other girl out for romantic dinners when they see each other once a month?
If he was truly in love with you, he'd have nothing to do with this other girl and he would make her pack up her stuff and stay away for good.
If he continues to keep her in his life, even if he says they're just "friends" (that's a classic right there), then I don't think we need to tell you what to do from there.
Don't get too involved with him or else you're going to get hurt bad.
2007-01-26 15:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to deal with baggage...ever. If this works out for you, the other girl is going to be around. And if he has one somewhere else, whats to say he doesn't have two or three?
If this is soemthing you really want to pursue, ask him to think about what he wants. Until he is single and ready to start something new, I would say you shouldnt keep up the relationship - the only one who will win in the end is him. He will have a choice - you won't as much.
good luck!
2007-01-26 15:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by Dolphin373 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you that desperate for a man you make on make a fool of yourself come on somes when a guys tells you he has another woman would you still want to put yourself with him why do you like pain come on and the girl even sees him on weekend you don't even know if they had sex of if you and this other girl are the only one he had at the house come on wake up and smell the coffee he just using you as some men like to do take advantage of someone ... I hope this helps to make a fool out of yourself move on with your life find your own man!!!
2007-01-26 15:30:06 · answer #8 · answered by sugargirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is territory I wouldn't even want to trek into. What's the point of dating a guy,who'll probably sleep with you,and later talk to his girlfriend and tell her how much he loves her.
You shouldn't see him,because of the sound of it,you two are also at a distance,i guess he likes seeing girls from a distance =/
2007-01-26 15:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a fool, he's testing his options. If you like him a lot and it appears that you might , then play your cards this way.
Do not sleep with him until he knows which one of you he wants to be with. The ask him to remove her and her things out of his life if he wants an exclusive relationship with you. She might just be a "buddy" to "do things with" (if you get my meaning) until he finds THE ONE.
In the meantime, guard your heart, don't make demands, be his friend-that's all until he gets his act together. These things have a way of working themselves out over time. Be patient with him, you're new to his life. I only wish he would have told you sooner about Ms. Thing, he probably didn't know how to tell you without losing your interest completely. Good luck!
2007-01-26 15:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by TygerLily 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋