My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. Since we can't have any physical contact, we like to 'work eachother up' by saying 'i love you', and making some 'sounds'. We are both Christians and feel like this might not be a very Christianly thing to do. Plus, I always feel bad about it when I make 'sounds' but I don't feel bad when he makes those sounds or when I work him up. Is this an un-Christianly thing to do? What do you that are in long distance relationships do to fill that void of physical absence? Why do I end up feeling so bad?
2007-01-26 07:20:11 · 18 answers · asked by sammie.leigh 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i am 17 and my boyfriend just turned 18. i'll be 18 in august.
2007-01-26 07:29:57 · update #1
we plan to most likely get married one day, yes. we have been dating for about 10 months. but why don't i feel bad when i work him up? i only feel bad when i make those sounds, too.
2007-01-26 07:37:42 · update #2
i would like more answers about how to fill that void then, please, since most of you are saying that it's wrong. also, i have talked to my boyfriend about this, and he is very understanding and says he doesn't wanna do it if it makes me feel so bad.
2007-01-26 07:39:28 · update #3
Ok- you're a Christian. That's awesome...now it isn't very Chrsit like but EVERYONE messes up so don't be to hard on yourself but also don't think "oh, it's ok b/c we all mess up I can do it all the time" I'm saying that it's kind of like fast food...it's ok if done in moderation. Do you understand? Long Distance Relationships are difficult but if you both love each other then it will work out- trust me it will if you both believe it will. And you end up feeling bad because you know it's wrong but it's ok- we all have messed up and fallen short of the glory of God. Good Luck. Much Love!
2007-01-26 07:28:14 · answer #1 · answered by none 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is making you feel so bad is your conscience. It's understandable that you want to do these things. God created in us the desire for sex, so what you are desiring is only natural. Since you are a Christian, however, you undoubtedly know what the Bible says about it. Your struggle is a conscience struggle because you know that God's Word says you shouldn't be doing that. I am not judging - far from it - because I have struggled with sexual purity myself. I too have my own conscience struggles. Perhaps if you find other things to talk about that you can connect on, then you will have a more meaningful conversation that does not leaving you feeling bad. My advice is to pray about it, but also to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. That is the best thing. Communication is the key. Also, how serious is the relationship? Are you considering marriage? If so, then why not speed up the process so that you won't have to worry about this sort of thing and you will both be happy? If not, then my advice is to curtail things - it can only leaving you feeling unhappy if you are already feeling bad.
2007-01-26 07:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As an atheist, I would say that your Christian beliefs are why you feel bad. You know your pastor/priest would tell you this is wrong. I don't think it wrong, but that doesn't matter. While it's easy to say, well just don't believe, it's harder to stop believing.
The important thing is that you should never do what you don't feel comfortable doing.
It doesn't matter why you don't feel comfortable and it doesn't matter who is trying to get you to do something. What you feel is your conscience and you need to listen to it. It's not a permanent thing, you might change your mind (and you might change it in either a more sexually liberated or sexually restricted way). In any case, don't be forced into things that you don't feel right about.
If your boyfriend doesn't understand that, there is not a lot of hope that he is going to respect your feelings about other things.
Good luck.
2007-01-26 07:26:22 · answer #3 · answered by Dave P 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are referring to sexual sounds, right? If you wouldn't make those sounds when you were together in person, it's probably not appropriate to make them long-distance, either. It's best to keep that kind of thing for marriage, when it is appropriate to express sexuality.
As for filling the void of physical absence, that's a toughie. I can certainly understand why that would feel difficult for you. I suppose you'll have to depend on your family and friends who are around you for hugs and kisses.
2007-01-26 07:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You feel bad because you're a "Christian," and the Christian religion is anti-human and anti-nature.
Sexuality is part of the natural human experience. If your religion tells you that it's inherently wrong, your religion is inherently wrong. Period.
I'm under no delusion that this will convince you of anything, but it's the God's honest truth.
2007-01-26 07:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by jonjon418 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't read anything wrong in it. You are to wait for after the wedding/ marriage vows to have sex. Talking sexy isn't wrong. Wait for the wedding vows spoken and Gods blessing on your marriage before you have sex (become one).
I guess you should make wedding plans, and until then you will just have to miss him.
And being a Christian, you can always pray to God for friendship and loneliness. Read http://fathersloveletter.com
2007-01-26 07:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by t a m i l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Religion is making you behave in silly ways about your sexuality. I suspect you feel 'bad' because 1) this silliness is not fulfilling your perfectly natural sexual desires, and 2) you know this whole business of trying to skirt the edges of your religious taboos is even sillier than the taboos themselves.
2007-01-26 07:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
it's not bad to have normal sexual feelings at your age. Christians teach that sex is bad because it's the easiest way to stop unwanted pregnancy and spreading of STD's.Safe sexual practices can do this also
2007-01-26 07:26:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you don't REALLY want advice on this subject from the Yahoo Answers community, do you?
If you have a bad concience after doing something, just stop.
2007-01-26 07:27:57 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Tooth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1 Tim 5:1-2
* treat your brother/sister w/ absolute purity
also read:Rom 12:10-13
1 Cor 13:11
* mature in your friendship with each other
Jesus also condemns us from lusting one another.
if you feel bad, then Jesus is telling you something. we are expected to see each other as a brother or a sister until marriage.
2007-01-26 07:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jesus junkie 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋