I lost my Mother four yrs ago to cancer when I was 24. The anniversary of her death is soon. Whenever I think about her, I just get very sad and angry. I don't sit and dwell on it everyday, but when I think about her I would like to not be so sad. When does this get better? I hope it does. I just wish she could know her grandchildren. I do my best to make sure they know of her.
2007-01-26 07:18:04 · 8 answers · asked by armywifetp 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My dad died when I was 3 years old so I really have no memory of him. I do love to hear stories of him and think of how things may have been different if he had lived. When I was young and foolish I used to iminage dying on the anniversary of his death at age 27. But thankfully I did not overdose or attempt to take my life at that time. I often go to visit his graveside if things are going either good or poorly. There I talk with him, whether he really hears me or not is not important, as it really helps. I am taking my fiance over to his graveside in order to introduce her. She is fine with this and does not view it as strange behaviour thank goodness. Soon you should be over the grieving process if you said that it ha been 4 years. Try and recall happy times and keep pictures of your mom about so you can see her and show her off also. You sound like a wonderful and loving child of your mom's and I am certain that she would really appreciate the way you are honouring her life. Best of luck and do leave your children with happy memories of the grandma they don't know.
2007-01-26 07:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my dad to cancer in 1996, my niece (That i helped raise) in 1999 to a rare liver disease, a step niece was murdered and my mother died the day they were burring my step niece in 2003, so death is a constant in my life, Yes, the anger fades slowly away, but there is always a lonliness when I think of them now.
And like you I wish that my daughter was able to know them longer, but the thought that I hold onto is: they are in a place now where they don't hurt, they don't have to suffer from sickness or violence anymore and I wouldn't bring them back to this world again for anything
2007-01-26 11:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by kathy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one! I lost my Mom 22 years ago, my son was 5 at the time, lost my sister 7 years ago, and my brother 1 year ago. So, trust me, I've spent alot of angry/sad time!!! I won't say it gets better, but maybe it gets a little easier every year. The time does come when you think of your Mom and smile. You're doing good to make sure your kids know their Gramma (that's something I always did too). Keep telling them stories and showing them pictures of her, that's going to help you also! At Christmas time I always make the "special" cookies Mom made, it keeps her memory alive for me. I have a quilt my sis made that I keep on the wall. As for my brother--that's still to fresh for me now, but it's getting better, I actually laughed the other day telling a story about him! I still get sad and angry and alone, but every day it gets a bit easier. It will never go away--but I think in time it will be "tolerable" and I'll be able to think about our times together and smile!
2007-01-26 08:42:18 · answer #3 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost both my parents but I was never angry. I was happy for them because their suffering was over. I try to remember all the good times I had with them. I can smile when I think of them now. It has been 2 years for my mother and 16 years since my father died. It helps to know they are together again and happy.
2007-01-26 08:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father died last June of cancer, so I know where you are coming from.
I was upset, and angry as well, and I miss him a lot.
The only thing that is helping me cope with all this, is knowing that he isn't suffering anymore. He is healthy and happy in a safe haven where nothing will ever harm him again.
Everyone deals with loss differently, no one can say for sure when you will feel better, you may not, which is understandable. A daughter losing her mother is one of the greatest losses we will ever endure, but feel comfort in knowing she is looking down on you and your family with a big smile.
2007-01-26 07:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Jessabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad died almost 2 years ago to cancer, I still miss him so very much I have never been angry about, just sad that his is gone, but I know someday we will meet again
2007-01-26 09:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom died 16 years ago to cancer i was also very young i am still mad, not that she died just the way it all happened, she could have got help when she was first diagnosed but refused. i am not as mad and don't have nightmares anymore, but when i think about it the feelings come back.
2007-01-26 07:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by fallen_angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm different...and most people would think this is mean...but when both my parents died...I was actually indifferent. Cause they never raised me or did anything to help me. But when my grandparents who raised me died, I felt a bit bad.
2007-01-26 08:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋