My best friend's wedding has been called off twice by her finace' since he "proposed" to her in September (wedding date was April 21st). During the second call-off, my friend canceled everything and got her money back and the fiance's mother kept her engagement ring just in case they got back together. They are now getting back together for the second time and are planning a completely different wedding. The guy's mother talked to me about it and said she would give the ring to him and get him to propose in a better way (the first time he basically just gave her the ring without saying anything while she was on the phone with his brother) like the whole romantic down-on-one-knee thing. However, he's treated her horribly in the past (cheating on her, ignoring her...) and I really don't like him. I've told her about the things he's done but she refuses to believe any of it. Since she won't listen to me and I've given up on helping her see his true side, [question above] for him to use?
2007-01-26 07:07:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I've begged and pleaded with her to stay away from him but she won't listen to me because I've "never had my wedding day taken away from me" as she says. She thinks I don't understand the situation when I try to talk to her about it. I've given up and want to let her make her own mistakes and let her see for herself how he really is.
2007-01-26 07:18:19 · update #1
Also, I'd love very much to tell him to never come near her again but he wouldn't have to. She'd go to him. She's a lost cause, so like I've said, I've given up.
2007-01-26 07:21:05 · update #2
Babs, I at least want her to be able to tell people she had ONE good proposal.
2007-01-26 07:54:00 · update #3
Why even try to help him? He sounds like a jerk. I would just stay out of it and not be involved.
2007-01-26 07:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by gobanana516 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on what she's into. I've often thought of better ways I could have proposed to my wife. I think when a guys is doing this for the first time he is really nervous, and unsure and that makes it difficult. Some good ideas (again depending on what she into):
Some sort of trip to do something fun, such as horse back riding, hot air balloon ride, or cruise, and then at the end of the ride and the best time of her life, tell her how valuable she is to you, how much you want so many more wonderful journeys/adventures with her, and something romantic like how you'd go to the end of the Earth or universe to be with her. Also good if she into sports or entertainment of some sort, take her to a live event (game or play) and see if you can get one of the actors to call you up maybe during an intermission or something 7th inning stretch at a baseball game) and announce to the "whole world" your love and desire to spend the rest of eternity with her. Simple idea: cook her a wonderful dinner of her favorite things, just to show her you care and how much she means to you. Then (like you said) get down on one knee, look deep into her eyes, and ask her this most important question and let he know you are serious. Again, I gave my wife a Christmas present and when she opened it I sort of choked by the wonderment on her face, but thankfully I had written a poem to help us both get through the awkward moment.
2007-01-26 15:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by Matt B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is going through a similar deal- They didn't even make it 6 months being engaged the first time, the second time was a month and now they seem to be "just dating" which is ridiculous to me. He's done all the same stuff to my friend as your friend's guy has done to her so I understand your frustrations completely! I've given up on trying to make her understand and just act surprised every time he does something new. Anyway, I think dinner at a nice restaurant would be a good start. And maybe he could apologize first and then get on one knee and re-propose.. I don't know, I think that would work.
2007-01-26 15:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by Lime745 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With all the dirt on him you've mentioned, it sounds like simply getting down on one knee in a semi-nice setting would go above and beyond satisfying everyone's expectations. Even better if he slips in an apology/explanation for past behavior and promises he has grown up, can't live without her, etc.
By the way, I think it's great that even though you don't support the decision, you are doing your best to be a good friend and help him give her something memorable.
2007-01-26 16:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by Meems 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to change your question as clearly you don't care how he "re-proposes", you just want your friends answer to be "no". If you've already told your friend how you fell about the guy then you've said your piece and you need to back off and let the chips fall. Who your friend marries is ultimately non of your business and she's the one who will pay the price for her bad choices. Move on.
2007-01-26 15:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by Aunt Bee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Short answer: your intentions are good, but you're not her mother and you don't need to stage-manage her life.
If this situation is for real, you need to stay out of it unless she asks you for help. It's always best to treat people like people, not puppets, no matter how much of a "lost cause" they seem to be.
2007-01-26 16:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by mrrmaid 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel strongly about what a bad guy he is for her, don't participate. Show her that you care about her enough not to back her up in a huge mistake.
2007-01-26 15:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by swanser 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not help him with this. Allow him to step up to the plate. If he really loves your friend, he should be able to come up with his own ideas. You shouldn't help him romance her. If he fails, then it might help her see the real "him".
2007-01-26 15:16:05 · answer #8 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it, because if something goes wrong again the blame might be on you.
2007-01-26 15:16:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sheila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they do not belong together, she needs to run as fast as she can and not turn back. she is only hurting herself.
if he left her then, what will he do in the future?
2007-01-26 15:14:34 · answer #10 · answered by cardsfan420 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋