Okay, I am looking for people who have been or are going through the same thing to tell me how they cope/deal with their spouse hating your parents.
Background: My husband and father decided to go into business together, which I was strongly against. Things fell a part and my husband blames my father(which I can see that my dad did make poor choices) and feels betrayed. Now he says he can't be around them anymore. The reason it's so difficult is b/c we have a son(their grandson)and I am very close to my family.
The question is: Has anyone else gone through something similar and how did you handle it? How can I live 10, 15, 20 years with this tension?
Please don't write something ugly, I really am just looking for some unbiased advice.
2007-01-26 06:50:58 · 5 answers · asked by emrobs 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In all honesty there's not a lot you can do, you need to let you husband and your dad work things out on their own. If you try and get involved it will only cause more problems, you even said your husband has a right to be upset, let him work though the issues on his own.
Has he told you that you cannot have contact with them either? Go visit them when he's busy hanging out with friends or working. I'd just let him know that they are still an important part of your life and he needs to let you still visit them, you understand why he's wanting some distance from them for now, bu to please respect you and your wishes that you still get to visit them.
2007-01-26 07:10:40 · answer #1 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately Im in the same boat. My husband really really dislikes my family. (my brother and my dad but for different reasons) We still go see them and yes he comes. He just doesnt talk to them. He sits there not enjoying himself while I have a grand ol' time. Then when we get in the car to go home he starts going on about whatever was said or not said while we were there. I guess I should be grateful he goes at all. I really dont know how to fix it, but I would definitely not recommend trying to get him to go with you. Just go by yourself and let your son spend time with his grandparents. Sooner or later they will have to come around. If it takes too long sit down with both of them(apart) and tell them how much it hurts you to see them fighting. Maybe they will try and fix it for your happiness.
2007-01-26 07:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit them all down and have a chat about what it is that upsets them all about everything. Tell them it upsets you because of your son, turn on the tears if you have to, that works a lot. I am sure your parents nor your husband want to see you hurt. I do not know if you all drink or not, but offering wine will really loosen everyone up and help them to be honest.
2007-01-26 07:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tight spot! Would it work to talk to your husband. He has to know he is causing you pain. If he won't come around, I suppose that you will just have to see your parents without him. Please don't deny your son loving grandparents because of a bad business deal! That is just cheating your son. Perhaps hubby will get over his anger. I hope so. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-01-26 07:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go over there by yourself, your husband needs to be a man and suck it up,
good question to ask yourself, you need to see if you can live with this 5 or 10 or 15 years,,, down the road
2007-01-26 07:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋