I have been with him for 3 years. We live together, and I just turned 18. He is 23. I cannot picture my life without him, but then I cannot picture a happy satisfying future with him either. Part of me wants to stay with him, but the other part is telling me I need to get out. He has cheated before, and I forgave him. I even trust him to the fullest extent. He has proven himself, but now I am finding myself doubting our happiness together. It makes me cry just thinking about leaving him, but I know we do not have a healthy relationship. Deep down I feel if I am commited to moving on, then why cant I commit to fully love him like I have had before. I want him to be happy and he says he is happy with me. We have talked about this before, but he always talks me into staying. Communication is terrible but I have told him how I felt. I want to be happy with him, but for some reason I just cant allow myself to.
2007-01-26 06:12:58 · 22 answers · asked by amanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So that right there tells me I am not fully in love with him like I so blindingly see. I have attached myself to him since I was 15, he is my only friend right now. I do not want to hurt him, but I also feel like I am lying to him when I say I love you.
2007-01-26 06:13:17 · update #1
You were probably too young when you got together in the first place. Now that you are starting to mature, you are going to change the way you feel about all kinds of things! Take a break away from him for a while and see if your feelings change! Good Luck!
2007-01-26 06:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be very hard, but I think you should get out before you get any deeper into this. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, we started dating right after we graduated high school. I love him very much but I have to admit that there are times when I have my doubts too. I can relate to the situation you are in because you have become so attached and feel that if you leave him, you're going to be left with no one and nothing. I've been there too. But the fact is that you are still young. You have your whole life in front of you and you still have the option to get out especially because you don't love him. It sounds like you guys have gone through a lot of ups and downs together but it seems like there are way more downs then ups. Is it really worth it to stay with him just for convenience? Move out, change your phone number, lose complete contact with him. Go to school because it's the best way to meet new people. Trust me when I say this, you will find someone else. It may take some time but it sounds like you can do soooo much better and be really truly happy with someone else. Don't stay with him no matter how much it hurts you to walk away. The pain won't last forever and I know that you won't regret your decision later on in the future. Good luck with every thing!
2007-01-26 06:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by devious805er 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a life or no life choice to make. Life - you have to move out (yes, it will be hard) and I would guess go and life with your parents or a relative until you can get on your feet. I am hoping that you have stayed in school during this time. If not you HAVE to get your GED and pursue a business school or college in whatever field you have an interest in. Remember, you have your whole life ahead of you, you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to all you have to do it try and stick with it!! Also, there are many different foundations out there to move you in the right direction. Call your local career link office or your counselor - or your could do a search on the Internet for places in your area. (DPW might be a place you would want to contact if you have no income or very little)
No life - well, I think you know what this is... if you stay in your current situation, you will have a life or regret! You want out and if you do not get out, you will blame the boyfriend for the rest of your life. And honestly, if you are doubting your happiness, you need to find what it is that you want in life! You are only 18, the world awaits you!! GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-26 06:32:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about what you are going through. It sounds like you are torn between staying and leaving. When he is away from you, you feel the right thing to do is to leave him and move on with your life. But, when he's with you, you feel that you should stay with him and he convinces you of that.
You also said that you have been with him since you were 15 and that he is your best friend and only friend right now. You feel obligated to stay with him to keep him happy, but you're not sure if he's making you happy because he has cheated on you in the past and you have trouble communicating with him.
Right now, it sounds like you grew up with him and you are relying on him to be your best friend, family, support group...
If you're torn and don't want to leave him right now, maybe you can take small steps and see where it leads you.
Start by focusing on your life. Build friendships for support. Friends are so important at every age. Get involved. School, community, church... Once you start taking small steps and stepping out on your own, you might have a better feeling of what's the best thing for you to do.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-01-26 06:36:39 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are finally ready to leave him. It took me a long time, too, to figure out what I wanted and how to go about it, but once you have analyzed it to this point, it's time to act on it. You already know pretty much that it isn't right anymore (don't beat yourself up for staying with him this long, either--you do what your heart tells you to, and you can't blame yourself for that).
But once you know that the future isn't going to be good, then you start to find a way out. With me, communication was a problem, too...it just didn't work to talk things out. So I told him I was leaving, packed my things, and left. He ignored me, watched football, and I gladly got on with my life. The feeling was unimaginably great, to actually TURN that page I had been staring at and agonizing about for so long. Hopefully it will be as easy for you as it was for me.
I too had no other friends, which is why you think it will be hard, but you underestimate yourself! You're a beautiful person, and you deserve to be treated better. You will cry once in awhile, but it won't kill you, and like I said, mostly you will feel relief!
So congratulate yourself for getting to this point where you're ready to move on. It takes some work to do what you've done, but of course he made it easier on you by cheating. You don't want to stay with him--it's loud and clear. So do what I did, and you won't be sorry. There's a bright future for you out there.
One more thing--in your conversation with him, don't let it turn into an argument. You don't need to put yourself through that. It's something you've already decided, so just inform him of that, and pick up your stuff and go. Good luck!
2007-01-26 06:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the hardest part of moving on is the fact that you have alienated yourself from everyone else to be with him. Look not I or anyone else can tell you what to do or make you feel good about it. but if I were you I would start making some friends. Make a life outside of your relationship and that will tell you a lot about yourself. You are too young to be shutting yourself off from the world. Now he may be a good guy who made a mistake and does love you, but even if that is true don't keep yourself from living life.
2007-01-26 06:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by Rob N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't picture a happy relationship with him because there is somebody else out there who is perfect, and you are seeing the faults that the other man will fulfill.
You may not have met him yet, but take a step in faith, and do this for you.
I was in this situation and finally realized I didn't want to live a mediocre life. I want to live a happy and satisfying life.
Now, I am not only satisfied, but everyday I look at my husband and think...whoa...how did I get this lucky?
Do this for you...you deserve it
2007-01-26 06:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk with him about how you feel. Be firm with your choice. If he's controlling you into staying, then just leave. At the very least, seperate yourself from him. Maybe just go out on dates, but don't keep living together. See how you feel in a few weeks or a month and then ask yourself if you still want to be with him.
2007-01-26 06:24:09 · answer #8 · answered by Julia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gimme a minute math isn't my power. enable's see 7 days a week circumstances 2 circumstances an afternoon (minimum) 7 x 2 = 14 14 minimum! approximately 6 years in the past i might have pronounced maximum a million time a week inspite of the shown fact that! that's authentic what they are saying approximately women individuals of their 30's.
2016-11-01 08:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by nocera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then get out of it. always go with ur instinct it will never stir u wrong. u have matured pass this relationship and there's nothing wrong with that. breaking up is never easy but ur not doin urself or him any good by stil bein in it. u will be sad somedays and happy others after u break up but thats life. but just keep telling urself i made it thru this day, now im ready for the next. then one day ul realize u havent thought about him at all and ur happy. look thru the pain and heartache to the happy outcome that awaits u down the road.
2007-01-26 06:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by foxzie006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋