Friends w/benefits..how to cut it off???

Question

Ok so here it is..i asked a question earlier to get some insight about the whole friends with benefits deal. I've been kicking it with this guy for about a year. I have never developed or even thought of developing any feelings for this friends with benefits guy. Just lately i don't know why i have...TRUST me i know i shouldn't. Ok my question is i don't want to continue having sex with him(really i do) im just afraid of my feelings getting deeper. Do i tell him or should i just leave it alone cold turkey?

Answer 1

...well, if you're having sex with the guy why not try being honest- it's not like that would be "too intimate" or anything.

...tell him what you're thinking and see what he thinks.

Answer 2

Here's the deal. I ran into the same problem. Only I was the guy that was told.... "Things are going to fast, I'm not ready for this, I only want to be friends, no more sex!"

Almost a year of dating, passionate sex, almost every time we were together. Didn't matter where, or what time. In the parking lot at a grocery store at 12:00 noon. My place, her place, driving down the road even. We were almost what you would call nymphomaniacs. But she showed so many signs to me that she wanted more than just sex. We talked too much. My cell phone bill was 5 and 600 a month due to all the calls to and from her. Both of us are fresh out of long marriages and both of us didn't want to fall in love. But when you wake up thinking about each other, and go to bed thinking about each other, to the point you can't even do your work without thinking about each other, something is just right with that picture. She has all the right characteristics of the woman I'm looking for. The way she is with her two daughters, is just magical. I know she's a good mother, a good lover, and a good friend.

One week I get a text from her that said Roses are red voilets are blue, if you only knew how I feel about you. Then that weekend I let her know I feel the same way, the next week she hits me with "we need to just be friends now".

Bam, just like that! No more passion.

That's not the way to do it. If you feel about him the way you do. Why would you throw that away? Because you're not sure? So how do you tell if you're sure? Without staying with it and getting into a relationship. If you decide to quit him cold Turkey, you need to let him know, in all the detail, why! Then you can't come back to him and have a night of passion because he's begging for it. It only leads to him wanting it again and again and again.
She did that crap to me. Broke it off before Christmas, but I already had her Christmas present. LOL she wanted to come to my house to pick it up and yes, I of course put it on my bed.

Her birthday was in January and guess what? I got her a birthday present, simply to get back in the sack.

So if it's over, it's over. If it's not then, it's not. There is no in-between.

Answer 3

I think you should just tell him you tried to keep it light, but you've developed feelings deeper for him and so it will be too hard for you to keep seeing him. He will probably understand and shouldn't give you any trouble about ending things, but....you might be surprised because he very well may have deeper feelings for you too.

I can't predict what the outcome will be, but in this case you have to talk to him about it because it won't get any easier until you do. I've been in a similar situation and it you can't stop yourself from liking someone when you keep seeing them and especially having sex with them. It'll just get worse.

Answer 4

Well those friends with benefits could possibly be feeling the same thing, but not saying anymore because they know what you are to each other. I would probably have to get it out in the open and find out if possibly they felt the same way. If they don't, tho it is time to move on. It will never be the same once you have the convo.

Answer 5

Tell him how you feel and hopefully he feels the same good luck, if he doesn't then I would move on and not do the whole friends with benefits thing again, I have never been fond of it someone always ends up getting hurt.

Answer 6

OK Here is why the friends with benefits thing doesnt ever work.

Sex, as much as most people dont want to admit it, has its emotional ties...I'm not saying that you have sex with one person one time and you are gonna want to be with him forever..But eventually for one or both parties....someone is going to wind up "fallin" for the other person. And they really might not truley care for the other person, its just for the psychological factor that you are giving your most intimate part of yourself and sharing it with someone else.

How you cut it off is up to you...but im telling you...friends with benefits and no other emotional ties...just doesnt exist.

Answer 7

I think since you have been sleeping with him for so long you should tell him something. It's going to be hard for you to leave him alone because you have a physical attachment to him, but for the sake of your feelings you should find someone who wants you like you want him. Tell your fwb that you can't do that anymore.

Answer 8

It purely relies upon how all and sundry is and how their relationships are. some all and sundry is self reliant and marry somebody else it incredibly is self reliant... those couples seem to have not have been given any concern doing issues aside from one yet another and don't sense the could communicate with each pastime or social gathering. Then there are those that % to be with one yet another all of the time... despite they do they do it mutually... you could understand that newlyweds are going to be completely into one yet another for extra or less 2 years until issues loosen up adequate. Marriage does substitute issues, notably between married people and their nonetheless single acquaintances... it purely occurs. Wait until a sprint one comes and you'd be much extra on the outs. people tend to gravitate in the direction of those that they can narrate to.... married people grasp with different couples and as quickly as all of them commence churning out the kiddies... overlook approximately it... I surely have some sturdy friendships yet as quickly as i became going out with my fiance I enable a great form of those relationships go through... enable's settle for it, for many individuals, in case you have a option to grasp including your significant different or including your associates... maximum individuals % the significant different.

Answer 9

its really diffcult to stay "just friends" with someone if you like them...and its even harder to say friends with someone when you are both in a sexual relationship. See i think (and maybe i'm wrong) that guys have it easier because they can easily seperate sex and their feelings....girls have a harder time because they see it as an emotional connection. (Am i wrong, i'm sorry if you guys think so) I had this problem about 3 years ago and I ended up having to stop having sex with him and stop being his friend too...it sucked but now i'm in a long-term relationship and am finally happy. if you can hide your feelings then stay with him, but you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship in which you can be their friend, lover and girlfriend all in one. it is possible.
good luck

Answer 10

Yeah, I think you should tell him your feelings. What would it hurt? Either he can accept your feelings and possibly turn your casual relationship into something serious, or he won't accept it and then you can move on to have a more meaningful relationship with someone else.

Answer 11

Just leave it alone and if he asks say you are not into that anymore and if he has a problem with it then he is only being selfish