he whines and crys and throws major tamper tantrums...have gotten worse since baby was born..also I know its normal...it just makes me crazy and I would like some suggestions to break him from this behavior...
2007-01-26 06:03:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Ignore the behavior that you don't like. It can be hard, but you need to ignore it. When he is whining, crying, and throwing a tantrum act as though he is not in the room. Then when is he acting in the manner you like him to act, show him lots of affection and priase the good behavior. He will eventually learn he wont get any attention from acting ugly and will not only get attention by acting nicely but will get GOOD attention. To children, attention, wether good or bad, is still attention. So, ignore the behavior you dont like and eventually it will go away!
2007-01-30 03:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by all_around_tha_mullberri_busch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He knows what works on you. Right now you'll do anything to stop his whinning including giving in. I know it will be hard but stop responding to him when he whinnes. Tell him clearly, once, that you will listen to what he wants when he tells you or shows you without whinning. If he continues to whine then don't respind. If he throws a tantrum turn your back on him. Give him time out to think about how he's going to ask. Take the time to show him different ways to ask for what he wants. This won't be easy but you have to follow through and be consistant.
2007-01-26 14:18:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jennie C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is whining because he is feeling powerless. He had you all to himself for 3 years and now he has to share you. He is not getting the attention he once had and resorts to whining because he gets attention by doing so. Children will often whine when they feel their parent does not “see” them. When he whines, get down to his level, look into his eyes, and listen. Repeat back what you hear him say so he understands that you are really listening. Show him some empathy “I can tell you are feeling (upset, angry, mad, frustrated, left out, sad…). What should we do about that?” If he continues to whine about things like wanting a treat or putting away toys, say things like “I’m not offering you a choice.” or “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” With practice, he will learn to better express himself rather than whine.
Children who throw temper tantrums are doing so because they are not getting their needs met. If he is not throwing a tantrum because he is feeling sick, he is hungry, or tired, he is throwing tantrums because it gets him attention, it feels powerful, he is testing limits, or he is feeling frustrated.
Avoid punishing or threatening when he throws a tantrum. Instead, do the unexpected. Walk away from him or move him to a quiet place (his room, the couch) and say “When you are ready to calm down then you can come back with me.” Say nothing more than that. This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he is ready to control himself. You may have to return him to the designated spot before he gets the message. Empathize with him when he has calmed down.
You can help him to feel powerful by saying things like "You did that by yourself! You stacked every block! You can run super fast! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on your painting!" This is a great way to show your attention and love, help him to feel powerful, and confident.
Make sure you take time everyday to show him how much you love him. When the baby is sleeping, read him a story, do an art project, play a game, and things that show he is the "big boy" (he can help you with things, help make a snack or dinner, help with the baby...getting a diaper, tell the baby a story, let him pick out baby's outfit...). He will feel very proud to help!
Give him some time, be patient and consistent, set limits and follow through, and say “Yes” as much as possible. Best of luck to you!
2007-01-26 15:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he starts whining, walk away from him. Tell him that you'll come back and listen to him once he's calmed down. Engage yourself with your other kids and ignore him until he does calm down. It might take a few minutes, but he'll stop once he realizes he's not getting the attention he wants. That's really all a tantrum is: a way to get your attention away from anyone else.
The only way he'll learn is if you give him some tough love and above all: stay consistent!
2007-01-26 14:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by Dobby The Great 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When he begins whining, walk away. When a tantrum beings, walk away-ignore it. Eventually when you no longer give him an audience, he will realize that whining and tantrums are not going to get him what he wants, which is attention.
When he is not whining or throwing a hissy fit, give him extra hugs & snuggles, so he can learn that being an angel gets him what he wants.
They are like Pavlov dogs that way, only smarter :-)
2007-01-26 15:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by kelly24592 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every time he displays the behavior, tell him you will not speak to him until does not whine, and then DON'T talk to him. It's going to take time and persistence but once he sees that you mean business he will change the way he talks to you.
Now the temper tantrums should be dealt with by a time out.
2007-01-26 14:16:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Use reverse psychology on him. When he begins whinning - turn the tables on him and get him to help you with the baby. Getting a diaper or helping when you bathe the baby. Right now, he's just not getting the attention he is used of - the baby is, so you must get him to help and praise him on what a 'big boy' or 'helper' he is - then he knows you are giving him attention also.
2007-01-26 15:06:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try never to give him what he WHINES for. Tell him to ask for it in his "big boy voice." Stick to it, and when he asks in a normal tone of voice, then give it to him. Don't loose patience with him or show anger. Just firmly tell him you cannot give him things when he uses that whinny voice. Really STICK to it consistently....no anger, use big boy voice...after a few days you should see some change. And be sure to give him as much individual attention as possible.
2007-01-26 14:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try ignored him, when he start to cry or whines just wait and tell him you don't understand what he wants when is crying,tell him to stop if he don't want to stop just don't talk to him until he stop ,then you pay attention to him for what he want,never scream or talk loud to him because is worst,he can start crying or whining louder,this work for me ,,i have a child same age at yours.
2007-01-26 14:17:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mex Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell your son to speak in a normal voice.If he doesn't ignore him ,Keep repeating this process till he gets the message. i used to have my own day care and this works on all ages.
2007-01-26 14:14:16 · answer #10 · answered by ibsawdust 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋