Do I let him go or have patience with him?
I have been dating my boyfriend for five months now,( known him for 13 through work) and he has been the most wonderful,kindest, loving man I have ever met until last night when he just came out and told me that I was " too needy" and that I complained too much about his drinking, smoking and sleeping too much. I told him I dont complain, that I am concerned, but i guess he thinks I am " nagging". He does have a lot of insecurities, he is very jealous of the attention that I receive from other males. I literally everyday tell him what a good man he is and now all of a sudden he is pushing me away. I know he does not have another woman so this can't be the issue. I am just perplexed cuz he has been so nice and loving up until last night. What do i do? I dont want to get hurt obviously,but why is he pushing me away so suddenly?
2007-01-26 05:44:15 · 9 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he was smoking, drinking and sleeps alot, before you met him...than i don't see any reason for you to be complaining about him, you may have hurt his feelings..its normal to be jealous, as long as it don't get out of hand, look for the good in your man and that's what you will get back..he loves you and hes only protecting his heart, hence the reason hes pushing you away...take him out to dinner ''spoil him'' show him hes all you need.
Good luck and take care
2007-01-26 06:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably partly because you overstepped your boundaries. Acknowledge that he will not change his bad habits until he feels the need to do so. You have to decide whether or not you can deal with them. Nagging will push him away. If it seems that you are not compatible just how it is, and he isn't wanting to better himself for the relationship, the only thing you can do, and it would be kindest to both of you if that's the case, is to back out now, before there's more hurt and confusion. If you can handle it, leave him be. Let him learn his own lessons from his own mistakes. Work on your own instead. Good luck.
2007-01-26 13:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like, even though you speak to him of your concerns, he is feeling harrassed and "nagged". Here's the reality: If you can't accept him completely, that is, with his drinking, smoking and sleeping too much, then you are better off leaving him. He will only successfully change when he perceives the need for change. Until then--and it may never happen--you need to accept him for who he is right now and also accept that he may never change. If you can't do that, you are both better off without each other. Move on. If you CAN lay off voicing your concerns and just love him as he is, tell him so. Talk to him without criticizing him.
2007-01-26 13:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by phenixk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes been quiet this whole time about how you being "too needy" or complaining to much. he probably just blurted everything out since he cant deal with it anymore. dont take it so personally. because in all relationships we all dont like things that the other person does. just talk to him about it and ask why hes being like that and ask why hes trying to push you away. im sure somethings wrong but he just doesnt want to tell you, maybe thats why hes pushing you away. you need to talk to him, or you'll never know.dont breakup with him until you know his side.
2007-01-26 13:52:01 · answer #4 · answered by j yanks 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I get jealous of the attention my girlfriend gets from other guys. Just don't bother him to much about the smoking and drinking to much, just ask him not to drink as much but smoking is a really hard thing to give up. If you ask him to change something then it seems that you don't like the way he is. Just give him time to change on his own.
2007-01-26 13:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by taco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through issues with this guy but I think it would be best for you to let him go. He is not worth it. If you are tryin to show him that you are concerned and he thinks you are naggin him so why stay with him. You don't have to stay around and take it. Move on to someone who will appreciate someone caring for them and lookin after them.
2007-01-26 13:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by jetta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mayb thing are gettin too serious for him and hes not ready 4 it
2007-01-26 13:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by ashl2e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes guys wanna feel like they are very important. they want the girl to say sorry and begg them for anything and they want to feel bigger then you.
2007-01-26 13:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by liz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah let him go....it better not risk getting hurt
2007-01-26 13:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by Hummm... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋