should i get a perm in my daughters hair she is biracial and she's 11?

Question

My daughter’s hair is very knotted up and is dry and bushy. She is biracial her father is African American and I am Caucasian.
I cannot manage her hair. I only wash it 2 times a week because it is so dry. I cannot run a comb through it. The only time her hair looks decent is when a lady we know corn rolls her hair. I don't want her to have that style forever. I have heard different stories on what will happen if I put a perm/relaxed in her hair. I heard it will break her hair off, and I will have to continue doing touch-ups to her new growth (which can be expensive.)
I was told if I do this I will really regret it. I was also told that it is not that bad and it will make it so much easier to manage. I even talked to different hairstyles.
I am open for some advice. THANKS

Answer 1

I think she'll be fine if you use a very mild relaxer on her. The milder, the better. And it shouldn't break her hair off. Also, try the website below, it has loads of information that would be useful to you.

http://www.treasuredlocks.com/biracial-hair-care-guide.html

Hope this helps!!!

Answer 2

Your the mother and she is the daughter. What you say goes no matter how upset she may be or get. Getting a perm at 11 or highlights is a very young age. She is still very young and when shes older she might regret it or might not like it no more. The only reason she might want to change her hair is because all her friends are doing it and she wants to be in the "Group". I think you should hold off until she is around 13 or 14.

Answer 3

Perming will only dry her hair out more and its true, maintenance can be expensive and time consuming.

Plus, it opens the door to her wanting other treatments (ie. dyeing, extensions etc) in her teen years and that will further damage it.

Plus, its possible her hair will still change. I had poker straight hair (like my mother) until 14 when I got a wave with waaaaaaay too much body. It was puffy, fuzzy and uncontrollable. Then I permed, cracked, broke and ruined it. Now I don't do anything to it and there's other ways to tame it.

Try deep moisturizers for the dryness. For everyday managing try a hair syrum, like St. Ives (comes in a little eyedropper bottle. One drop is thick and slippery but turns frizz into natural curles). A shampoo called "Frizz be gone" or "No more Curls" and such specialized shampoos can also calm it down.

Also, try a bit of gel or mousse and scrunch it up into a messy bun (don't twist it, crumple it sort of) and tie it up while its wet. After an hour or so it comes out in waves or curls that are together and less "full of energy".

Also, there's types of haircuts that will help it sit nicely. I get mine thinned with thinning shears when I get it cut. Instead of one length hair its in many short layers.

Oh yah, you can also work a bit (the amount you'd put on your hands) of hand or face lotion into the hair. That will moisturize it, weigh it down a little and keep the flyaways in.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Please don't let hair stylists put relaxers in your baby's hair. Yes over time it will break off if it's not done properly and carefully. Especially if you get it done in a salon. They rush, use relaxers that are too strong and heat that is too high. That's a deadly combo for textured hair. I've relaxed my own hair for over 20 years and it is beyond shoulder length, thick, bouncy & healthy. It can be done successfully but you have to follow some safeguarding techniques. Email me if you'd like more info.

When you comb it use a very wide toothed comb and only comb her hair when it's soaking wet and saturated with a moisturizing leave-in treatment. Keep a spray bottle filled with spring water near you so you can spritz her hair as you comb it. A good comb for your daughter's hair type is http://www.tenderheaded.com/crbeco.html

A fabulous brush for textured hair is http://www.folica.com/DENMAN_Deluxe_S_d604.html

Check out this link for products and you can even email them for advice http://www.mixedchicks.net/

Also go to http://www.nappturality.com/ Click on Napptural Forum then click Napptural Hair Discussion. There are so many great ladies on there who will share techniques & the best way to manage your daughter's highly textured hair in a way that's best for her health and self-esteem. And feel free to post questions in the forum & check out member's photo albums for ideas.

You can do searches on nappturality. For example I would type in your keywords "combing" or "knots" or "detangling" and see what comes up.

There are so many more styles than cornrows/cornrolls. She's 11 and may be ready for rollersets. My 11 yr old loves them!

Don't use "grease" or that nasty Luster's Pink Oil moisturizer like some uninformed poster suggested. A lot of black women don't know how to care for their own hair. But they are the first ones to give some lame advice. Try natural, healthy products http://www.blended-beauty.com/Conditioner-Biracial-Blended-Beauty.html

Answer 5

Stay with the braiding until she older... my God she's 11 and you want to have her chemically alter her hair, what values does that teach her...

My daughters hair is a nightmare also don't get me wrong here, but I've learned to work with it and teach her too. we braid it, do twists and lots of easy fun stuff that she can do.( she's 9 by the way)

Go to a salon, bring her with you and ask for styling advice for her hair specifically, I'm sure any decent salon will help you learn how to take care of her hair without putting a chemical in it.

Also they can suggest some smoothing products or leave in conditioners that are right for her hair so it will eliminate the dryness and calm down the frizz...

Have patience learning new stuff with her... she'll appreciate that you care to know how to take care of her hair and that you're teaching her how to do it herself...
I hope that helps good luck

Answer 6

No do not perm her hair now because she is too young. Continue with the braids and remember to grease her hair daily to help keep it soft. A perm now will damage her hair and will be hard to recover from. Blow dry her hair straight after you wash it and grease and oil her scalp. Use moisturizers like PINK lotion to keep it soft.

Answer 7

Go to a salon and buy Bed head conditioner!!! It works great!!! Leave it on every time per the instructions for 10 mins. If you cant get bed head get cat walk for curly hair.

Answer 8

i personaly think it will not workj.
i fot a perm was i was 8 it did not work i got a perm when i was 10 still did not work got one at 13 worked. seeing that you hair dose not mature till you are 12 so you might want to wait a little bit

Answer 9

get a children's relaxer for her. it's not as strong as the regular ones. it will make her hair a lot more managable(it won't break off) just make sure that you oil her hair and scalp so that it won't be so dry all the time.

Answer 10

I'm not trying to be mean but why are you complaining about your daughter's kinky black hair. You knew she would have hair like copper wire before she was born.
Accept her African hair and stop trying to make it look more white. You have a black child. Leave her afro kinky hair alone.