My daughter is pregnant again by another man other than my first two grandhildren's father. It is not the future life of the baby, but the fact that she is pregnant by a man who has no job. She was suppose to be going back to school and starting on her cd. I just wonder what is her brain. I am aware that a baby doesn't stop anything. I am just asking for help understanding why?
2007-01-26 05:04:46 · 16 answers · asked by LOLO W 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think it's wrong to feel hurt, you want your daughter to be self sufficient and capable of making good life choices, and being 22 with no education and 3 babies is not exactly going in the right direction. BUT, I think what you can ask yourself is this, "am I doing anything to enable her poor choices?" For example, my stepdaughter got married and had baby before even finishing high school, she was in such a hurry to be an adult. We've given them a lot of money to help them out, but we decided to stop. She wanted to be an adult, and the best lesson we can teach her now is that being an adult involves responsibility, paying your own bills, watching your own child etc. That's not to say we wouldn't take them in if they became homeless, but we didn't think we were helping any by continually throwing money at them. So think if there is any way you can really help your daughter, and yes, I think it's OK to be sad and disappointed.
2007-01-26 05:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the salutatorian of my senior class and graduated secopnd highest. I was married at 18 in an attempt to "do the right thing" when I found out I was pregnant by my highschool boyfriend.
I later left him due to his abusive behavior and the effect it was having on me and my son. I met a wonderful man and we also had a son together. . . although our relationship didn't work out. . .as many relationships do not. . .I still hope to find a fullfiling life partner and possibly marry again and have another child. I have continued persuing my career goals and although it has been tough, I keep my passion for MY dreams and goals alive.
You should not "judge" your daughter. It is unfortunate that her life was not a fairytale. . .it is unfortuante that the first man was not her prince. . . but, this beautiful baby will only bring more joy and life to our world. . .and hopefully this man (jobless or not) will end up to be her soulmate. . .the man she deserves.
I pray for her happieness and success. . .and pray you will continue to show her support and let her know you only wish for her happieness in life.
Fory
2007-01-26 05:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you need to ask yourself a few questions. 1: are the children in a loving nuturing enviroment. regardless of her age. 22, 32, 42 it doesnt matter, there are good mothers who may or may not be int he best finachial situation, who raise beautiful, wonderful children-as a single parent. There are also mothers and father who are finachial stable and neglect, or even abuse their children.
If your daughter is capable and is willing to raise her children responsibly then there is no need to judge her.
It's normal for a parent to want the absolute best for their children.
But you should keep in mind that what it best for you may not be best for her.
Give the baby's father a chance to accept responsibility for his actions before judging him.
And keep in mind that statistically more teens and young mothers become pregnant due to failed contraceptives as opposed to no contraceptives at all.
If it means so much to you have a respectful conversation with her about her lifestyle.
Express your concerns with school and laying the ground work for a solid life.
Be supportive, just because you don't agree with her doesn't mean that you don't love her and that's the most important thing to keep in mind here.
2007-01-26 05:56:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't answer why but I can sympathize. I would be hurt too if my daughter had 3 children at the age of 22. She has her whole life ahead of her. I can't understand children today, don't they know life is to short and she playing russian roulet everythime she has sex with a partner w/o protection. I'm sorry I couldn't be helpful.
2007-01-26 05:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by momseekinganswers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its not wrong.
You want the best for your children but they want to learn from their own mistakes.
They want to experience stuff and learn from them. How many times we all looked back and regretted the decisions we made a few, never?
As a parent only you know how much you desire for her, that you want so much better for her, she does not realize or understand this? She will look back on her life too one day, and want the best for her children.
She does have the best love seeing that you care so much. Your continued support to her is inevitably important to her at this time too, when she is probably down about it as well, even though refusing to admit it because you are her mom? Just a thought.
2007-01-26 05:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I agree with you. Life at 22 should be full of fun, adventure, learning (children are great YES but when your older and lived a bit) I think your just sad for what you know your daughter is missing out on.
2007-01-26 05:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel hurt because your daughter is 22-years-old and is pregnant for the third time with someone else's baby! Besides, your daughter is a grown woman and she needs to take full responsibiliy for her actions! You can't really do anything about it because she's doing this to herself and you can't blame yourself for her poor choices and stupidity! Good luck to you and hopefully my advice helps!
2007-01-26 06:42:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop asking WHY! and deal with the reality of the situation! Are the children being well cared for? It sounds to be not! Don't support her nor the babies--report her to Child Protection services and get help for them! Offer opportunity for her long-term therapy, if you can afford it.-----And why ISN'T it "the future life of the baby" that you're concerned about!!? A GED isn't going to help her keep her pants on!
2007-01-26 05:37:22 · answer #8 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that is so incorrect. unhappy. Your daughter obviously has complications, and that i imagine you ought to be a good father and help to work out a psychologist. you're placing her up for a life of bewilderment and soreness. As on your allure to her, it is only distressing to me as a parent and that i'll't comprehend the way you should go with to damage your daughter in this kind. i wish that you get help.
2016-10-16 03:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had two children with a man i thought i wanted to spend a lot of time with.kept them thinking that would make the diffenece, i was 19 with the first one. eight years later i am in a serious relationship and have had the scare.and that thought entered my mind, and then i realized we didnt need a baby to stay together.you should talk to her, she could be insucure with herself, or think the sam eway i did.good luck
2007-01-26 05:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋