Heres the thing?

Question

I have a SLIGHT problem but first a little background. My husband owns a very sucessful construction and remodeling company.Any work I want done around the house he does it without complaining and puts as much pride in the work he does himself here as he does in the work that people pay his company to do. From building an E85 plant to remodeling kitchens.Here is the problem. We started to remodel our home, every color, fabric and so forth I picked out and yes I asked him did he like it before I made the final choices.Recently after 2 1/2 months of remodeling our upstairs bathroom gutting it to the bones ripping up the floor and even instaling custom made cabinets it is complete. And.......I HATE IT! I hate everything about it, I hate the color, I hate the new heated floor, I hate the windows I hate the cabinets I even hate the shower curtain! How do I tell him? As I type this I am sitting in our computer room it is 1/3 painted something I told him I'd do before he got back on the 3rd

of Feb. The upstairs doors are supposed to be getting new hardware, again something simple I said I could do, but I havent! I have no motivation at all and I dont know where I can find my motivation or infact why it was lost I use to be so thrilled that we were redoing our home. I put off everything these last 3 weeks from doing dishs, laundry and I even for the first time EVER have dust above my door frames. How do I tell him I hate the bathroom without him freaking out, and how do I remotivate myself to complete the things Ive been putting off before he returns home?!

ha ha buzz or is it bizz anyhow like I said I picked everything out and I was taking care of our speical needs terminally ill daughter and now 8 month old son. I'd go upstairs to ask did he need help but he usually refused it. As for what I hate about it, I hate EVERYTHING I dont like the color of the cabinet or even the design.Before he ordered them he told me to make sure it was what I wanted because it could not be returned. The bathroom isnt the only problem, we have a new bamboo floor in our kitchen that are you ready for this: It just pisses me off looking at it. Soon our living and entry way are scheduled for remodel I had THOUGH I wanted tile or marble heated flooring but I am changing my mind. Maybe all these projects are overwhelming to me thank god Ive not made any choices on our "flip" house yet. I just dont know what Im going to do he did work hard and it was expensive even w his "discounts" and I dont want him angry

Answer 1

I think you are suffering from "project fatigue". We've experienced it ourselves and have seen it with clients. Here is what I suggest. Live with the bathroom remodel for a little while. Try to introduce new elements, like color, with towels, throw rugs and accessories in what you think you would like to change the color to. Ask yourself whether it is the design of the new cabinets or the wood tone/color that is bothering you. What would you change about them to like them more? Are there window coverings (i.e. cornices, shutters, draperies, shades, blinds, etc.) that you could use to change the way the windows look? Is there a theme that you are particularly fond of that you can implement to take the ambiance of the bathroom in a different direction? (ie. French country, Tuscan, spa, mid-century modern) In other words, what can you change to change your perception of the room?

Admittedly, my hubby (a well respected interior designer and architect) has implemented some of my designs in our own home that I found myself not happy with upon completion. (Yeah, I know what you mean about being just pissed off looking at something you hate. But, you are really just angry with yourself.) We have corrected what I was unhappy with by additions or subtractions that took the project in a different direction.

You are not motivated to do anything further until you resolve the anguish you feel about the bathroom. I have always found that telling my hubby straight out that I am not thrilled with the results of a project relieves my anxieties while setting the creative wheels in his brain rolling. (He doesn't get angry, he gets quiet and withdrawn for awhile.) For example, he came up with the brilliant idea of putting wallpaper inside of a molding on a wainscotting he installed on half the walls in our bedroom. I simply hated the look of the wainscotting plain, the wallpaper helped but I added a wooden relief in the middle of the molding boxes and the hole thing came together.

Explain to him that you are not motivated to continue the other projects until these issues are resolved. Unless there is schedules involving subs, you are free to stop and start progress on other projects while this is being resolved. Also, admitting mistakes and changing your mind are not crimes, they are opportunities!

Answer 2

Just start doing your projects. You say you hate everything about your bathroom....Maybe ( i have been here) if you pick out new color scheme, new curtain and new hardware (soap holders, tp holders, cabinet handles, etc)...you might be able to like it. This will be the quick fix. As for finishing your own projects, you can only remotivate yourself. I start projects and don't finish them, but I have found just going up there and getting it done does the trick. Put on your fave music, and get to work!! Good Luck

Answer 3

hey, sounds like youre just plain wore out! I'm right in the middle of redoing my own place, so i can relate. there just seems to be spells i go thru where i got zero motivation or inspiration. its especially disheartening when things dont turn out the exact way you thot they'd come together. It happens. my suggestion is for you to change as much about the bathroom as you can on your own, and then explain to hubby that your just unsatisfied with how things came together and that you really want him to help you change things around. sure, he'll prob be a little pissed. but if he understands just how much you hate it, i'm sure he'll come around. if you tell him there's no rush, that will help. If you really hate the outcome so much---Dont Keep IT! you gotta live with it for a long time ,so its important to make it a place youre not gonna hate every time you see it. I've repainted whole rooms and ripped out some newly-laid tile after realizing that it just wasnt what i was hoping it would be, and i wasnt gonna settle for it , even if it meant a lot more extra work.A lot of things simply dont turn out to look as you envisioned, and if you know its something you cant live with---then out it goes.period. as for your lack of motivation, i think its related to your dissatisfaction with how the bathroom turned out. dont let it get you down--you CAN change it into what you really want. so just pick up the brush and act like its a job youre being paid to do for someone else!renos have up days and down days--sometimes its a chore, and other times its a joy.seems like a chore now, but that'll change. make yourself a nice snack, then put on some wake-up tunes, and start rockin'!

Answer 4

I think that you had better find a Marriage counselor before you make a move. The poor guy might strangle you.!Where the hell were you when he was busting his butt. You should have jumped in sooner..You could always start a small fire in the waste basket for an excuse to repaint. The floor, that keeps your pink little toes warm, is something that would be awfully expensive to change. When he comes home you should tell him that you have found a cute little place across town that you just love...Other than that you'll have to hire a body guard..I'll keep my fingers crossed for you....

Answer 5

"God help anyone who would think such a thing"? We can't help what thoughts come to our head. Hey, since you wrote it down, why did you think it? Homosexuality is not the only reason Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. Ezekiel 16:49-50 (New International Version) 49 " 'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. 50 They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen." I think God cares more about how we treat the lowly than about our sexual preference. Now, "mathematically", I can prove that Jesus wasn't gay. The Bible--the OT and the NT epistles--say homosexuality is a sin. The NT says Jesus was sinless. Therefore, Jesus did not practice homosexuality. However, the NT also says that Jesus was tempted in every way that we are, although he did not sin. Therefore, Jesus must have been tempted by homosexuality, too! Now, American "manliness" is a warped thing, not allowing for tender feelings or tears or gentleness. Jesus wept. Jesus allowed the apostle John to rest on his chest. If Jesus were an American teenager he'd be beaten up as a "f*g". (Then again, he was beaten up, wasn't he?) Biblical masculinity allows for more tenderness and vulnerability than American "masculinity".