Should I run away from home?

Question

im a male 16 years old and desperate. I was forced to come back and live with my mom and her abusive drunk boyfriend because it costs too much to get guardianship papers to my uncle thru the courts. I cant live with my father because he is also a drunk. And I called the police on my moms b/f the other day because he called me names while he was drunk and he tried to assault me. My mom said she was kicking him out and now she has changed her whole tune and is talking to him and everything. I HATE HIM.. should I run away today after school....I need to get away for the weekend I need my space away from home.If I get picked up can I tell the cops my moms boyfriend is abusive and i dont wanna be there?

Please do not pray for me. I am an athiest. I appreciate the offer, but no thanks

Answer 1

Can you go stay with some friends? If you have a cool friend with cool parents, then I say do for it. But I wouldn't call it running away, I would all it finding yourself a safe place to live. Talk to some of your friends, let them know the situation, and look into getting emancipated. Offer whoever's parents that you will get a job to help with finances, whatever you have to so to get out of that situation. If you tell the cops you're being abused, you'll end up in foster care, and then your uncle could come claim you but it would take a lot longer. You could always just go stay with him, what is your mom gonna do, call the cops? She is more worried about herself than you anyway. I am sorry that you have to go thru this. Its too bad we don't get to pick our parents! If I lived anywhere near you, you could run away to my house for sure!! :-) Good luck!

Answer 2

Look in your local phone book and find the number for Children&Family Services (I know, I know, you're not a "child," but you're still a minor, so this is the best place to call). Tell them what you told us - your father is a drunk, your mother's boyfriend is an abusive drunk who is threatening your health and safety, and your mother will not kick him out. Ask them to help you complete the change in guardianship.

Meanwhile, pack a bag and go live with your uncle. Even if he doesn't have legal guardianship of you yet, there's really nothing to stop you living there. Make sure to let your mother know where you are - even if she's not being very responsible for your welfare right now, she still loves you and will panic if you just disappear. You still need to attend school, but if your uncle is willing to look after you, it's unlikely that the cops will try to drag you back to your mom's. If any cop does try to make you go home, tell them how the boyfriend is threatening you and have him arrested.
Stay safe and take care of yourself!

Answer 3

My mother grew up in a terrible situation. Her father was a very angry drunk. They would have to go hide out in the woods until he calmed down. She had a terrible childhood. She went to a counselor once and they told her to get a job during the day and to go to night classes. Her senior year she got a job as a waitress and she went to night school instead of regular high school.

You could do the same thing. Just go to high school during the day and get a job at night. If there's a library or something, you could go there before work to do your homework.

Just do whatever you can to limit your time there. If you have an aunt or uncle that knows of the situation, ask to stay there at night. Try to do this until you turn 18. Go away to college then. Get a dorm room or an apartment.

I think it is terrible the situation you live in, but I imagine there are other children and teenagers in the same situation. Maybe you should look into joining some sort of support group for this. You will have people that can relate to you.

I will pray for you.

Answer 4

The Jesse B guy is a moron. Don't take advice from a soul that is so obviously dead himself. You are 16 years and old enough go to your uncle's and stay. Because of the threat of continuing to run away most police officials won't take you to your parents. CPS is a good route to go, I would explain everything you are saying on here to your school guidance councilor. They will contact the proper authorities for you. Your cry for help proves you are an amazingly strong young man that offers a bright future. I takes a lot of courage for your age to realize a problem and seek a solution, good for you. I will keep you in my prayers and I know you will make it in the end. This is a tough battle for any person to bare. You would be making the best decision for you to enjoy your youth by taking the step through your councilors door. You are worth it, and don't let anyone tell you different! I hope this helps.

Answer 5

If you run away, you’ll be picked up and sent back home. If you tell the police he’s an abusive drunk (and if he is, then you need to tell someone) then they’ll report it and it’ll be investigated by the appropriate authorities (ie child services), but that does not mean that you won’t be sent back home while it’s being investigated, UNLESS they have reason to believe that you are in immediate danger…for example, if when they arrive at the house, he’s drunk and yelling threats, well...

Talk to your school counselor about it!


EDITED TO ADD:
If you go stay with anyone without Mom's permission, and she wants to push it, then they may find themselves being charged with harboring a runaway/custodial interference/contributing to the delinquency of a minor/whatever charges your state allows in that situation.

Again, talk to your school counselor. They will be able to advise you.

Answer 6

honey, don't run away. do call child protective services and tell them the police were called on the bf. if you have the cops name give it to them so they can talk to him. ask if they can help you. also talk to any clergy they will try to help even if you are an unbeleiver. tell the school, a teacher ,principal any adult that you can think of and any cop the you come in contact with. if he tries to hit you again , let him, then call the cops they will have to do some thing about it then but dont hit him back . they should lock him up for abuse and an investigation should begin. physical pain for you yes, but easier to get thru than the hell you are in now.

Answer 7

Instead of running away and becoming homeless, join a program, like Job Corps, or the California Conservation Corps, or Americorps. They will give you a place to stay, train you up for a good job, and offer counseling to help you recover from your house. I joined the CCC when I was 17, after a similar situation, and Now I am a Fire Battalion Chief, so I know you can beat this. Just think about how to do it right before you do. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I am so sorry. What a decision to have to make at such a young age. You probably can't rely on your mom because she needs help herself to be able to get rid of this guy in order to safe herself and her child. Child protective services would most likely remove you and place you in foster care. You could also file for emancipation, however it sounds like you need an immediate answer. I'd go to a church and ask for help, or stay with a friend or relative who is kind and sober, then go to the authorities. Also, the school counselor might be able to help you out. My dad was a drunk and it was like living in prison until the day he died of a heart attack. Sad to say, but I felt so free. And please, don't turn to the same methods, like drugs and alcohol. Learn from this. Pray to God and ask him to help you. If you're sincere, he will, guaranteed.

Answer 9

Go to Child Protective services and ask for HELP! A foster home or group home can give you the support you need to finish your schooling, college or vocational training, etc. You cannot live like you are having to! And don't run away! You'll just make yourself vulnerable to different abuses! Plan what you want to do with the rest of your life and get people who will protect and support you until you can go out on your own!!

You can do it!! Good Luck!

Answer 10

I'm so sad for you, i cant believe that a parent would put there relationship before there child.My answer to you is to tell a teacher at school how you are feeling and they can steer you in the right direction.Do not runaway, you can leave on good terms with the help of your school or the police.Please don't run away it all will be better just tell someone right now.