I'm seeing a guy (long-distant) we're not officially in a relationship cuz of the distance i.e. we haven't discussed monogamy. He told me he's slept with a woman, not once, but twice. He said he's done this cuz he thinks cuz of my 'high sex drive' that I'm sleeping around also. What's so funny bout the whole thing is that he wants a relationship. Is he trying to make me think about this other girl sleeping with him, so I am more inclined to secure a relationship with him?! I told him last night, that if she wants to f**k him again, then she's gonna have to ask me for permission, he said "I will do that and asked since when did you become boss?!". Is he taking this seriously? what do you think I should do? I don't want to end it with him.
I really want to be with him! To be honest, I've slept with someone behind his back but I'm not telling him. Do you think I should talk to him about everything I want?
2007-01-26 04:42:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, why did he tell me he's done it twice with her?!!
2007-01-26 04:44:02 · update #1
You're not in a relationship
You're not monogamous
You don't live near each other
You're doing other guys
He's doing other girls
You're lying about it, but getting upset when he accuses you of doing other guys,
Incredible that you not only tolerate it, but participate in it and think it's a good thing.
2007-01-26 04:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you desire monogamy, then he needs to be told this. Don't assume that he knows what you want. If he desires you and another female, and you desire monogamy, then neither of you want the same thing. In order for the two of you to stay together, both of you have to love each other enough to do one of two things: 1 Either forsake all other, if that is what you want. 2 Or accept his being not monogamous. Either way you have to tell him what you really desire. Your sex drive is not why he slept with the other woman. His own heart and mind settled that. If you're hurt that he did this, you owe him no further explanation. He cannot use any thing you did after the fact to justify himself. I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm not sure monogamy is for every one, or the only deal in town. If his sleeping with the other really hurt you, he's not going to know or care unless you tell him. Matter of fact, ask him whether he loves you. That is what I think should settle the whole matter.
2016-05-24 02:09:29 · answer #2 · answered by Shirley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're both incredibly immature. Why are you so upset about him sleeping with someone else when you're guilty of the same sin? If you're going to have an "open" long distance relationship, then fine. But get ready for consequences. If not, then either decide to both stay faithful to each other or break it off and move on. Long distant relationships are hard enough to maintain and they become even harder when you are both sleeping around with other people.
I sure hope you guys practice safe sex!!!
2007-01-26 05:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both so wrong for each other. You're both not taking it seriously, cos if you were, you'd both be looking to trying to be together & forsaking others. Having sex with someone else cos of the 'distance' is just another convenient excuse.
Someone who uses sex with others & jealousy to 'secure' another relationship is someone you should be running hard and fast from. It's unhealthy to start off with, it's immature and does not bode well for the long run. If you're both just looking for a fling, that's another matter altogether.
2007-01-26 04:56:00 · answer #4 · answered by Bugsy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have some issues. You're mad at him for sleeping with someone else when you have too? Or are you mad he told you? It seems he's trying to make you jealous. (or it's a trap for your confession) But there seems to be too much game playing by both of you to be considering to be in any kind of monogamous relationship and as long as you are living a distance apart, I wouldn't even try to have a monogamous relationship, because neither of you can be trusted.
2007-01-26 04:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you guys never discussed having a monogamous relationship, then neither of you did anything wrong, But, i don't get why he is shoving this in your face?
You both need to sit down and have a serious talk, speak up about what you REALLY want.
2007-01-26 05:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm to be honest, Ive felt how you felt right now. B/c last yr i was datein this guy that lived in NY and i still lived in TX. An he pulled that same ****, on me talkin bout he slept with several womens. B/c of the next time we see each other, he didnt want to be rusty, or out of touch in havin sex. and i could believe he would even tell me some **** like that. An just like you i had cheated on him before, but after hearing what he told me. I wasnt bout to tell him that. So i told him "you kno what, next time you think about f***in around on me with another chick. I need to kno' an he said to me "who you think you is, ellin me i need to tell you when ima sleep around" An i simple told him " Well the only reason i wanna kno, is so when your sleepin around with some chick, i can go find me a guy to go get some dick from!!" an we left it like dat!! The whole point im tryin to say is dont get stuck on long distance relationships, b/c they never work out, believe me they dont, unless you have been with the guy for years. but still then you never kno? B/c a guy is not finna sit around in another state, being horney while his chick in another state. he gone go out and find him alittle friend with benifts and they just sleep around when they feel like it. Im tellin you trust me i got 4 brother and i hear stuff like this from them all the time. JUST BE TRUE TO YOUR SELF, AN GOOD LUCK TALKIN TO HIM!!!!
2007-01-26 05:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by tiffany_da_finest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is lying to you about screwing her in an attempt to get you to say you slept with someone. You guys should keep up whatever charade is needed so that after the separation is over you can continue as a couple. I have always told my wife that I would prefer that I be the only one she ever sleeps with but if she ever does fool around please do not let me know. Do not fess up.
2007-01-26 04:52:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both slept with other people, you dont have the commitment to eachother, if he told you his dirt, tell him yours, it will come out eventually anyway, if a split happens, it will be hard...but you will get over it...if you choose to stay together, make sure you both have better boundries in your relationship, your intamacy should be for the one your with only.
2007-01-26 04:53:21 · answer #9 · answered by AntzaGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this boy is nuts, you need to leave him and move on... Even if you love him he is a cheater and he's just trying to sugar coat it, you should just break up with him. It is wrong for him to cheat on you and he will do it again, cuz he knows you're weak for him... Save yourself some drama and dump his sorry behind..
2007-01-26 04:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by Rain L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋